Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid fillers like "uh." Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (a memory or activity) using linking words for coherence. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., use "relaxed" or "carefree").

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they felt relaxing and carefree. For example, I often played hide-and-seek with friends under the big oak tree, which made weekends memorable.

Suggestion: Avoid a blunt negative; link past and present smoothly. Provide a brief reason and one specific detail about the alternative. Use linking words like "nowadays" or "instead" and keep sentences natural and concise.

Example: Not really — nowadays I prefer walking in the countryside instead of visiting parks because I enjoy the scenic views and it helps me reach my daily step goal.

Suggestion: Correct grammatical mistakes and avoid repetition. Start with a direct answer, give a clear reason, and add a specific benefit or example. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example."

Example: Yes, I would. Parks increase greenery and improve the city's appearance, and for example, new parks could provide safe play areas for children and reduce air pollution.

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid repetition (e.g., "in the future" repeated). Provide a specific reason or detail about what you want to see or do there, and use linking words like "because" or "in particular."

Example: Yes, I hope to visit Sequoia National Park because I want to see the giant redwood trees in person and hike the Moro Rock trail to enjoy panoramic views.

× No, I don't like going to parks now. Instead I prefer walking along the countryside route, enjoying the scenic views and side by side completing my steps for my fitness goal.

✓ No, I don't like going to parks now. Instead, I prefer walking along the countryside route, enjoying the scenic views and completing my steps for my fitness goal side by side.

Present tense and word order: 'side by side' placement was awkward and interrupted the parallel gerund structure. Keep parallel gerunds ('enjoying' and 'completing') together and place adverbial phrase 'side by side' where it modifies the actions clearly. Also add a comma after 'Instead' for clarity.

× Yeah, sure, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks add more greenery to the city and more the greener, more the beautiful, that's my coat. Hence I would like to see more parks in my city.

✓ Yeah, sure, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks add greenery to the city and the greener the city, the more beautiful it becomes. Hence, I would like to see more parks in my city.

Incorrect comparative structure and word choice: 'more the greener, more the beautiful' is not grammatical. Use the correlative comparative structure 'the + comparative, the + comparative' (the greener the city, the more beautiful it becomes). Also 'that's my coat' is likely incorrect word choice; replaced with natural linking sentence. Add comma after 'Hence'.

× Yeah, I would like to visit the Sequoia National Park as I have some information about the world's giant trees that are present over there, but I haven't experienced it in a while and I would like to experience it in the future.

✓ Yeah, I would like to visit Sequoia National Park because I know about the world's giant trees that grow there, but I haven't experienced the park yet and would like to visit it in the future.

Verb form and article use: 'have some information about' is awkward; use 'I know about' or 'I have read about'. 'That are present over there' is wordy and unnatural; use 'that grow there'. 'I haven't experienced it in a while' is incorrect because the speaker has not experienced it at all; use 'haven't experienced the park yet'. Also remove unnecessary article before the park name and simplify repetition.

× Yeah, I liked going to parks as a child, uh, because it was a time when I felt more relieved and stress free and I played along with my friends and I enjoyed every bit of the time.

✓ Yeah, I liked going to parks as a child because it was a time when I felt relaxed and stress-free; I played with my friends and enjoyed every moment.

Word choice and adjective/adverb use: 'felt more relieved and stress free' is unidiomatic; use 'felt relaxed and stress-free'. 'Played along with my friends' is incorrect collocation; use 'played with my friends'. 'Every bit of the time' is awkward; use 'every moment'. Use past tense consistently.