Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (who you went with, what you did) using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix sentence fragments.

Example: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I used to visit them daily with my parents, where we would walk, have picnics and play on the swings. Because these visits were part of my routine, they became my favorite way to relax after school.

Suggestion: Give a direct answer, then explain briefly with specific detail and use linking words to connect ideas. Reduce hesitation and repetition. Mention frequency or activities to make the answer concrete.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. However, because I am quite busy with work and study, I can only visit them on weekends or when I have free afternoons. When I do go, I usually go for a short walk or read under a tree.

Suggestion: Answer clearly and give specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore) and avoid vague phrases and trailing off. Mention where parks should be added or what features they should have.

Example: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because it is very busy and lacks green space. For example, parks near residential areas and schools would give families places to relax and children safe areas to play. In addition, small pocket parks with benches and playgrounds would improve neighbourhood wellbeing.

Suggestion: Be specific and concise: state the park/destination clearly, give a short reason why and perhaps say when or how you might go. Avoid filler words and repetition.

Example: Yes, I would love to visit Disneyland in the future because I have always admired its attractions and family-friendly atmosphere. If I have the chance, I hope to go there within the next few years to experience the rides and shows with friends or family.

× Well, yes, back then I had a habit of visiting the parks with my parents because it was one of my, I would say, daily routine.

✓ Well, yes, back then I had a habit of visiting parks with my parents because it was, I would say, part of my daily routine.

Article errors: 'the parks' is incorrect because 'parks' here is general plural; use no article. Also 'one of my daily routine' is ungrammatical; 'part of my daily routine' corrects noun usage and article placement.

× One of the things that I usually fill out the in my daily routine.

✓ One of the things I usually do in my daily routine is visit the park.

Sentence structure errors: The original has misplaced words ('fill out the in') and lacks a clear verb. Rewriting to 'One of the things I usually do in my daily routine is visit the park' restores correct word order and a clear verb.

× So when I had time, I always went to the park.

✓ So when I had time, I always went to the park.

No correction needed: sentence is grammatically correct. It correctly uses the article 'the' because it refers to a specific park previously implied.

× Uh, same as the same as my little days.

✓ Uh, the same as in my childhood.

Sentence structure errors: Repetition 'same as the same as' is incorrect and 'my little days' is nonstandard. Use 'in my childhood' for clarity and correct idiom.

× I really want to go to the park whenever I have time, but I do not get much time to go to the park these days since I'm quite busy.

✓ I really want to go to the park whenever I have time, but I do not have much time to go these days because I'm quite busy.

Sentence structure errors: 'do not get much time' is understandable but less natural; 'do not have much time' is idiomatic. Also avoid repeating 'to go to the park' unnecessarily; 'to go' is sufficient when context clear.

× But whenever I have time.

✓ But whenever I have time, I try to go.

Sentence fragment: Original is a fragment lacking a main verb. Adding 'I try to go' completes the clause and gives meaning.

× To be honest yes because since my city is kind of a busy city with all the types of employments umm I do not see enough parts in my city for people to enjoy themselves and just spend their time with their kids and all.

✓ To be honest, yes, because my city is quite busy with many types of employment, I do not see enough parks in my city for people to enjoy themselves and spend time with their kids.

Article errors and word choice: 'parts' is incorrect; should be 'parks'. 'All the types of employments' is ungrammatical; use 'many types of employment' or 'many jobs'. Added commas for clarity and changed phrasing to be idiomatic.

× So I would love if we have.

✓ So I would love it if we had more parks.

Sentence structure errors: Original is an incomplete sentence. 'Would love if we have' mixes conditional forms; use 'would love it if we had' to express a hypothetical desire, or 'would love it if we had more parks' to specify.

× When I think about it, actually I had a dream of visiting the Disneyland, so I still have that in my mind.

✓ When I think about it, I actually had a dream of visiting Disneyland, and I still have that in mind.

Article errors: 'the Disneyland' is incorrect; proper noun 'Disneyland' does not need 'the'. Minor restructuring improves flow.

× One day if I get a chance this, I'll definitely visit that.

✓ One day, if I get the chance, I'll definitely visit it.

Future tense and word order: 'if I get a chance this' is misordered and awkward. 'Get the chance' is idiomatic. Replace 'that' with 'it' referring to Disneyland and reorder for clarity.

× Uh, so that is the, uh, that is one of the dreams that I have in my mind.

✓ So that is one of the dreams I have.

Sentence structure errors: Remove filler words and redundant phrasing. 'One of the dreams I have' is concise and grammatically correct.