Hometown— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Make the answer more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm), correct small grammar issues (use "in Batangas City", "elementary school"), and limit to 3–4 connected sentences. Add one or two specific details to make it vivid.

Example: I come from Batangas City. I was born and raised there by my father's relatives, and I attended elementary school in the same town. I still return whenever I have free time because I enjoy seeing family and familiar places.

Suggestion: Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with a specific example; remove vague phrasing and awkward endings ("welcome me in their"). Use linking words (for example, because, so) to show reason. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

Example: I like that Batangas City feels like one big family. For example, when I visit relatives always express pride in my achievements and warmly welcome me, which makes me feel supported and at home.

Suggestion: Give a direct answer first (number of years or until a certain age), then briefly explain the change. Remove hesitations and repeated words, and use correct tense (I lived there until I was 19; since then I have lived in dorms). Keep it to 2 sentences.

Example: I lived in Batangas City until I was 19. After that I moved into college dorms and later rented accommodation for work, so I haven't been living there full-time since then.

Suggestion: Start with a concise opinion, then give one or two concrete reasons or examples of benefits for young people. Avoid repeating the same phrases; use linking words (because, for example, therefore) to connect ideas. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I think it's a good place for young people because it teaches strong community values and helps you stay connected to your roots. For example, local events and family networks give young people support and opportunities to learn traditions and responsibility.

× 'My hometown is at Batangas City.'

✓ 'My hometown is Batangas City.'

'at' is incorrect with city names; use no preposition or use 'in'. Also 'Batangas City' does not need an article. Use: My hometown is Batangas City.'

× 'It is where I was born and raised with my umm, immediate relatives from my father's side.'

✓ 'It is where I was born and raised with my immediate relatives on my father's side.'

'from my father's side' is less natural than 'on my father's side' to indicate family lineage. Remove filler 'umm' and comma. 'immediate relatives' does not need a comma.'

× 'It is also where I took my elementary, umm, school, and it is where I go home every time that I have time.'

✓ 'It is also where I attended elementary school, and it is where I go home whenever I have time.'

'took my elementary school' is incorrect collocation; use 'attended elementary school'. Remove filler 'umm' and extra comma. Use 'whenever' instead of 'every time that' for natural phrasing.'

× 'Something that I like about my hometown is that I feel that everyone is a whole family.'

✓ 'One thing I like about my hometown is that I feel everyone is like one big family.'

'Something that I like' is wordy; 'one thing I like' is concise. 'a whole family' is unnatural; use 'one big family' or 'like a family'. Remove redundant 'that'.'

× 'Every now and then when I go home, I still feel them being proud of me and then being ready to welcome me in their.'

✓ 'Every now and then when I go home, I still feel them being proud of me and ready to welcome me into their home.'

'being ready to welcome me in their' is ungrammatical. Use 'into their home' to indicate entering. 'then' is unnecessary. Ensure verb phrase 'being proud' aligns with feeling perception.'

× 'That but the city is still my home address but I have continuously lived there UN until my 19th year.'

✓ 'The city is still my permanent address, but I lived there continuously until I was 19.'

'That but' is filler and ungrammatical. 'home address' better as 'permanent address'. Remove stray 'UN'. Use past tense 'lived' and phrase 'until I was 19' for clarity.'

× 'Come my 19th, 19th year I started going to dorms for my college and dorms also when I started working.'

✓ 'When I turned 19, I started living in a dorm for college, and I also lived in a dorm when I started working.'

'Come my 19th' is informal and incorrect; use 'when I turned 19'. 'going to dorms' should be 'living in a dorm' or 'staying in dorms'. Keep tense consistent and remove repetition.'

× 'Having been raised in my hometown, I would say that it is a good place for young people because it will teach you the value of community and the value of looking back at your roots.'

✓ 'Having been raised in my hometown, I would say that it is a good place for young people because it teaches you the value of community and of looking back at your roots.'

Mixing conditional 'would say' with 'will teach you' is inconsistent. Use present simple 'teaches' for general truths. Use 'of looking back' for parallel structure.'

× 'So yes, I would recommend it and I would say that it is good for young people.'

✓ 'So yes, I would recommend it; it is good for young people.'

Redundant phrasing 'I would recommend it and I would say that' is repetitive. Combine clauses and use concise expression.'