Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and word choices, and avoid filler phrases. Add one specific detail and a linking phrase. For example, say you played particular games and how they made you feel.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were places where I could burn off my energy. For example, I often played hide-and-seek and raced my cousins on the grass, which made me feel happy and carefree.

Suggestion: Improve grammar and sentence structure: use present simple, correct tense and articles, and avoid redundancy. Use a linking word to connect ideas and give one specific example of what you do in parks now.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because seeing greenery makes me feel calm and relaxed. For example, when I visited Japan I often walked along the park paths and watched people jogging, which inspired me to exercise more.

Suggestion: Be more precise and use formal expressions: give a clear main reason, then a specific supporting detail with a linking word. Correct grammar (plural/singular, verb forms) and avoid vague phrases like 'a lot of people.'

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space to relax and exercise after a busy workday. For example, small neighbourhood parks would encourage residents to put away their phones and go for a short run or join outdoor fitness classes, improving public health.

Suggestion: Organize your answer: state the park clearly, explain why with specific reasons, and avoid hesitations and repetition. Use correct nouns and clear comparisons. Mention one concrete activity you would do there.

Example: I would love to visit Central Park in New York because I admire the city's museums and art scene. For instance, I imagine walking through the park's paths, sketching the landscape near the lake, and visiting nearby galleries afterwards.

× Of course I loved going to a park when I was a child because it is a place that I can burst off all my energy like you know, kids energy, right?

✓ Of course I loved going to parks when I was a child because they were places where I could release all my energy, like you know, kid energy.

Tense consistency and plural/singular: The sentence mixes past ('loved') with present ('is', 'can') and uses singular 'a park' then general 'kids energy'. Use past tense for descriptions of childhood (were, could) and plural 'parks' or plural pronoun 'they' to match general reference. Also use 'release' rather than 'burst off' and 'kid energy' as a fixed expression. Suggestion: keep verbs in past when talking about habitual past actions and make nouns/pronouns agree in number.

× And for example, I usually paid hide and seek and run around with my cousins, which was really fun.

✓ For example, I usually played hide-and-seek and ran around with my cousins, which was really fun.

Wrong verb choice and tense: 'paid' is incorrect; the correct past form is 'played'. Sequence of past actions needs past tense for both verbs: 'played' and 'ran'. Also 'hide-and-seek' is the standard noun form. Suggestion: use correct verb and past tense for habitual past activities.

× I still enjoy going to parks because it's also made me feel calm and relaxed to see green color and saw a lot of people doing activity that relate to that health like running which make me feel good and for example when I go to Japan I still going to a park.

✓ I still enjoy going to parks because they also make me feel calm and relaxed when I see greenery and many people doing activities related to health, like running, which makes me feel good. For example, when I go to Japan I still go to parks.

Tense and agreement errors: Mixed present perfect ('it's also made me') with present simple; incorrect verb forms ('saw', 'doing activity that relate', 'make', 'still going'). Use present simple for general statements: 'parks make', 'see', 'people doing activities related to health', 'which makes'. For the example, use present simple 'I still go'. Also use 'greenery' or 'green spaces' rather than 'green color'. Suggestion: keep consistent present tense and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because you can go there to relax and unwind from a busy work day or you can exercise there.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because people can go there to relax and unwind after a busy workday or exercise.

Pronoun reference and word choice: Using 'you' is informal and shifts perspective; better to use 'people' for general statements. 'From a busy work day' is better as 'after a busy workday'. Suggestion: use consistent impersonal subjects for general claims and correct compound noun 'workday'.

× A lot of people need time to get out their phone and do the actual activity that improve your health.

✓ A lot of people need time to put away their phones and do actual activities that improve their health.

Pronoun and verb agreement: 'get out their phone' is awkward; 'put away their phones' is correct. 'Activity' should be plural 'activities' to match 'a lot of people' and verb 'improve' must agree with plural subject, and pronoun consistency: use 'their health' not 'your health'. Suggestion: keep pronouns consistent and match singular/plural across subjects and verbs.

× I really, really want to go to Central Park in New York, which is one of my favorite city.

✓ I really, really want to go to Central Park in New York, which is in one of my favorite cities.

Adjective/noun agreement and preposition: 'one of my favorite city' is incorrect; it should be 'one of my favorite cities'. Also clarify 'Central Park in New York, which is in one of my favorite cities' or better 'New York is one of my favorite cities'. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches 'one of' construction.

× Umm, I would say it is a dream city of mine because I am a art kid and I would like to go there and I also enjoy park and Singapore is like a very, very big park.

✓ Um, I would say New York is a dream city of mine because I am an art kid and I would like to go there. I also enjoy parks, and Singapore feels like a very, very large park.

Run-on sentence and article errors: The original is a run-on with unclear subjects. 'a art kid' should be 'an art kid'. 'enjoy park' needs plural or article: 'enjoy parks'. Split into two sentences for clarity and use 'feels like' for comparison. Suggestion: avoid run-ons, use correct articles 'a' vs 'an', and ensure noun number.

× I would want to stay in there all.

✓ I would want to stay there forever.

Article and expression: 'stay in there all' is ungrammatical. 'Stay there' is correct; 'all' is unclear—use 'forever' or 'for a long time'. Remove unnecessary preposition 'in'. Suggestion: use common time expressions and omit redundant words.'