Building— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm, uh), correct grammar (e.g., "the rural area" → "a rural area"), and use a linking phrase to contrast rural and urban areas. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Example: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home because I live in a rural area where most houses are single-storey. However, when I visit the city I usually see many tall buildings, which look very different from my neighbourhood.

Suggestion: Use more precise vocabulary and correct word choices, remove fillers, and link ideas clearly. Explain reasons with specific examples and avoid vague phrases like "trap trip" and "shelling." Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I often photograph buildings when I travel to other cities because photos help me remember the places I visited. I also share these pictures with friends on social media to start conversations and get their opinions.

Suggestion: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct verb forms and avoid irrelevant or confusing details. Explain why the building is appealing with specific reasons (e.g., view, history). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid fillers.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit Tokyo Tower again. I have been there more than ten times since childhood and I enjoy the panoramic views from the observation deck and the tower's historic charm.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence, use correct grammar and sentence structure, and provide a specific reason with a linking word. Remove fillers and repetition. Mention one or two concrete concerns (e.g., safety in earthquakes, evacuation).

Example: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building because I grew up in a single-storey house and I worry about safety during earthquakes. Evacuating from a high floor would feel stressful compared with living on the ground level.

× all of the houses are flat and but when I visit the cities are you usually see the tall buildings.

✓ All of the houses are single-storey, but when I visit the cities I usually see tall buildings.

The original sentence mixed plural/singular forms and had word order problems. 'Houses are flat' is unnatural; 'single-storey' describes houses. 'When I visit the cities are you usually see' has incorrect word order and an extra 'are you'. Correct subject-verb order is 'I usually see tall buildings.' Keep plural 'buildings' to match 'tall buildings' in cities.

× This is because it can help me remember the trap trip and also the places.

✓ This is because it helps me remember the trip and the places.

The modal 'can' is not necessary; present simple 'helps' is more natural for habitual/general truth. 'Trap trip' is likely a mistake for 'trip.' Remove redundant 'also' before 'the places' and use parallel structure 'remember the trip and the places.'

× And by shelling these photos, umm I can also have the opportunity to talk with my friends.

✓ And by sharing these photos, I can also have the opportunity to talk with my friends.

The word 'shelling' is incorrect; 'sharing' is the correct gerund after 'by.' 'By' + verb-ing is the correct structure to express the means ('by sharing'). Keep present tense 'can' for possibility.

× Yes, I like visit umm Tokyo Tower.

✓ Yes, I'd like to visit Tokyo Tower.

The original lacks the infinitival 'to' after 'like' when expressing a desire in this context. 'I like visit' is ungrammatical. Use 'I'd like to visit' for polite/desirable future action. Alternatively 'I like visiting' would express general enjoyment.

× Umm Tokyo Tower was built when I was in elementary school and I have visited there for over 10 times.

✓ Tokyo Tower was built when I was in elementary school, and I have visited it more than ten times.

'Visited there' is awkward; use 'visited it' or 'been there.' 'For over 10 times' is incorrect; say 'more than ten times.' The present perfect 'have visited' is appropriate for experiences up to now.

× Therefore it's very good price for me to, uh, pray.

✓ Therefore it has special meaning for me.

The original is unclear and contains wrong words: 'good price' and 'pray' are incorrect in context. Likely intended 'special meaning' or 'a good memory.' Replace with a phrase that fits emotional significance. Also remove filler words.

× I don't want to live in a tall building umm because I was raised in a single story house and in addition although my friends live in a tall building I found find it a bit dangerous for me to when I there is an earthquake so.

✓ I don't want to live in a tall building because I was raised in a single-storey house, and although my friends live in tall buildings, I find it a bit dangerous if there is an earthquake.

Multiple tense and structure errors: 'was raised' is past (correct), but 'I found find it' is wrong — use present 'I find it' to state current opinion. 'A tall building' vs plural 'tall buildings' should be consistent; use plural when referring generally. 'To when I there is an earthquake' is mangled; correct structure: 'if there is an earthquake.' Also use commas to separate clauses and 'single-storey' spelling.