Advertisement— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Answerが少し不自然で、言い回しや文法の誤りがあります。例えば、「aid」ではなく「ad」や「advertisement」を使い、「which name was Head and Shoulder」ではなく「called Head & Shoulders」と言うべきです。また、冗長な「uh」や「so beautiful」などの表現を減らし、より自然で簡潔な表現を心がけましょう。

Example: Yes, I remember an advertisement for Head & Shoulders shampoo. It showed how the product made hair look shiny and healthy, which impressed me a lot as a child.

Suggestion: 文法や語彙の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。例えば、「What seems I'm from Nepal」ではなく「I am from Nepal」や、「only one railway transportation」ではなく「there is only one railway system」と言うべきです。より明確で簡潔な文を作り、接続詞を使って論理的に話しましょう。

Example: I am from Nepal, where there is only one railway line. Therefore, I see many advertisements on buses because buses are the most common and convenient transport for people.

Suggestion: 文法の誤りや不自然な表現があります。例えば、「watch advertisement」ではなく「watch advertisements」や「my sister also use it」ではなく「my sister also uses it」と言うべきです。また、具体的な内容をもう少し詳しく説明すると良いでしょう。

Example: Yes, I like watching advertisements because they are very creative nowadays. For example, there is a famous skincare ad that my sister uses, and I like how it shows the benefits clearly.

Suggestion: 「awarding」は誤用で、「informing」や「raising awareness」が適切です。また、繰り返しの「some some」や文法の誤りを直し、より自然な表現にしましょう。具体的な例を加えるとさらに良いです。

Example: I like advertisements that raise awareness about health issues. For instance, mental health campaigns provide useful information that helps people improve their lives.

Suggestion: 文が非常に不明瞭で、意味が伝わりにくいです。「bombarded or the advertisement」などの表現は誤りで、正しくは「I am often bombarded with advertisements」などです。文法と語彙を見直し、簡潔で明確な答えを心がけましょう。

Example: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone and computer. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed because there are so many ads on apps and websites.

× Well, I remember there was an aid related to a sample product, uh, which name was Head and Shoulder.

✓ Well, I remember there was an ad related to a sample product, uh, whose name was Head and Shoulders.

The word 'aid' is incorrect here; it should be 'ad' (advertisement). Also, 'which name was' is incorrect; the correct relative pronoun is 'whose' to indicate possession. Additionally, the product name is 'Head and Shoulders', not 'Head and Shoulder'.

× They showed it in a such beautiful manner, uh, that the hair just becomes so beautiful.

✓ They showed it in such a beautiful manner, uh, that the hair just becomes so beautiful.

The phrase 'a such beautiful manner' is incorrect; the correct order is 'such a beautiful manner'. 'Such' is used before 'a/an + adjective + noun'.

× Uh, it always stick on me.

✓ Uh, it always sticks with me.

The verb 'stick' needs to agree with the singular subject 'it', so it should be 'sticks'. Also, the correct preposition is 'with' not 'on' in this context.

× What seems I'm from Nepal, uh, that is uh, only one railway transportation and I'm not from that premises.

✓ Since I'm from Nepal, uh, there is only one railway transportation system and I don't live near it.

The original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. 'What seems I'm from Nepal' is incorrect; 'Since I'm from Nepal' is better. 'Only one railway transportation' needs 'system' to be complete. 'I'm not from that premises' is incorrect; 'I don't live near it' is clearer.

× So I believe I see a lot, a lot of trans, a lot of advertisement on buses because it is quite convenient for every person to use it.

✓ So I believe I see a lot of advertisements on buses because it is quite convenient for every person to use them.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' because 'a lot of' refers to plural countable nouns. Also, 'trans' is unclear and likely a truncated word; it is omitted. 'Use it' should be 'use them' referring to buses.

× Yeah, I like to watch advertisement.

✓ Yeah, I like to watch advertisements.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' when talking generally. Also, 'watch advertisements' is the correct collocation.

× I remember the advertisement related to the skin care which is quite famous and my sister also use it.

✓ I remember the advertisement related to skin care which is quite famous and my sister also uses it.

'Skin care' does not need 'the' here. The verb 'use' should be 'uses' to agree with singular subject 'my sister'.

× I like the way this depicts.

✓ I like the way it depicts things.

'This' is vague; 'it' referring to the advertisement is better. Also, 'depicts' usually needs an object; adding 'things' clarifies the meaning.

× Well, I like the advertisement that are quite awarding the people about their health condition.

✓ Well, I like advertisements that quite effectively warn people about their health conditions.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' to match 'that are'. 'Awarding' is incorrect; the intended meaning is 'warning'. 'Health condition' should be plural 'health conditions'.

× Some some advertisement related to mental health are quite effective and people can gain a lot of information which can help to improve their lives.

✓ Some advertisements related to mental health are quite effective and people can gain a lot of information which can help improve their lives.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'. The repeated 'some some' is an error. 'Help to improve' is better as 'help improve'.

× Yes, I often see advertisement when I'm on my computer or phone, but I used to open any app within the phone or go through the any website in my laptop or the bombarded or the advertisement.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements when I'm on my computer or phone, but I usually open apps on my phone or browse websites on my laptop without being bombarded by advertisements.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'. 'Used to' is incorrect here; 'usually' fits better. 'Within the phone' should be 'on my phone'. 'Go through the any website' is incorrect; 'browse websites' is better. 'The bombarded or the advertisement' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'without being bombarded by advertisements'.

× This is quite a nice business business.

✓ This is quite a nice business.

The word 'business' is repeated unnecessarily; it should appear only once.