Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be clear about tense and avoid hesitation sounds. Start with a direct topic sentence related to childhood, use past tense consistently, reduce fillers (umm, uh) and unnecessary detail. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences and include a specific supporting reason or brief example.

Example: When I was a child, I didn’t enjoy going to parks because my father often made me draw trees in my notebook, which I found boring. I preferred playing with friends at home instead.

Suggestion: Good clear answer and personal detail. Improve by removing filler words and tightening sentences. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and be specific about activities you do. Keep within 3–4 sentences maximum.

Example: Yes, I do. I like going to parks with my husband because we can relax after work and talk about our day. For example, we often sit on a bench and walk along the pond while discussing challenges from work.

Suggestion: Answer is relevant and shows opinion. Improve grammar (plural/singular), reduce repetition, and use linking words to explain benefits clearly. Provide one or two specific benefits or examples to make it more convincing.

Example: Yes, I would. It would be great if small green areas were spread throughout the city because they would encourage people to exercise and meet friends. For instance, a small park near my office would make it easier for colleagues to take a short walk at lunch.

Suggestion: Clarify that Disneyland is an amusement park and avoid vague phrases like "interesting stuffs." Remove fillers and repeat ideas less. Provide specific reasons or examples of attractions you want to try and keep answer within 3 sentences.

Example: Yes. I would love to visit Disneyland with my husband because it has many attractions I enjoy. For example, I want to try the roller coasters and themed shows because they look exciting and memorable.

× To be honest with you, umm, I dislike going to park uh, because my father, uh, was retired recently and he took me to the park and forced me to draw trees on uh in my notebook and uh, it was boring for me.

✓ To be honest with you, I disliked going to parks when I was a child because my father had recently retired and he used to take me to the park and force me to draw trees in my notebook, which I found boring.

Issues corrected: 'dislike going to park' has singular/plural and article problems (should be 'parks' or 'the park' depending on meaning) — classified as present participle context and plural/article errors; adjusted tense to past ('disliked') to match 'as a child' question; 'was retired recently' is awkward — use past perfect 'had recently retired' to show prior action; 'took me' and 'forced me to draw' are fine but 'on in my notebook' has incorrect preposition — use 'in my notebook'; combined clauses and changed 'it was boring for me' to 'which I found boring' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: match tense to time reference, use correct prepositions (in), and use articles/plural nouns appropriately.

× Yes, definitely. Uh, I'd like to go to parks with my husband, uh, because, umm, we have some great, uh, times there. After work, sometimes we go and umm, relax, uh, or sometimes we talk about, uh, what challenges we had on the workplace.

✓ Yes, definitely. I'd like to go to parks with my husband because we have great times there. After work, sometimes we go to relax or talk about the challenges we have at work.

Problems: unnecessary contractions and filler removed for clarity; 'what challenges we had on the workplace' mixes past tense with present context and uses incorrect preposition ('on the workplace'). Corrected to present tense 'have' to match ongoing habit and 'at work' as the correct preposition. Suggestion: use present tense for habitual actions and use 'at work' not 'on the workplace'.

× Sure. Uh, I think it would be great if a mini green areas, umm, were everywhere and we were surrounded with them.

✓ Sure. I think it would be great if mini green areas were everywhere and we were surrounded by them.

Issues: 'a mini green areas' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'areas' and awkward adjective order. Removed article and corrected adjective order to 'mini green areas'. Also changed preposition 'surrounded with' to correct 'surrounded by'. Suggestion: match articles to singular/plural nouns and use 'surrounded by'.

× Umm, people in it encouraged, uh, encouraged people to come there and do exercise or have fun with, uh, their friends or gather together.

✓ I think these parks would encourage people to come, exercise, have fun with friends, or gather together.

Problems: redundant phrase 'encouraged, encouraged people', unclear subject 'people in it', and awkward verb forms ('do exercise'). Rewrote sentence for clarity: use present conditional 'would encourage' and simpler verbs: 'exercise', 'have fun', 'gather together'. Suggestion: avoid redundancy and ensure clear subject and parallel verb forms.

× Actually, I have a short list of interesting stuffs that I like to do.

✓ Actually, I have a short list of interesting things that I would like to do.

Issue: 'stuffs' is nonstandard; use plural 'things'. Also 'I like to do' changed to 'I would like to do' to match future intention. Suggestion: use 'things' instead of 'stuffs' and choose appropriate modal verbs for intent.

× For example, I like to go to Disneyland with my husband. Uh, I think it is for, uh, full of attractions that I like to experience.

✓ For example, I would like to go to Disneyland with my husband. I think it is full of attractions that I would like to experience.

Problems: 'it is for, uh, full of attractions' contains extraneous word 'for' and inconsistent tense. Replaced with 'it is full of attractions' and adjusted to 'would like to' for future intention. Suggestion: remove unnecessary words and match modal/use of 'would like' for desires about the future.

× For instance, umm, I like to experience and try roller coaster and uh, I think it would be fun.

✓ For instance, I would like to try roller coasters; I think that would be fun.

Issues: parallelism and noun form: 'try roller coaster' should be 'try roller coasters' or 'try a roller coaster'; 'I like to experience and try' is redundant and mixes tenses; changed to 'would like to' for future desire and pluralized 'roller coasters'. Suggestion: use parallel verbs and correct noun forms (plural or countable with article), and use 'would like to' for future plans.