Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Cải thiện sự rõ ràng và mạch lạc: trả lời trực tiếp ngắn gọn ở câu đầu (topic sentence), sau đó bổ sung 1-2 câu chi tiết cụ thể. Tránh dùng nhiều tiếng 'umm' và ngắt quãng. Sử dụng thì và cấu trúc câu đúng (ví dụ: 'I have just graduated' → 'I graduated recently').

Example: I recently graduated from the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam. Currently I work part-time as an online freelancer from home, where I handle social media and content tasks.

Suggestion: Làm câu trả lời mạch lạc và chính xác ngữ pháp: bắt đầu bằng một câu trả lời trực tiếp (e.g. 'I work from home'), rồi giải thích ngắn gọn lý do với thông tin cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi động từ (use 'I work', 'I moved').

Example: I work from home because my job is part-time and online. I moved back to my hometown after graduating so it is convenient for me to continue working remotely.

Suggestion: Nâng cao tính mạch lạc và cụ thể: trả lời rõ ràng 'Yes' hoặc 'No' rồi đưa ra 1-2 lý do cụ thể sử dụng linking words (e.g. 'because', 'for example'). Chú ý từ vựng (use 'colleagues' not 'college') và ngữ pháp ('I help others' not 'helps').

Example: Yes, it is a good place to work because the environment is comfortable and flexible. For example, I can easily communicate with my colleagues online and we often collaborate on tasks.

Suggestion: Trả lời trực tiếp và rõ ràng: bắt đầu bằng 'Yes' rồi mô tả ngắn gọn tại sao bạn thích nơi làm việc với ví dụ cụ thể. Sửa lỗi từ và ngữ pháp ('colleagues', 'is' vs 'are', 'approachable' thay vì 'associable'). Giảm tiếng ngập ngừng.

Example: Yes, I like my workplace because my boss and colleagues are friendly and approachable. For instance, they are always willing to answer my questions and support me with tasks.

Suggestion: Trình bày mục tiêu nghề nghiệp rõ ràng và có cấu trúc: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề nêu kế hoạch, rồi giải thích mục tiêu cụ thể và lý do. Tránh câu rời rạc; dùng linking words (e.g. 'because', 'so that') để nêu kết quả mong muốn.

Example: In the future I plan to look for a full-time job in marketing communication because I want to gain more experience. I hope to join a company where I can learn new skills and take on larger projects.

× I have just graduated my university, uh, at the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam and umm, parallel.

✓ I have just graduated from the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam, and at the same time I have a part-time job.

The student used 'graduated my university' which is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'graduated from'. Also the original sentence mixes ideas and lacks clarity. Use present perfect 'have just graduated' to show a recent action and 'at the same time' to express parallel activities. Use 'part-time' with a hyphen and 'job' to complete the idea. Suggestion: say 'I have just graduated from the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam, and at the same time I have a part-time job.'

× I have a part time job and I usually uh, work online at my home, yes.

✓ I have a part-time job and I usually work online from home.

The phrase 'at my home' is awkward; use 'from home' for remote work. 'Part-time' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective. The verb 'work' is correct; improve preposition usage. Suggestion: 'I usually work online from home.'

× Uh, I am work at my home because my uh, work is a part time job and I am work online because umm, I have a holidays when I graduated my university so I move on my hometown to relax.

✓ I work from home because my job is part-time and online. After I graduated, I had holidays so I went back to my hometown to relax.

Multiple issues: 'I am work' is ungrammatical; use simple present 'I work' for habitual action. 'Part time job' needs hyphen. 'I have a holidays when I graduated' mixes tenses and articles; use past simple 'After I graduated, I had holidays' or 'I was on holiday'. 'I move on my hometown' is incorrect verb and preposition; use 'went back to my hometown'. Suggestion: split into two clear sentences: 'I work from home because my job is part-time and online. After I graduated, I had holidays so I went back to my hometown to relax.'

× I yes I feel the environment in my company is very comfortable and convenient.

✓ Yes, I feel that the environment in my company is very comfortable and convenient.

The original begins 'I yes I' which duplicates subject and adverb; use 'Yes, I feel that...' for natural word order. Adding 'that' clarifies the clause. Suggestion: 'Yes, I feel that the environment in my company is very comfortable and convenient.'

× I can connect with many others and college.

✓ I can connect with many others and colleagues.

'College' is the wrong word; 'colleague(s)' refers to coworkers. Also 'connect with many others and colleagues' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'colleagues' to refer to coworkers.

× I always share my work and helps together in work.

✓ I always share my work and help others at work.

'Helps' is the wrong verb form after 'I'; use base form 'help'. 'Together in work' is awkward; use 'help others at work' or 'work together'. Suggestion: 'I always share my work and help others at work.'

× Yes, of course I see that umm, the place where I work are very comfortable, uh, from the boss to uh, my college, umm, many people, umm, people are associable and umm friendly with me.

✓ Yes, of course. I think that the place where I work is very comfortable. From the boss to my colleagues, many people are sociable and friendly with me.

'The place' is singular so use 'is' not 'are' (subject-verb agreement). 'College' is incorrect and should be 'colleagues'. 'Associable' is not the correct adjective; use 'sociable' or 'friendly'. Also sentence was run-on; split into clearer sentences. Suggestion: 'I think that the place where I work is very comfortable. From the boss to my colleagues, many people are sociable and friendly.'

× Umm, in the future I'm going to look for a new job. Umm, however it is related.

✓ In the future I'm going to look for a new job, preferably related to my major.

'However it is related' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use 'preferably related to my major' to express preference. Keep future intention with 'I'm going to look'. Suggestion: 'I'm going to look for a new job, preferably related to my major.'

× My major is marketing communication.

✓ My major is marketing communications.

The common collocation is 'marketing communications' (plural) when referring to the academic field. Use the plural noun. Suggestion: 'My major is marketing communications.'

× Umm, I want to uh, learn new things in a new company.

✓ I want to learn new things at a new company.

Use 'at a new company' rather than 'in' for where you will work. The verb 'learn' should be in base form after 'want to'. Original already mostly correct; adjust preposition. Suggestion: 'I want to learn new things at a new company.'