Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more grammatical and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), correct tense and plurality (after school, would take me), and add one specific supporting detail. Keep to a maximum of about 3–4 sentences.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My parents often took me there after school to help me relax and play, especially on weekends when I could run and play on the swings. Those visits helped me feel refreshed for the week ahead.

Suggestion: Use correct verb forms and more natural vocabulary. Remove fillers and avoid repeating similar words (joy and happiness). Use one linking phrase to add a specific reason or example.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often walk there to see the greenery and watch children play, which relaxes me after work. For example, a short walk in the park helps me clear my mind and feel more energetic.

Suggestion: Correct vocabulary (parks, not perks) and grammar (plural forms, complete sentences). Avoid trailing off—finish your thought. Use linking words (because, furthermore) and give a specific effect or example of benefits of parks. Keep to 3–4 sentences total.

Example: Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city because currently there are only one or two and they are quite far from my home. More local parks would allow residents to walk or exercise easily after work. Furthermore, additional green spaces would improve air quality and provide places for families to meet.

Suggestion: Remove filler words and tighten sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons why you want to visit (features you expect) and a brief plan or time reference to make it concrete.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit Jesus Green in Cambridge. I have heard it has pleasant riverside paths and open lawns perfect for picnics, so I plan to go there next month for a relaxing afternoon walk.

× I love to go to parks after schools.

✓ I loved going to parks after school.

The student used 'after schools' which is incorrect quantifier/number and collocation. 'School' as a period of the day is uncountable in this context and should be singular. Also tense fits past habit so use past simple 'loved going' or 'used to go'. Suggestion: say 'I loved going to parks after school' or 'I used to go to parks after school.'

× My parents would take me, umm, especially to make me relax and unwind.

✓ My parents would take me, especially to help me relax and unwind.

The phrase 'to make me relax' is awkward; 'help me relax' or 'let me relax' is the correct collocation. Use 'help' with the base form 'relax'. Also remove filler 'umm' in formal answer.

× I prefer still walking around parks just to umm like seeing the greeneries and also children playing around.

✓ I still prefer walking around parks just to see the greenery and watch children playing.

Problems: word order ('prefer still' should be 'still prefer'), incorrect verb form 'seeing' after 'to' (use base verb 'see'), and 'greeneries' is incorrect plural of 'greenery' which is uncountable. 'Watching children playing' is clearer than 'like seeing ... playing around.' Remove filler 'umm like.'

× It really give me joy and happiness.

✓ It really gives me joy and happiness.

Subject 'It' requires third person singular verb form 'gives' not 'give'. Ensure subject-verb agreement in present tense statements.

× Yes, I would love to see more perks in my city because we don't really have many at the moment.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city because we don't really have many at the moment.

The student wrote 'perks' instead of 'parks' — this is a wrong word choice rather than quantifier, but within list it fits as usage error. Correct word is 'parks'. 'Many' is fine with plural 'parks.'

× There are only one or two and they're quite far from where I live.

✓ There are only one or two of them and they're quite far from where I live.

When using 'there are' with 'one or two' it's better to add 'of them' for clarity, though 'There are only one or two' is informal; more natural: 'There are only one or two parks, and they're quite far...' Ensure noun 'parks' appears if omitted.

× And I think having more green spaces would also make.

✓ And I think having more green spaces would also make the city more pleasant.

The sentence is incomplete ('would also make' needs an object/complement). Provide a clear object like 'the city more pleasant' or 'people happier.' Complete the thought to form a grammatical sentence.

× I would like to visit Jesus Green because it's one of the most popular parks in Cambridge where I live at the moment.

✓ I would like to visit Jesus Green because it's one of the most popular parks in Cambridge, where I live at the moment.

Add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'where I live at the moment.' Also 'live at the moment' is redundant; better: 'where I live' or 'where I live at the moment.' This fixes punctuation and clause usage.

× I have heard it's a lovely place to relax, have a picnic and go for a walk.

✓ I've heard it's a lovely place to relax, have a picnic, and go for a walk.

Grammar is mostly correct, but add commas in a list for clarity (Oxford comma optional). 'I have heard' is present perfect appropriate for past experiences affecting present.

× I haven't had the chance to visit it yet, but I would definitely like to go in the future.

✓ I haven't had the chance to visit it yet, but I would definitely like to go in the future.

Sentence is grammatically correct. Keep present perfect 'haven't had' to indicate lack of experience up to now and 'would like to' for future desire. No change needed.