Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Reduce filler words (uh) and combine short fragments into a single, fluent response. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking phrase. Aim for 2–3 sentences and avoid sentence fragments.

Example: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I loved watching the seasons change. For example, I used to spend hours observing how the leaves changed color and fell in autumn, which felt magical to me.

Suggestion: Use clearer sentence structure and smoother linking words. Replace repetitive 'but' and correct grammar (e.g., 'I always search for parks when I'm abroad'). Provide one specific example and explain why you like it.

Example: I still enjoy visiting parks, although I don't have much free time at home. When I travel abroad I always look for beautiful parks, especially Japanese ones with sakura and lotus ponds, because their peaceful layout and seasonal flowers help me relax.

Suggestion: Be concise and precise. Begin with a direct answer, then explain briefly with specific reasons. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'sakura can draw in my nature'—instead say why the tree might not suit the local climate.

Example: Yes, I would. I would especially appreciate a Japanese-style park for its design, but I realize cherry trees might not suit our climate, so I'd be happy to see parks with a wide variety of trees and flowering plants that thrive locally.

Suggestion: Avoid short fragments and be grammatically complete. State the park clearly (Central Park) and give one or two concise reasons or obstacles using linking words. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I hope to visit Central Park in New York someday because I want to experience its famous landscapes and cultural events. Although obtaining a visa and travel costs are current obstacles, I am saving and planning my trip so I can go in the future.

× Yes, I liked uh, going to parks as a child and uh, it was always interesting for me to watch uh, the season changes.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child, and it was always interesting for me to watch the seasons change.

The phrase 'the season changes' is awkward here; after 'watch' we typically use the bare infinitive or 'change' as a verb. 'Seasons change' is the natural expression. Also remove filler 'uh' and add a comma for clarity.

× Watch how uh, leaves fall in autumn.

✓ I watched how leaves fell in autumn.

This fragment lacks a proper subject and tense consistency. In a past narrative about childhood, use past tense: 'I watched how leaves fell in autumn.' Also remove filler 'uh'.

× Yes, but now I don't have much time for this activity, but when I'm abroad I every time search some beautiful parks.

✓ Yes, but now I don't have much time for this activity; however, when I'm abroad I always look for beautiful parks.

Two 'but' conjunctions make the sentence awkward and confusing. 'Every time search' is incorrect word order and verb choice. Use 'always look for' for habitual action and 'however' or a semicolon to connect contrasting ideas.

× Especially I like Japanese parks with sakura with Lotus flowers and they are really relaxing for me.

✓ In particular, I like Japanese parks with sakura and lotus flowers; they are very relaxing for me.

'Especially' at the start is acceptable but 'with sakura with Lotus flowers' is repetitive and capitalisation of 'Lotus' is incorrect. Use 'sakura and lotus flowers' and split into two clauses for clarity. 'Very' is a better adverb than 'really' in formal corrections.

× Yes, and especially I will be really glad to see a Japanese style park, but I don't think that sakura can draw in my nature so I just would like to see parks with different trees and flowers.

✓ Yes, in particular I would be really glad to see a Japanese-style park, but I don't think sakura would grow naturally here, so I would just like to see parks with different trees and flowers.

'Will be really glad' is OK but 'would be' is more polite/conditional. 'Sakura can draw in my nature' is incorrect — likely meant 'grow in my area' or 'grow naturally here.' Use 'would grow' to match the hypothetical tone. Also use hyphen in 'Japanese-style' and adjust word order.

× Yes, my goal is to visit the center park in New York and I hope someday I will achieve this goal, but it's quite hard nowadays.

✓ Yes, my goal is to visit Central Park in New York, and I hope I will achieve this someday, but it's quite difficult nowadays.

Proper noun is 'Central Park.' 'Someday I will achieve this goal' is better as 'I hope I will achieve this someday.' 'Hard' as an adjective is less natural than 'difficult' in this context.

× Get visa and fly there.

✓ I need to get a visa and fly there.

The original is a fragment lacking a subject and auxiliary/modal. Add 'I need to' to create a complete sentence and correct 'visa' to 'a visa.'

× But I will do my best to see my dream park.

✓ But I will do my best to visit my dream park.

'See my dream park' is understandable but 'visit my dream park' is more natural collocation when talking about travelling to a park. Tense 'will do my best' is appropriate; only change the verb for naturalness.