Watch— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar; avoid fillers and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, give 1–2 supporting details using linking words, and correct vocabulary (e.g., "occasion", "leather strap"). Keep to 3–4 sentences and remove hesitations like "I mean".

Example: Yes, I do. I wear an Apple Watch most days for convenience when I meet friends or go to tutoring. However, for important meetings or interviews I prefer a classic analog watch with a leather strap because it looks more formal and sophisticated.

Suggestion: Correct tense and phrasing, avoid repetition and run-on sentences. Use a clear topic sentence, then give concise reasons with linking words. Replace awkward phrases ("voted for myself") with natural expressions like "treated myself".

Example: No, I haven't received one as a gift, but I treated myself to a watch on my 19th birthday when I became an adult. I spent some time considering different styles and eventually chose an Apple Watch because it is practical and suits my daily needs.

Suggestion: Express ideas more precisely and use linking words to show cause and effect. Fix grammar errors ("as they get older"). Add a brief example or reason to make your point more specific.

Example: I think many people buy expensive watches as they get older. In my view, because people often judge others by appearance, some wear luxury watches to project success and status. For example, professionals might choose designer watches to make a strong first impression at meetings.

Suggestion: Avoid hesitations and filler words; correct vocabulary and sentence structure. State your opinion clearly, then give two concise reasons with linking words. Replace unclear words ("access") with "accessory" and remove repeated words.

Example: I don't think watches are essential nowadays because we can easily check the time on our phones. Moreover, smart devices provide many timekeeping alternatives. However, some people still wear watches as fashion accessories or for convenience when exercising.

× Yes I do, I will watch every day whenever I go out.

✓ Yes I do. I wear a watch every day whenever I go out.

The original used 'I will watch' which is incorrect because 'wear' is a habitual action and requires the simple present 'wear'. Also 'will' implies future. Use a period to separate clauses for clarity.

× I usually wear my Apple Watch when I'm just meeting my friends or going to a tutoring center.

✓ I usually wear my Apple Watch when I meet my friends or go to a tutoring center.

Mixing present continuous ('I'm meeting') with general habitual adverb 'usually' is awkward. For habitual actions, use simple present 'meet' and 'go'.

× I mean like acclaiming.

✓ I mean, I use it for casual activities.

The phrase 'acclaiming' is incorrect and does not fit the context. The student likely intended to say 'casual activities' or 'everyday activities'. Rephrase to a clear clause.

× However, I prefer wearing an analog watch with a weather strip weather strip when I have an important meeting or interview because it looks much more formal and sophisticated.

✓ However, I prefer wearing an analog watch with a weather strap when I have an important meeting or interview because it looks more formal and sophisticated.

The repetition 'weather strip weather strip' is an error. 'Weather strap' or 'leather strap' is likely intended; choose the correct noun. 'Much more' can be simplified to 'more' for natural speech.

× No, but I voted for myself as a self gift on my 19 birthday since I I had just become an adult at the time I thought there would be some like many occasions where I might need to wear a watch.

✓ No, but I bought one as a gift for myself on my 19th birthday because I had just become an adult and thought there would be many occasions when I might need to wear a watch.

'Voted for myself as a self gift' is incorrect; use 'bought one as a gift for myself'. '19 birthday' should be '19th birthday'. Sequence of past events uses past perfect 'had just become' correctly; simplify awkward phrases like 'some like many occasions' to 'many occasions' and use 'when' not 'where' for occasions.

× I spend quite a while thinking about what kind of watch do I need to buy and eventually I decided to purchase an Apple Watch because it's not only practical.

✓ I spent quite a while thinking about what kind of watch I needed to buy, and eventually I decided to purchase an Apple Watch because it is practical.

Tense consistency: 'spend' should be past 'spent' to match 'decided'. In indirect questions within a sentence, use statement word order: 'what kind of watch I needed to buy' not 'what kind of watch do I need to buy'. 'It's not only practical' is incomplete; remove 'not only' or add the second idea. Here we simplify to 'because it is practical.'

× I think many people tend to buy expensive watches as they get thing older.

✓ I think many people tend to buy expensive watches as they get older.

'thing older' is incorrect; likely filler 'thin' or typo. Remove 'thing' so the comparative phrase 'get older' is correct.

× In my opinion, people often judge others based on their appearance and outfit.

✓ In my opinion, people often judge others by their appearance and outfits.

Both 'based on' and 'judge by' can work, but 'judge by' is more concise. Also use plural 'outfits' to match general reference.

× In turn, many individuals want to wear luxury watches to show off and create a successful image.

✓ Many individuals want to wear luxury watches to show off and create a successful image.

'In turn' is unnecessary here and can be omitted for clearer, more natural phrasing. The sentence otherwise is grammatically fine.

× To be honest I don't think watches are essential anymore these days because because I mean like with the advance of **** I mean advent of mobile phone and we can easily check the time on it.

✓ To be honest, I don't think watches are essential anymore because, with the advent of mobile phones, we can easily check the time on them.

Avoid doubled words 'because because' and filler phrases. Use 'advent of mobile phones' (plural) and 'them' to refer back to phones. Add commas for clarity and remove fillers.

× Since the main purpose of the watch is simply to tell the time, I don't really see any point of viewing it unless people use it as a fashion access.

✓ Since the main purpose of a watch is simply to tell the time, I don't really see any point in wearing it unless people use it as a fashion accessory.

Use 'a watch' for general statements. 'Point of viewing it' is wrong—use 'point in wearing it'. 'Fashion access' is incorrect; correct noun is 'fashion accessory'.