Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more fluent and concise: begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and repetition, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words (for example, because/so) to connect ideas. Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences.

Example: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because they were where I played games with my friends and rode my bike. For example, I remember spending summer afternoons at the neighborhood park, learning to climb the jungle gym and having picnics with my family.

Suggestion: Improve clarity and remove filler words. Start with a direct statement, then briefly explain with one specific example of your current interest or activity. Use linking words like because or as to make your point logical.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. In fact, I am researching how urban parks affect public health at university, so I often visit parks to observe how people exercise and relax, which helps my studies.

Suggestion: Be specific and finish your thought. Start with a clear opinion, then give two concrete benefits connected with linking words. Avoid repetition like “such as such as” and conclude briefly.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe places for people to exercise and for children to play. Also, new parks could improve air quality and create community spaces for events and relaxation.

Suggestion: Give a concise direct answer, correct vocabulary (e.g., “national park”), and provide a specific reason and one detail about what you would do or see there. Use linking words like because or for example.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit a national park in Japan because they protect natural landscapes such as mountains and coastal areas. For example, I hope to hike scenic trails, see native wildlife, and take photographs of the coastline.

× Yes, I really like going to parks as a child and that's because, umm, I, I can play with a child, enjoy every and and and, uh, I, I can remember when I was I'm my childhood episode with playing with a child, so I like going to.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks as a child because I could play with other children and I remember episodes from my childhood when I played in parks, so I enjoyed going there.

The student mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. The question asks about past habit ('as a child'), so past tense (liked, could, remembered, played, enjoyed) should be used. Also plural 'children' is needed instead of 'a child' to indicate other kids. Remove filler words and repeatings and reorder for clarity. Suggestion: use past simple for past routines and plural for general groups.

× Yes, I, I still like going to parks now. Uh, actually I'm, I'm researching about the, about how, how parks influence the health of people in the city in the university. So, uh, I, I recognize the efficiency of parks in the city.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now. Actually, I'm researching how parks influence the health of people in the city at the university, so I recognize the benefits of parks in the city.

The student uses present continuous correctly for current research but has awkward preposition and word choice: 'researching about' should be 'researching' or 'doing research on/about' and 'in the university' should be 'at the university'. 'Efficiency' is not the right noun; 'benefits' is more natural. Keep present continuous for ongoing actions.

× Yes, I really want to see more parks in my city just because there are a lot of benefits of parks in the urban area such as such as giving people more places to play sports or exercise so I.

✓ Yes, I really want to see more parks in my city because there are many benefits of parks in urban areas, such as giving people more places to play sports or exercise.

Problems: 'in the urban area' should be 'in urban areas' (preposition and count/number agreement). Repetition 'such as such as' removed. 'A lot of' can be replaced with 'many' for countable 'benefits'. Sentence was incomplete at the end; remove trailing fragment. Maintain present tense for general statements.

× Yes, the bags I want to go to in the future is the National Park.

✓ Yes, the places I want to go to in the future are the national parks.

'Bags' is incorrect word and likely meant 'places'; 'the National Park' singular vs plural depends on meaning. If referring to national parks in general, use plural 'national parks' and plural verb 'are'. Ensure noun and verb agree in number.

× In Japan, the national parks is the parks to to form in order to preserve the nature like mountains or seas.

✓ In Japan, national parks are established to preserve nature, such as mountains and seas.

Errors: unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'national parks' and before 'nature'; use 'national parks' without 'the' when speaking generally. 'Is' should be 'are' to match plural. 'To to form' is duplication; better 'established' or 'formed'. 'Preserve the nature' should be 'preserve nature'. Use 'such as mountains and seas' for examples. Keep present simple for general facts.

× So I like the nature very much. That's because so I want to go to the National Park.

✓ I like nature very much, so I want to visit a national park.

Use 'like nature' not 'the nature' when speaking generally (article error). 'That's because so' is redundant; combine into one clause. Use 'visit a national park' for future desire—'want to visit' is appropriate. Maintain consistent present simple for general liking and 'want' for desire.