Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “most vulnerable memories”) and grammatical errors. Keep responses to under five sentences.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. Those visits made me very happy because I played on swings and spent time with my cousins. As a result, parks are some of my fondest childhood memories.

Suggestion: Use correct tense and more natural phrasing. Begin with a clear statement, then add a specific reason or recent example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I often visit a local park on weekends because walking there helps me relax and lifts my mood.

Suggestion: Give a specific preference and clear reason. Use accurate nouns and plural forms, and avoid wordiness. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to explain why.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in Davao City, especially seaside parks, because they offer recreational space and help children relax and play safely.

Suggestion: Clarify which park you mean and use correct place names. Start with a direct answer, then give a short reason or plan. Avoid confusing phrases like 'the digital here'.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit the Digital Park in Davao City because I have never been there. I would love to explore its modern installations and take photos if I get the chance.

× Yes, because as a kid it is the most vulnerable memories.

✓ Yes, because as a kid those are my most vulnerable memories.

The original uses 'it is' with a plural noun 'memories' and misuses 'the most' with 'vulnerable'. Change to plural pronoun 'those' and possessive 'my' for clarity and agreement. Use 'are' for plural subject. Consider replacing 'vulnerable' with 'cherished' if speaker means positive nostalgia.

× It can gain me happiness, it gives me peace that I have experienced those kind when I was a kid and that was be that's the reason why I like going to the parks when I was a kid actually.

✓ They gave me happiness and peace when I experienced those kinds of moments as a child, and that's why I liked going to parks.

The original mixes tenses and has unnatural phrasing ('gain me happiness', 'that was be'). Use past tense 'gave' and reorder clauses for clarity. Use 'those kinds of moments' and 'as a child' for natural expression. Remove redundant words like 'actually'.

× Yeah, I did.

✓ Yes, I do.

The question asks about present preferences (Do you still like going to parks now?). The student answered with past tense 'did', which is incorrect. Use present tense 'do' to match the question.

× Even when I'm only 22 years old right now, I still go to the parks and I feel like it was still happy moments of my life, the best thing that happens to me.

✓ Even though I'm only 22 right now, I still go to parks and I feel like they are still happy moments in my life, some of the best things that happen to me.

Mixes present and past tenses ('feel like it was'). Use 'even though' for contrast, remove 'years old' after age for natural speech, change 'the parks' to 'parks' and 'was' to 'are' to maintain present tense. Use plural pronouns 'they' to refer to 'parks' visits.

× I would say that yes, I would like to have sea parks and I see a lot of more parks in here in Davao City since it's very necessary and it helps making child feel happy.

✓ Yes, I would like to have seaside parks and see many more parks here in Davao City since they are necessary and they help make children happy.

Incorrect prepositions and phrasing: 'sea parks' is unnatural; use 'seaside parks'. 'a lot of more' should be 'many more' and 'in here' should be 'here'. 'helps making child feel happy' should be 'help make children happy' for correct verb pattern and plural noun.

× I think the parts that I would go to in the future is that the digital here in Dallas City, I've never been to that park before, but I would love to if I've given a chance to go there right now.

✓ I think the park I would like to visit in the future is the digital park here in Dallas City. I've never been there before, but I would love to go if I were given the chance.

The sentence has multiple structural problems and incorrect word choices ('parts' instead of 'park', 'is that the digital', tense and conditional errors). Break into two sentences, use 'park' not 'parts', correct to 'there' for place, and use the conditional 'if I were given the chance' for hypothetical situations.