Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and accurate, correct minor grammar and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details (who, what, when) using linking words. Watch for article use and verb tenses (e.g., “I really liked Kunta Park” not “like” for past).

Example: Yes, I loved going to Kunta Park as a child. My aunt took me there every summer, and I spent hours playing games with neighborhood friends and rolling on the grass. Because it was a safe, open space, we could run freely and try new games together.

Suggestion: Clarify unclear word choices (e.g., “box” is likely “parks”) and reduce repetition. Use one clear topic sentence in present tense, then add two specific activities and a linking phrase explaining why you enjoy them. Vary vocabulary (e.g., peaceful, relaxing, restorative).

Example: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks now. I often go to watch birds and relax on the grass while staring at the clouds, which helps me unwind. Because parks are quiet and full of trees, they feel peaceful and restorative.

Suggestion: Give a direct, grammatical response first (e.g., “Yes, I would.”), then provide two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words (“like”, “par new”). Be specific about benefits (health, social interaction, environment).

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. More parks would give children safe places to play and improve air quality, which benefits everyone. For example, parks encourage physical activity and help children learn to appreciate nature.

Suggestion: The question asks about future plans but the answer describes past experience; address the tense mismatch. If referring to future, say which park you want to visit and why. If describing a past visit, keep it concise and specific and avoid repetition (“a lot of birds” repeated).

Example: I would like to visit the bird park in Taiwan again in the future because it was peaceful and had many different bird species. For instance, I enjoyed seeing colorful parrots and listening to various bird calls, which made the visit memorable.

× Umm yes. I really like Kunta Parks.

✓ Umm yes. I really liked Kunta Park.

The question asks about liking parks as a child (past time). Use past tense 'liked' to match time reference and use singular 'Kunta Park' if referring to one park name.

× As a child it was really fun playing with a lot of friends and everything.

✓ As a child, it was really fun to play with a lot of friends and do many activities.

Original sentence uses '-ing' gerund phrase awkwardly for a past habitual experience. Change to 'to play' or 'playing' with clear structure and add 'do many activities' for 'everything'. Also add comma after introductory phrase.

× My aunt used to take me to a lot of parks and it was every summer and it was fun playing a lot of games, roaming around, hanging around, rolling around in the grass.

✓ My aunt used to take me to many parks every summer, and we used to play a lot of games, roam around, hang out, and roll in the grass.

Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for countable plural 'parks'. Combine repeated 'it was' into smoother past habitual 'we used to'. Use parallel verb forms (play, roam, hang out, roll) for clarity.

× Well, yes, I still like going to box sometimes.

✓ Well, yes, I still like going to the park sometimes.

Context requires present tense habitual 'still like' which is correct; primary error is incorrect noun 'box' instead of 'park'. Substitute correct noun to match context.

× It's really fun to bird watch and just lay on the grass and stare at the clouds.

✓ It's really fun to bird-watch and just lie on the grass and stare at the clouds.

Use hyphenated verb 'bird-watch' and the correct verb form 'lie' (base form) for reclining; 'lay' is transitive and requires an object. Keep infinitive 'to bird-watch' consistent.

× It's really fun and there are plenty of birds and trees to look at.

✓ It's really fun, and there are plenty of birds and trees to look at.

Sentence is fine; added comma for clarity. Subject-verb agreement 'there are' correctly matches plural 'birds and trees'.

× Quite sure, because like there are not many parks in the city and not in the neighboring city as well.

✓ Quite sure, because there are not many parks in the city or in the neighboring city either.

Use 'either' with negative and replace 'and not' with 'or' for correct coordination. Remove filler 'like' for formality.

× So I think it's better to build new par new parks for kids to play and to interact with environment around them.

✓ So I think it's better to build new parks for kids to play in and to interact with the environment around them.

Remove duplicate 'par new', use 'parks' plural, add preposition 'in' after 'play', and include definite article 'the' before 'environment'.

× It's really important for kids to grow in greenery.

✓ It's really important for kids to grow up surrounded by greenery.

Use 'grow up' for development and 'surrounded by greenery' as a natural collocation. 'Grow in greenery' is unnatural.

× Well, yeah, I went to the park in Taiwan and it was really enjoyable and quite peaceful.

✓ Well, yeah, I went to a park in Taiwan, and it was really enjoyable and quite peaceful.

Change 'the park' to 'a park' unless a specific park was previously identified. Add comma before 'and' for clarity. Past tense 'went' matches time reference.

× It's a bird park.

✓ It's a bird park.

Sentence is correct; kept as is. 'Bird park' is an appropriate noun phrase.

× You can watch a lot of birds and there are plenty of birds in there, and it was nice to watch a lot of it.

✓ You can watch a lot of birds; there are plenty of birds there, and it was nice to watch many of them.

Replace 'in there' with 'there' and change 'a lot of it' (unclear pronoun) to 'many of them' referring to birds. Maintain past tense 'was' for the speaker's experience.