Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “I’m currently a student and also working part-time”), correct tense/word choice (explore exploring → exploring; perform my study → doing research), and avoid redundancy. Use one or two supporting details (reason for gap year, job role). Keep to 3–4 sentences and use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’.

Example: I’m currently a student and I also work part-time. I’m taking a gap year to explore my future career options and to work on my dissertation research. At the moment I sell shoes in a small store, which helps me earn money and gain customer-service experience.

Suggestion: Give a concise location and one or two specific details. Avoid repeating phrases (small store, shoe store) and keep emotions controlled. Use linking words like ‘and’ or ‘because’ to join ideas. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Example: I work in a small shoe store in the centre of Taipei. From the shop I can see Taipei 101 every day, which makes the location very pleasant and convenient for me.

Suggestion: Be decisive and give clear reasons. Start with a direct opinion (e.g., “Yes, it is a good place for...”) and support it with specific reasons, using linking words like ‘because’ or ‘however’. Avoid filler words (‘um’, ‘yeah, I don’t know’).

Example: Yes, it’s a good place for people who enjoy meeting customers, because the job involves a lot of interaction and helps improve communication skills. However, it might not suit someone who prefers quiet, solitary work.

Suggestion: Clarify the question briefly if needed, then answer directly. For example, say ‘If you mean the workplace, then yes…’ and give a reason. Avoid disfluencies and aim for one topic sentence plus one supporting detail using linking words like ‘because’.

Example: If you mean the workplace itself, then yes, I like it because the location is central and convenient. Being in the city centre makes it easy to get what I need after work.

Suggestion: Give a structured response: start with your main plan, then add specific steps and reasons. Replace vague fillers with clear phrases (e.g., ‘earn more money’, not ‘neck’). Use linking words like ‘because’, ‘so’, or ‘then’. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Example: I’m not certain yet because I plan to continue my education, but I will take a working holiday in Australia this year. I want to earn more money and gain international experience before deciding on further study or a long-term career.

× I have a gap year.

✓ I am taking a gap year.

The original uses simple present 'have' which is unclear for the ongoing action. Use 'am taking' (present continuous) to show the temporary ongoing situation of a gap year.

× I am explore exploring what I want to do in the future and perform my study for my dissertation and I am working as a shoe seller.

✓ I am exploring what I want to do in the future, working on my dissertation, and working as a shoe seller.

The sentence mixed 'explore' and 'exploring' and had parallel structure issues. Remove the incorrect 'explore', use present participle 'exploring' and make the list parallel: 'exploring..., working..., and working...'. This clarifies simultaneous activities.

× I am working in a small store, shoe store and in Capital One and it's located in the center of Taipei and from my store I can see the Taipei 101 every day, so that's awesome.

✓ I am working in a small shoe store called Capital One. It's located in the center of Taipei, and from my store I can see Taipei 101 every day, which is awesome.

Article and noun phrase issues: use 'a small shoe store' not 'small store, shoe store'. Proper noun 'Capital One' should be integrated. 'the Taipei 101' is unnecessary; use 'Taipei 101'. Also split into two sentences for clarity and correct connectors.

× I would say for some people it probably, it's probably a good place to work if you want to utilize to interact with people, you may like the job and yeah, I don't know.

✓ I would say that for some people it's probably a good place to work: if you want to interact with people, you may enjoy the job.

Problems include redundant phrases, incorrect 'utilize to interact' (wrong verb construction) and poor sentence structure. Use 'interact with people' (verb + with) and 'enjoy' instead of 'like' for fluency. Remove filler words and restructure.

× Honestly, I don't know what it means. Uh, if you mean if I like the place I work the location, I was saying yeah 'cause it's in the city center and I can get what I want.

✓ Honestly, I don't know what you mean. If you mean whether I like the location of my workplace, I would say yes because it's in the city center and I can get what I want.

Pronoun reference: 'what it means' incorrectly refers to the question; use 'what you mean'. Also fix clause 'if I like the place I work the location' to 'whether I like the location of my workplace'. Use 'would say yes' for politeness and clarity.

× I'm not sure yet because I still want to get a higher education and I'm going to Australia for working holiday this year.

✓ I'm not sure yet because I still want to pursue higher education, and I'm going to Australia for a working holiday this year.

Use 'pursue higher education' (more natural collocation) and include the article 'a' before 'working holiday'. Maintain future plan with 'I'm going' (present continuous) which is fine.

× I want to get more, you know, umm, neck more, more money.

✓ I want to earn more money.

The original contains a corrupted phrase 'neck more' and excessive fillers. Use the verb 'earn' with 'more money' as the correct collocation and remove fillers to be concise.

× From my store I can see the Taipei 101 every day, so that's awesome. I like it, it's amazing.

✓ From my store I can see Taipei 101 every day, which is awesome. I like it; it's amazing.

Minor punctuation and article use: 'the Taipei 101' is unnecessary. Also combine sentences more smoothly using 'which' and proper punctuation. The verbs themselves are fine regarding third person singular.