Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Pronunciation and grammar need correction and answers should be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and articles, remove fillers (uh), and avoid repetition. Add one specific supporting detail using a linking word.

Example: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. However, there were no parks in my neighborhood, so I had to travel about 30 minutes to reach the nearest one. Because of that, I usually went there on weekends to play and walk with my friends.

Suggestion: Good content and structure; keep answers natural and avoid minor redundancy. Use a clear topic sentence, then link reasons with a cohesive connector. Be slightly more specific about activities or feelings to improve score.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks, especially large, tree-filled ones because they feel peaceful and refreshing. Since the nearest park is about an hour away, I usually go there on weekends to relax and take long walks.

Suggestion: Avoid repetition and improve cohesion. Start with a topic sentence, give two clear reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' and 'so'), and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'green spaces' instead of repeated 'parks').

Example: Yes, I would love to see more parks and green spaces in Jakarta because they would improve the city's appearance and help reduce air pollution from heavy traffic. Consequently, more parks would encourage people to walk and be healthier.

Suggestion: Grammar, geography names and coherence need fixing. Begin with a direct topic sentence, correct country and place names (Switzerland, Europe), and avoid contradictory or unclear statements ("I can't hear the birds"). Provide one clear future intention and a reason with linking words.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit famous parks abroad, especially in Switzerland because of their beautiful landscapes. For example, I would love to return to New York's Central Park because it was a memorable experience and offers wide open spaces for relaxing walks.

× I like to went to the park when I was a child, but since in my neighborhood there was no part, it was so hard to find a park uh in my neighborhood.

✓ I liked going to the park when I was a child, but because there were no parks in my neighborhood, it was hard to find one.

The student used present 'like' with past action and incorrect verb form 'went'. Use past tense 'liked' to match 'when I was a child' and use 'going' or 'to go' rather than 'to went'. Also 'part' is a misspelling of 'park' and singular/plural agreement requires 'parks' for 'there were no parks'. Simplify to avoid repetition. Suggestions: change 'I like to went' to 'I liked going' and use 'there were no parks'.

× So I need to travel for around 30 minutes to a park that's close to my house to play and walk in the park.

✓ So I needed to travel about 30 minutes to a park near my house to play and walk.

The sentence mixes past narrative with present 'need'. Because the speaker described childhood, use past 'needed'. Also streamline 'to a park that's close to my house' to 'to a park near my house' and avoid repeating 'in the park'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense when describing past habits.

× Yes, I still enjoy going to the parks, especially large ones with plenty of trees because I find them peaceful and refreshing.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially large ones with plenty of trees, because I find them peaceful and refreshing.

Using 'the parks' suggests specific parks; general preference uses plural without 'the': 'going to parks'. Also add a comma before 'because' for clarity. Ensure article use fits intended meaning. Suggestion: remove 'the' for general statements.

× Unfortunately there aren't many parks near my house so the nearest park is about an hour away, but I try to visit it on weekends to relax and go for a long walk.

✓ Unfortunately, there aren't many parks near my house, so the nearest one is about an hour away, but I try to visit it on weekends to relax and take a long walk.

Sentence is mostly correct but 'the nearest park' is acceptable; however 'the nearest one' avoids repetition. 'Go for a long walk' is okay but 'take a long walk' is more natural here. Add comma after 'Unfortunately'. Suggestion: use 'nearest one' to avoid repetition and add punctuation.

× Yes, I would love to see more parks in Jakarta.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in Jakarta.

This sentence is grammatically correct and matches the conditional/future preference 'would love to'. No change needed. Suggestion: none.

× The city will be more beautiful, but more parks, trees, plants, greeneries and more parks will solve the air pollution problems in Jakarta because there are so many vehicles, and it will help people to walk more and be healthier.

✓ The city would be more beautiful; more parks, trees and plants would help reduce air pollution in Jakarta because there are so many vehicles, and they would encourage people to walk more and be healthier.

Repetition ('more parks' twice) and awkward phrasing 'greeneries' (nonstandard) create problems. Use 'would' to match the hypothetical tone 'I would love' and to show potential effect. Replace 'solve the air pollution problems' with 'help reduce air pollution' because parks alone cannot fully solve it. Use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to parks, trees and plants. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use 'would' for hypothetical results, and use standard nouns like 'greenery' or 'plants'.

× Yes, I would love to visit parks in other countries.

✓ Yes, I would love to visit parks in other countries.

This sentence is correct: 'would love' expresses future desire politely. No change needed. Suggestion: none.

× I know Swiss, they have so many parks, especially parks in the Europe.

✓ I know Switzerland; it has many parks, especially parks in Europe.

'Swiss' is an adjective or demonym, not the country name. Use 'Switzerland'. Use singular pronoun 'it' for the country. 'the Europe' is incorrect; use 'Europe' without 'the'. Suggestion: replace 'Swiss' with 'Switzerland' and use 'it' and 'Europe'.

× And also I went to Central Park, it gave me a very beautiful experience and I would like to go there again because the park is very big.

✓ I also went to Central Park; it gave me a wonderful experience and I would like to go there again because the park is very big.

Comma splice between independent clauses should be fixed with a semicolon or period. 'Very beautiful experience' is awkward; 'wonderful experience' is more natural. Tense 'went' is correct for past visit. Maintain 'would like' for desire to revisit. Suggestion: separate clauses properly and choose natural adjective collocations.

× I can't hear the birds.

✓ I could hear the birds.

Context describes past visit to a large park; saying 'I can't hear the birds' (present inability) contradicts that. Likely intended 'I could hear the birds' to describe past experience. Change tense to past to match preceding sentence. Suggestion: use past tense 'could hear' when describing past experiences.