Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and minor grammar errors (e.g., plural forms, verb forms). Use linking words to connect ideas and vary vocabulary (e.g., responsibilities, supervise).

Example: I work as an external auditor and have three yearsʼ experience. I was promoted to senior earlier this year, so I now supervise junior staff and handle more complex audit tasks. Overall, I enjoy my job because it offers good learning opportunities.

Suggestion: Give a direct topic sentence then add one or two specific details; correct small errors and avoid repetition. Replace vague phrasing with specific descriptions (team size, office culture). Use a linking word to connect sentences (for example, ‘also’ or ‘and’).

Example: I work at an accounting firm in central Sydney. There are about 60 to 70 people in our office, and colleagues are friendly and approachable, which makes collaboration easy.

Suggestion: Avoid repetition and incorrect tense. Give one clear reason and support it with a concrete example. Use linking words (because, for example) and correct verb tenses (past for past events).

Example: Yes, it is a good place to work because colleagues are supportive. For example, when I was a junior I could approach seniors with questions and they always explained things patiently.

Suggestion: Be precise and fix word choice errors (e.g., 'place where I work', 'office' not 'phone'). Limit to two or three sentences and remove hesitations. Provide one specific detail that supports your opinion (location, building, facilities).

Example: Yes, I like the place where I work. The office is located in central Sydney, the building and facilities are modern, and the overall working environment is pleasant.

Suggestion: Give a clearer, more decisive response with structured support: state your short-term plan, then a likely option and a reason. Remove fillers and vague phrases like 'like' and 'it's hard to say.' Use linking words (however, therefore) to make logic clear.

Example: I don’t expect to stay in the same role after three years. I plan to explore finance-related roles, possibly in financial analysis or corporate finance, because I want to broaden my technical skills and career prospects.

× including, uh, keep an eye on the junior Staffs.

✓ including, uh, keeping an eye on the junior staff.

After 'including' use the gerund form 'keeping'. 'Staff' as a collective noun is uncountable in this context so use 'staff' not 'Staffs'. Also capitalize only proper nouns.

× keep an eye on the junior Staffs.

✓ keeping an eye on the junior staff.

The plural form 'Staffs' is incorrect here; 'staff' as a collective noun is used without an -s. Use singular collective 'staff' or 'junior staff members' if you want plural countable form.

× I work, I'm currently an external auditor with three years experience and I just got promoted to senior at the beginning of this year, which means I have more responsibilities, including, uh, keep an eye on the junior Staffs.

✓ I work. I'm currently an external auditor with three years' experience, and I was promoted to senior at the beginning of this year, which means I have more responsibilities, including keeping an eye on the junior staff.

Use 'three years' experience' with possessive apostrophe. Use past tense 'was promoted' since promotion happened at a specific time in the past. Replace comma splice with sentence break or conjunction. Use 'including keeping' as explained above.

× And the people in our, uh, form is quite nice.

✓ And the people in our firm are quite nice.

'Form' is a misspelling of 'firm'. Use plural verb 'are' to agree with plural subject 'people'. Avoid unnecessary article 'the' before 'people' unless specific; original is acceptable but 'our firm' is the correct noun.

× And the people in our, uh, form is quite nice.

✓ And the people in our firm are quite nice.

The subject 'people' is plural, so the verb must be plural 'are' not 'is'.

× They're very nice and they're very approachable.

✓ They are very nice and very approachable.

Contractions are acceptable in speech; suggestion removes redundancy 'they're' twice for concision. No grammatical error, minor stylistic improvement.

× It is because our work environment is actually good.

✓ That's because our work environment is actually good.

'It is because' is awkward; 'That's because' is more natural. Tense is fine; this is a stylistic improvement.

× When I was a junior and when I have any questions, I will just go directly to my senior and see always very patient.

✓ When I was a junior and had questions, I would go directly to my senior, and they were always very patient.

Mixing tenses: use past tense 'had' for past state and 'would' or 'went' for repeated past actions. 'See always very patient' is ungrammatical; change to 'they were always very patient'. Use 'they' as gender-neutral singular pronoun for 'senior'.

× When I was a junior and when I have any questions, I will just go directly to my senior and see always very patient.

✓ When I was a junior and had questions, I would go directly to my senior, and they were always very patient.

Replace 'I have' with past 'had' and 'I will just go' with past habitual 'I would go'. 'See always very patient' is incorrect word order; use 'they were always very patient'.

× Yes, I like the place where my work, especially our phone is located in central Sydney, uh, and the building is pretty nice too.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work, especially as our office is located in central Sydney, and the building is quite nice too.

Use 'where I work' not 'where my work'. 'Phone' is wrong word; likely 'office'. Use preposition 'in' vs 'located in central Sydney' is acceptable but 'located in central Sydney' is fine. 'Quite' preferred over 'pretty' in formal register.

× the building is pretty nice too.

✓ the building is quite nice too.

Article use is fine; suggestion changes 'pretty' to 'quite' for formality. No strict grammatical error.

× Umm, to be honest, I don't see myself in the same role, uh, after three years.

✓ To be honest, I don't see myself in the same role after three years.

Remove filler 'umm' and extra commas for clearer sentence structure. Tense and meaning are fine.

× But I haven't decided like which field I should move to.

✓ But I haven't decided which field I should move into.

Remove colloquial filler 'like'. Use 'move into' or 'move to' — 'move into' is more idiomatic for changing fields. Tense 'haven't decided' is present perfect and appropriate.

× I will probably try some uh, finance related roles.

✓ I will probably try some finance-related roles.

Hyphenate 'finance-related'. No -ing issue; cleaned fillers. Gerund not needed. This is stylistic punctuation correction.

× the people in our, uh, form is quite nice.

✓ The people in our firm are quite nice.

Capitalize sentence start and correct spelling 'firm'. 'Quite nice' is acceptable; main issues were spelling and agreement.