Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. 'Neither — I graduated last year and will start a master's in September'), correct verb forms, and avoid filler words. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (e.g. 'So at the moment, I'm using a gap year to...'). Keep it under five sentences.

Example: Neither — I graduated from university last year and I will start a master's degree at the University of South London in September. Currently, I'm using a gap year to develop my hobbies and explore what kind of life suits me, so I can make a better career choice next year.

Suggestion: Make the answer grammatically correct and more specific. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific detail about your role and the brands you support. Avoid repeating 'work' and correct prepositions and verb forms.

Example: I work in the fashion industry in Shanghai as a PR intern. For example, I assist PR campaigns for brands such as Burberry, handling media contact lists and press events.

Suggestion: Give a clear opinion in the first sentence and then explain reasons concisely using linking words. Use present tense and reduce hesitation. Provide one or two specific examples of why it's stressful.

Example: Not really — the job is very demanding and drains my energy. For instance, long hours and constant events mean I often feel exhausted, so I sometimes want to escape the city's hustle and bustle.

Suggestion: Start with a direct statement then support with concise, varied reasons. Avoid repetition and fillers. Use linking words (e.g. 'because' or 'also') and give specific examples of convenience beyond shopping, such as transport or cultural events.

Example: Definitely — living and working in Shanghai has been my dream since childhood because it offers great convenience and cultural life. For example, public transport is efficient and there are many exhibitions and fashion events that inspire me.

Suggestion: Give a clear, grammatically correct plan in one sentence, then add a specific career goal. Remove hesitations and repetitions. Use precise job titles and steps you will take (e.g. complete master's, apply for full-time PR roles).

Example: I plan to finish my master's degree and then look for a full-time PR role in Shanghai's fashion industry. Specifically, I want to work as a PR coordinator for a luxury brand and build experience in media relations and event management.

× Oh, actually neither.

✓ Oh, actually neither.

No grammatical error according to provided list; sentence is acceptable as a short response.

× Umm, I'm just graduated from my undergraduate university last year and now I'm will start my master degree at the University of the South London in September.

✓ I graduated from my undergraduate university last year and now I will start my master's degree at the University of South London in September.

Past tense issue (ID 5) and verb form problems: 'I'm just graduated' incorrectly uses present continuous with a past participle; use simple past 'I graduated'. 'I'm will start' incorrectly mixes 'be' and future auxiliary; use 'I will start'. Also 'master degree' needs possessive form 'master's degree' and the university name 'University of South London' without 'the' or include correct name. Suggestion: use 'I graduated...' and 'I will start my master's degree...'.

× So now I'm just develop my hobbies and uh, make the best use of this gap year.

✓ So now I'm just developing my hobbies and making the best use of this gap year.

Present tense / verb + -ing issue (ID 6 and 8): After 'I'm' (I am) to describe ongoing actions you need present participles (-ing). Use 'developing' and 'making' instead of base forms 'develop' and 'make'.

× Also, I'm exploring a life that really suits me.

✓ Also, I'm exploring a life that really suits me.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change needed. It fits present continuous to describe ongoing process.

× Currently I work in fashion industry in Shanghai and I work for some brands like categories Burberry and I work as internship for PR.

✓ Currently I work in the fashion industry in Shanghai and I work for some brands such as Burberry, and I work as an intern in PR.

Present tense / article and noun form issues (ID 6 and 22 and 11): 'fashion industry' needs the definite article 'the fashion industry'. 'categories Burberry' is incorrect; use 'such as Burberry' or 'brands like Burberry'. 'I work as internship' wrong noun form; use the noun 'intern' for a person or 'as an intern'. Also 'in PR' is acceptable. Suggestion: include articles and correct noun forms.

× Oh well, I don't think so because you know, this job, it requires a lot of my energy and I was just stressed with the job and I feel so tired every day.

✓ Oh well, I don't think so because, you know, this job requires a lot of my energy; I was just stressed by the job and I feel so tired every day.

Present tense and preposition issues (ID 6 and 11): Remove redundant subject 'it' after 'this job'. Use 'stressed by' or 'stressed from' instead of 'stressed with'. Keep tense consistency: 'this job requires' (present) and 'I was just stressed' (past) is acceptable if referring to earlier period; clarify if ongoing use 'I have been stressed'. Suggestion: 'this job requires a lot of my energy; I have been stressed by it and feel tired every day.'

× I just want escape from the hustle and bustle city life.

✓ I just want to escape from the hustle and bustle of city life.

Sentence structure and incorrect use of prepositions/articles (ID 26 and 11 and 22): After 'want' you need the infinitive 'to escape'. Also add the preposition 'of' after 'bustle' to form 'the hustle and bustle of city life'. Include 'the' before 'hustle'.

× Oh, definitely.

✓ Oh, definitely.

No grammatical error; short affirmative response is fine.

× You know, working and living Shanghai is my dream since I was in primary school.

✓ You know, living and working in Shanghai has been my dream since I was in primary school.

Present tense and preposition issues (ID 6 and 11): Order 'living and working' is more natural. Include preposition 'in Shanghai'. Use present perfect 'has been' with 'since' to show a state continuing from past to present, not simple present.

× So now I'm just realized my childhood dreams and Shanghai is my favorite city.

✓ So now I've just realized my childhood dream, and Shanghai is my favorite city.

Past tense issue (ID 5) and pluralization: 'I'm just realized' incorrectly combines 'am' with past participle; use present perfect 'I've just realized'. 'childhood dreams' can be singular 'childhood dream' or plural; 'my childhood dream' is more natural here. Also add comma for clarity.

× You know, living here means, umm, it's really convenient.

✓ You know, living here is really convenient.

Sentence structure issue (ID 26): Remove redundant 'means' and 'it's' combination. Use simple structure 'living here is really convenient.'

× I can shop, uh, I can buy the, I can buy whatever I want.

✓ I can shop; I can buy whatever I want.

Sentence structure issue (ID 26): Remove redundant phrasing 'I can buy the, I can buy'. Simplify to 'I can shop; I can buy whatever I want.'

× Yeah, well, no, I plan to finish my masters degree to get my master degree in then I can start my formal job in Shanghai for fashion industry.

✓ I plan to finish my master's degree, and then I can start a proper job in Shanghai in the fashion industry.

Future tense and article errors (ID 7 and 22): 'masters degree' needs possessive 'master's degree'. Remove redundant 'to get my master degree in'. Use 'and then' to sequence events. Use 'a proper job' or 'a formal job' and include 'the' before 'fashion industry' or 'in the fashion industry'.

× I really want to work as an, uh, winner and towards, uh, this.

✓ I really want to work as a buyer and move towards that goal.

Sentence structure and word choice errors (ID 26): 'winner' seems incorrect in context; likely intended 'buyer' or another role in fashion. 'Work as an buyer' needs article agreement 'a buyer'. 'and towards this' is incomplete; use 'move towards that goal.' Ask student to clarify intended job title. Suggestion: choose correct job title and use clear verb phrase 'move towards that goal.'