Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid filler words (umm). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (what you did, who you were with). Limit to no more than 3–4 short sentences and correct minor grammar (equipment is uncountable).

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child, especially with my classmates after school. We spent time chatting and playing on the equipment, such as swings and slides. Those visits were a great way to relax and bond with friends.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect reasons. Replace repetition (“I like”) with varied vocabulary and correct grammar (equipment). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and add a brief specific example of what you observe or how walking benefits you.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks nowadays. I usually walk for exercise and also watch people playing sports, like football or tai chi, which I find relaxing. Going to the park helps me unwind after a busy day.

Suggestion: Start with a direct answer and then give one clear, specific reason using linking words (for example, because/so). Avoid hesitations (UMM) and awkward pronouns (your kid). Use concise phrasing and correct occasional redundancy.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because they provide shared spaces for people of all ages. For example, grandparents can bring their grandchildren to play while meeting friends and keeping an eye on them, which strengthens community ties.

Suggestion: Begin with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect ideas (but/ however). Be more specific about why you want to visit a particular park (which rides or attractions). Avoid redundant phrases and minor grammar issues (the Universal Studios Singapore).

Example: I don't have a particular local park in mind, but I would love to visit a theme park in the future. For instance, Universal Studios Singapore appeals to me because of its roller coasters and themed shows, and I hope to visit it someday.

× We also umm, played on different equipments and.

✓ We also played on different pieces of equipment.

'Equipments' is incorrect because 'equipment' is an uncountable noun in English and does not take a plural -s. Use 'pieces of equipment' or 'equipment' instead. Also remove filler words and the trailing 'and' to complete the sentence. Suggestion: say 'We also played on different pieces of equipment.'

× Yes, I enjoy going to parks, even to this date.

✓ Yes, I enjoy going to parks even to this day.

'Even to this date' is unnatural in this context; the correct idiom is 'even to this day.' Use present simple 'enjoy' to match ongoing habit. Suggestion: use set phrase 'to this day'.

× However, I don't play on any of the equipments anymore.

✓ However, I don't play on any of the pieces of equipment anymore.

Same issue: 'equipments' is incorrect; 'equipment' is uncountable. Use 'pieces of equipment' or 'any of the equipment' and keep the negative present simple 'don't play' to express current habit.

× I like going to parks because I like walking around and I also like observing others playing different sports in the park.

✓ I like going to parks because I enjoy walking around and observing others playing different sports in the park.

Repeated 'I like' is stylistically weak; not a strict grammar error but can be improved. 'Enjoy' is more natural and combines actions with 'and' without repeating the subject. Keep preposition 'in' for 'in the park.' Suggestion: combine verbs to avoid repetition.

× Yes, I definitely like to see more parks in the city.

✓ Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in the city.

The modal sense of desire about the future or change is more naturally expressed using 'would like.' Using present simple 'like to see' is possible but sounds odd here. Suggestion: use 'would like' to express preference or desire.

× I think this is because it gives UMM a purpose for people of different age groups to hang out in the same place.

✓ I think this is because it would give people of different age groups a place to spend time together.

The original contains filler 'UMM' and awkward structure 'gives a purpose for people ... to hang out.' Rephrase to 'give people ... a place to spend time together' for clarity and correct collocation. Use conditional 'would give' to match 'would like' desire.

× For example, if a grandparent wants to hang out with your kid, they could also UMM go to the park because they also get to meet their friends and also supervise their grandchild playing with their friends.

✓ For example, if a grandparent wants to hang out with their grandchild, they could also go to the park because they can meet their friends and supervise the child playing.

The sentence mixes second person 'your kid' with third person 'they,' creating pronoun inconsistency. Replace with consistent third-person references: 'their grandchild.' Remove filler 'UMM' and repetitive 'also.' Simplify 'get to meet' to 'meet' and avoid repeating 'their friends' twice. Suggestion: keep pronouns consistent and concise.

× Moreover, the Universal Theme Park which is in Singapore as is widely known for a lot of activities.

✓ Moreover, Universal Studios Singapore is widely known for many activities.

The original has awkward article use and structure: 'the Universal Theme Park which is in Singapore as is widely known for a lot of activities.' Use the correct name 'Universal Studios Singapore' (no 'the' needed depending on phrasing) and 'many activities' is more natural than 'a lot of activities.' Also remove unnecessary relative clause 'which is in Singapore.' Suggestion: use the proper proper noun and concise phrasing.

× I surely hope to see it someday.

✓ I hope to visit it someday.

'Surely hope' is redundant; 'hope' alone suffices. 'See it' is less precise for a theme park; 'visit it' is better. Use simple present 'hope' to express future desire. Suggestion: say 'I hope to visit it someday.'