Emails— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitation and filler words (uh).

Example: Yes, I send emails frequently. As a real estate agent, I email clients weekly to share property listings and schedule viewings, so email is a key part of my daily routine.

Suggestion: Answer directly with a clear time-frame and a specific reason. Use linking words (for example, so, because) and avoid repeating the job role. Limit to 2–3 concise sentences.

Example: I usually send emails when we have new property listings. For example, whenever a new apartment becomes available, I email interested clients with photos, prices, and viewing times so they can respond quickly.

Suggestion: Avoid uncertainty and personal disclaimers; instead give a general informed opinion with reasons and an example. Use linking words (however, because, therefore) and keep it to two sentences.

Example: Although I'm not from China, I think email is widely used there because businesses and universities rely on it for formal communication. For instance, many companies use email to contact overseas partners and send official documents.

Suggestion: Make a clear prediction and support it with specific reasons and an example. Avoid repeating the same point; instead add one concrete contrast (e.g., security, record-keeping).

Example: I think email will remain popular in the future because it is more professional and better for record-keeping than instant messaging. For example, companies prefer email for contracts and formal notices since it creates an official written trail.

× I work as a real estate agent and it is part of my duties and responsibilities to regularly send emails to my clients and communicate with them regularly and be able to show them what we offer as real estate agents and there.

✓ I work as a real estate agent, and it is part of my duties and responsibilities to regularly send emails to my clients, communicate with them, and show them what we offer.

The original sentence is long, repetitive, and poorly coordinated, causing a sentence structure error (ID 26). Multiple 'and' conjunctions and repeated adverbs ('regularly') make the sentence unclear. Improve by using parallel structure for the verbs: 'send,' 'communicate,' and 'show,' remove redundant words, and use commas to separate items. This creates clarity and grammatical coherence.

× Well, I usually send emails to others when, uh, we have new projects.

✓ Well, I usually send emails to others when we have new projects.

The filler 'uh' interrupts the sentence and is unnecessary in written form, creating a sentence structure issue (ID 26). Remove filler words for clarity. The tense and meaning remain appropriate.

× So if there are new properties that, uh, uh, we offer, then I will update my clients with it by sending emails and.

✓ So if there are new properties that we offer, I will update my clients by sending them emails.

This sentence has disfluencies ('uh, uh'), an incomplete ending ('and'), and awkward phrasing, creating a sentence structure error (ID 26). Also 'update my clients with it' is awkward; use 'update my clients by sending them emails.' Remove fillers and complete the clause to make the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× To be honest, I don't know because I'm not from China, but since I believe China is a developed country, definitely sending emails is very important as well for them.

✓ To be honest, I don't know because I'm not from China, but since I believe China is a developed country, sending emails is also very important there.

The phrase 'for them' is an unclear pronoun reference and incorrect in this context; use 'there' to refer to a place (China). This is an incorrect use of pronouns (ID 12). Also 'definitely' is better placed elsewhere or removed for conciseness. The correction clarifies the referent and improves naturalness.

× It's very popular and it's a way of communicating with people overseas, so they're not just in China but around the world.

✓ It's very popular; it is a way of communicating with people overseas, so people are not limited to China but can reach others around the world.

The original contains a pronoun reference ('they're') that ambiguously refers to people; the sentence is awkwardly structured—this is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Rephrase to clarify the subject ('people') and improve flow. Use a semicolon or separate sentences to avoid run-on.

× I believe it will be popular still no matter what because sending emails, uh, is more professional than just sending regular messages via text or via social media.

✓ I believe it will still be popular no matter what because sending emails is more professional than sending regular messages via text or social media.

The original includes filler 'uh', awkward adverb placement ('popular still'), and redundant prepositions ('via text or via social media'), creating a sentence structure error (ID 26). Place 'still' before 'popular' and remove fillers and repetition for natural, grammatical phrasing.

× When it comes to sending emails, it is something that is more professional like I mentioned.

✓ As I mentioned, sending emails is more professional.

This sentence is wordy and uses redundant phrases ('it is something that is more professional like I mentioned'), resulting in a sentence structure error (ID 26). Simplify by stating the point directly: 'As I mentioned, sending emails is more professional.' This improves clarity and conciseness.