Travelling— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce redundancy (e.g., avoid repeating travel reasons) and use correct collocation and grammar (e.g., 'travel for the thrill' or 'travel is thrilling').

Example: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching changing landscapes, such as countryside farms and city streets, because it helps me relax and learn about the region I’m passing through.

Suggestion: Answer more directly and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement and informal contractions). Limit to one topic sentence plus specific detail about when or what you photograph. Use linking words to improve coherence (e.g., 'so', 'because', 'for example').

Example: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because unusual views remind me of each place. For example, I photograph coastal cliffs and small villages so I can look back at them later and remember the trip.

Suggestion: Be careful with word choice (mall → maybe meant 'both' or 'mountains') and avoid vague phrases like 'different vibe' without elaboration. Start with a direct preference sentence, give two concrete reasons, and include a brief personal example. Watch for casual spoken fillers and informal contractions.

Example: I prefer the sea to the mountains because it’s more relaxing and I enjoy swimming. For example, back home in the Philippines we have many beaches with clear blue water and white sand, and I love spending evenings walking along the shore.

× Traveling is a different experience for thrill, and when I travel either by bus or by car, I usually like to gaze out, watch my surroundings.

✓ Traveling is a different experience for thrill, and when I travel either by bus or by car, I usually like to gaze out and watch my surroundings.

The original sentence lists two verbs 'gaze out' and 'watch' that are coordinated without a conjunction. When joining two verbs in the same clause, a coordinating conjunction like 'and' is required. Add 'and' to connect the verb phrases correctly. Also keep both verbs in base form after 'like to'.

× I admire the beautiful landscapes through the window.

✓ I admire the beautiful landscapes outside the window.

The prepositional phrase 'through the window' is not the best collocation for perceiving landscapes while traveling; 'outside the window' is clearer. This is a sentence structure/word choice improvement to make the meaning natural and precise.

× Umm, different sceneries and landscapes is one of the main reasons why I love to travel.

✓ Umm, different scenery and landscapes are one of the main reasons why I love to travel.

The subject is compound/plural, so the verb should be plural 'are' instead of 'is'. Also 'scenery' is usually uncountable, so use singular 'scenery' rather than 'sceneries'.

× It gives me a different view of nature and that's why I like to snap a shot 'cause it keeps in my memories a keepsake for me when I travel to different places.

✓ It gives me a different view of nature, and that's why I like to snap a shot, because it keeps a keepsake in my memories when I travel to different places.

This sentence has awkward word order and informal contraction placement. Replace the colloquial ''cause' with 'because', place 'keeps a keepsake' before 'in my memories', and reorder phrases for clarity. Also add a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses.

× I like both landscapes but I prefer the mall.

✓ I like both landscapes, but I prefer the mountains.

The student likely intended 'mountains' not 'mall'. This is a word choice error creating a sentence structure/meaning problem. Also include a comma before 'but' joining independent clauses.

× I prefer the sea the most cause for me it's more relaxing.

✓ I prefer the sea the most because, for me, it's more relaxing.

Use the conjunction 'because' rather than the informal 'cause' in formal speech. Also add commas to set off the parenthetical 'for me' for clarity.

× Like back home in the Philippines we're surrounded with different beautiful seas with blue oceans and white sand beaches.

✓ Back home in the Philippines, we're surrounded by many beautiful seas with blue water and white sand beaches.

Use 'surrounded by' instead of 'surrounded with'. 'Different beautiful seas' is awkward; use 'many beautiful seas' or 'various beautiful seas'. Also 'blue oceans' is redundant when paired with 'seas'—'blue water' is more natural. Add a comma after the introductory phrase.