Art— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 답변이 자연스럽고 효과적이지만, 'thinkings'는 올바른 단어가 아니므로 'thoughts'로 수정하는 것이 좋습니다. 또한, 문장 간 연결을 더 명확히 하기 위해 접속사를 활용하면 좋겠습니다.

Example: Yes, I like to draw because it is an excellent way to pass the time effortlessly. When I draw something, I tend to lose track of time since it is highly engaging. Moreover, in my opinion, drawing is one of the best ways to express my feelings and thoughts.

Suggestion: 마지막 문장이 불완전하게 끝나서 의미 전달이 명확하지 않습니다. 문장을 완성하고, 연결어를 사용하여 문장 간 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드는 연습이 필요합니다.

Example: Yes, I love to go to art galleries because they allow me to think more creatively. For example, I enjoy visiting exhibitions about current environmental issues. By visiting them, I can expand my perspectives and learn more about the world that I didn't know before.

Suggestion: 'area'는 복수형인 'areas'로 수정해야 하며, 문장 구조가 다소 어색합니다. 좀 더 명확하고 자연스러운 문장 구성을 연습하세요.

Example: Yes, I want to learn more about art. Although my major is not related to art, I find it very interesting, and there are many areas in art that I would like to explore.

Suggestion: 마지막 문장이 미완성되어 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 문장을 완성하고, 문장 간 연결어를 사용하여 더 자연스럽게 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

Example: Yes, I took art classes when I was young, especially when I was 7 years old. My mom wanted to cultivate my artistic talent, so she enrolled me in art classes. I fell in love with art and continued taking classes until I was a teenager.

× When I Draw Something, I tend to lose track of time because it is highly engaging.

✓ When I draw something, I tend to lose track of time because it is highly engaging.

The verb 'Draw' should be in lowercase as it is not a proper noun or at the beginning of the sentence. Also, 'draw' is the base form used after 'When I'.

× Moreover, in my opinion, drawing is one of the best ways to express my feelings and thinkings.

✓ Moreover, in my opinion, drawing is one of the best ways to express my feelings and thoughts.

The word 'thinkings' is incorrect; the correct plural noun is 'thoughts'. 'Thinking' is usually uncountable or used as a verb, so 'thoughts' should be used to express multiple ideas or feelings.

× By visiting them, I can expand my perspectives and I can learn about the world that I didn't.

✓ By visiting them, I can expand my perspectives and learn about the world that I didn't know.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'didn't' which is incomplete. The verb 'know' is missing after 'didn't' to complete the meaning. Also, 'I can' is repeated unnecessarily; it can be omitted in the second clause for smoother flow.

× ...but art is pretty interesting for me and there are a lot of area in art so yes.

✓ ...but art is pretty interesting for me and there are a lot of areas in art, so yes.

The word 'area' should be pluralized to 'areas' because 'a lot of' requires a plural noun. Also, a comma before 'so yes' improves sentence clarity.

× My mom wanted to cultivate my artistic talent, so she enrolled me in art classes and then I fell in love with art so I took classes until.

✓ My mom wanted to cultivate my artistic talent, so she enrolled me in art classes. Then I fell in love with art, so I took classes until [a certain time].

The original sentence is a run-on sentence lacking clarity and completeness. It should be split into two sentences for better structure. Also, 'until' requires an object or time reference to complete the meaning, which is missing here.