Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Cevap açık ama düzensiz ve tekrarlı doldurma sesleri var. Daha doğrudan bir konu cümlesiyle başlayın, gereksiz tekrarları kaldırın ve en fazla 3-4 cümleyle net sebepler verin. Bağlaçlar (because, so, and) kullanarak akışı iyileştirin ve yaş aralığını net ifade edin.

Example: I am currently working in the education sector at Sabah School, a primary school for children aged 5 to 13. I enjoy my job because working with young children keeps me energetic and motivated. It also allows me to develop my teaching skills.

Suggestion: Cevap doğru ancak dolgu sözcükleri (umm, uh, like) ve yarım kalan cümleler akışı zayıflatıyor. İki kısa, tamamlanmış cümle kullanın: okulun türünü ve neden sevdiğinizi belirtin. Daha özgün kelimeler (energised yerine energetic) ve bağlaçlar kullanın.

Example: I work at Sabah School, which is an IB primary school for children aged 5 to 13. I enjoy working there because interacting with children energises me and suits my teaching style.

Suggestion: Cevap olumlu ama tekrarlar ve dilbilgisi hataları dikkat çekiyor (it it, gives gives, in abroad). Daha doğal ve mantıklı destekleyici ifadeler kullanın; örneğin neden iyi olduğunu açıklayın (it offers training, good reputation, international opportunities). Teklif edilen sebepleri net cümlelerle ifade edin.

Example: Yes, it is a great place to work because it has a strong reputation and offers professional development for teachers. It also provides international opportunities, which could help me work abroad in the future.

Suggestion: Cevap kafa karıştırıcı ve bir ifadeyi yanlış kullanıyor (‘play Cyborg’ anlamlı değil). Çok sayıda dolgu ve yarım cümle var. Net bir konu cümlesiyle başlayın ve iki destekleyici cümleyle neden sevdiğinizi açıklayın; örneğin deneyim kazanma ve uluslararası fırsatlar. Gereksiz ifadeleri çıkarın.

Example: Yes, I like working at my school. It has helped me gain valuable experience teaching in an IB environment, and it gives me opportunities to work with diverse children and possibly live abroad.

Suggestion: Güzel ve doğrudan bir cevap ancak dolgu kelimeleri ve küçük dilbilgisi hataları var. Cevabı daha güçlü yapmak için spesifik hedef(ör. hangi ülke veya hangi düzeyde öğretmek), zaman çerçevesi ve bir gerekçe ekleyin. Bağlaçlarla mantığı güçlendirin.

Example: I plan to work overseas in the next few years, preferably in an English-speaking country. Teaching at an international IB school has prepared me for this, and I hope to gain experience in a different education system to develop my skills further.

× So, uh, currently I am working, uh, in the field of education and my workplace is Sabah School.

✓ So, uh, currently I work in the field of education and my workplace is Sabah School.

The present simple is preferred for habitual or current employment. Using 'am working' suggests a temporary action; 'work' better matches a regular job. Suggestion: Use present simple 'I work' when describing your job as a regular situation.

× Sabah School is a primary school for children umm, age from umm, 5 to 13 and I enjoy doing my job because, umm, when I have.

✓ Sabah School is a primary school for children aged from 5 to 13, and I enjoy doing my job because it energizes me.

Use the adjective 'aged' to describe the ages of children. The original sentence also ends incomplete; supply a complete clause explaining why you enjoy the job. Suggestion: Say 'children aged 5 to 13' and complete the sentence with the reason.

× I work in a primary school called Sabah School.

✓ I work at a primary school called Sabah School.

Use preposition 'at' for workplaces or institutions rather than 'in' which is acceptable but 'at' is more idiomatic here. Suggestion: Use 'work at a school' to sound more natural.

× Sabah school is a umm, IB, uh, center school for the children age uh, like from 5 to 13.

✓ Sabah School is an IB-centered school for children aged 5 to 13.

Use 'an' before vowel sound 'IB' and 'aged' to describe ages. 'Center school' is awkward; 'IB-centered' or 'an IB school' is clearer. Suggestion: Say 'an IB school' or 'an IB-centered school' and 'children aged 5 to 13'.

× Uh, I enjoy doing my job because I would say that working with uh, children, uh, makes me more energetic and it suits my.

✓ I enjoy my job because working with children makes me more energetic and suits me.

Sentence was incomplete and wordy. Remove filler words and complete final clause 'suits me'. Use concise structure: 'enjoy my job because working with children makes me more energetic and suits me.' Suggestion: Avoid fillers and finish the sentence clearly.

× It has some prestige and it's very famous place to work in it.

✓ It has some prestige and it's a very famous place to work.

Include the indefinite article 'a' before 'very famous place'. Remove redundant 'in it'. Suggestion: Use 'a very famous place' and omit extra pronouns.

× And in another case it helps me to improve my teaching skills in IP schools and it it gives gives me the opportunity to teach and to work in abroad I can say.

✓ It also helps me improve my teaching skills in IB schools and gives me the opportunity to teach and work abroad.

Use 'also' instead of 'in another case'. Correct acronym to 'IB'. Remove duplicate words. Use 'work abroad' (no 'in'). Suggestion: Say 'helps me improve my teaching skills in IB schools' and 'work abroad'.

× Of course, I would like to play Cyborg, as I said before, umm, I gained some experience from my school, uh, that helps me to, uh, be great teacher in IB school, uh, and also it gives me some opportunity to go and live abroad, uh, and work, uh, with different kind of the children in such kind of like.

✓ Of course, I would like to continue; as I said before, I gained experience at my school that helps me be a better teacher in an IB school, and it also gives me the opportunity to live and work abroad with different kinds of children.

Sentence contains unclear phrase 'play Cyborg' (likely wrong word), missing articles ('a better teacher', 'an IB school'), and incorrect pluralization 'different kind of the children'. Replace with 'different kinds of children' and 'opportunity' singular. Remove fillers and clarify meaning. Suggestion: Use 'be a better teacher', 'an IB school', and 'different kinds of children'.

× I would like to go overseas and continue my work in a foreign country because as I said before, our like school is International School and like I it opens the door for me to teach in another country.

✓ I would like to go overseas and continue my work in a foreign country because, as I said before, our school is an international school and it opens the door for me to teach in another country.

Use 'an international school' with correct article and adjective form. Remove filler words 'like' and the extra 'I'. Suggestion: Say 'our school is an international school' and avoid filler words.