Dreams— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you remember your childhood dreams, then give two specific examples and finish with a brief reflection. Avoid filler words and tense errors. Use linking words like “for example” and “however.”

Example: Yes, I can remember my childhood dreams clearly. For example, I wanted to become an astronaut and also a scientist who built rockets. Those were ambitious goals, but as I grew older I gradually let them go because I found different interests and practical challenges. However, those dreams still influence how I think about science and exploration.

Suggestion: Improve fluency and reduce repetition: give a clear direct answer, then add one or two specific details about how and why you share dreams. Use linking words (for instance, “because” or “so”) and remove hesitations and repeated words.

Example: Yes, I often share my dreams with friends because we like to exchange ideas and encourage one another. For instance, we talk about career goals and give practical advice, which helps each of us refine our plans and stay motivated.

Suggestion: Clarify and organize your points: begin with a direct opinion, then give two clear reasons with specific language. Avoid vague phrasing like “it as if” and use connectors such as “firstly” and “secondly.”

Example: Yes, I believe dreams are meaningful. Firstly, they give us passion and motivation, so we work harder and improve our skills. Secondly, having goals prevents confusion about the future and helps us make clearer decisions.

Suggestion: Be specific and concise: answer directly, then give a concrete reason or example of how you will try to achieve a dream. Remove repeated words and vague phrases like “becoming a lot of things.”

Example: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because it would be rewarding to accomplish my goals. For example, I plan to study engineering and gain hands-on experience so I can work on projects related to rockets, and that would make my younger self proud.

× So as I grow up, I just kind of give up these dreams.

✓ So as I grew up, I kind of gave up those dreams.

The sentence refers to past events ('when I was a kid') so verbs should be in the past tense. 'grow' and 'give up' should be 'grew' and 'gave up'. Also 'these' is better as 'those' when referring back to previously mentioned items.

× Well, personally, I talk a lot about my dreams to other people and I always discuss those dreams about my, uh, with my friends and they will discuss discuss there with my, with me too, so we can exchange our thoughts and so that we can have a great dream together as a whole.

✓ Well, personally, I talk a lot about my dreams with other people and I always discuss them with my friends; they discuss their dreams with me too, so we can exchange our thoughts and share a common dream.

The original contains awkward phrasing and repetition. 'Discuss those dreams about my, uh, with my friends' is ungrammatical; use 'discuss them with my friends'. 'Discuss there with my, with me' is incorrect; use 'they discuss their dreams with me'. Use clearer conjunctions and parallel structure.

× Dreams definitely have a special meaning in our life as it as if we have passion, it will motivate us into becoming a better person and we will perform tasks much more effectively if we have those dreams.

✓ Dreams definitely have a special meaning in our lives: if we have passion, they will motivate us to become better people, and we will perform tasks much more effectively when we have those dreams.

Pronoun and number agreement errors: 'it as if we have passion' is ungrammatical. 'Dreams' is plural so use 'they' and 'people' plural. Use 'in our lives' (plural) and 'motivate us to become' rather than 'into becoming'. Also replace awkward clause 'as it as if' with 'if'.

× And if we don't have these dreams, it would make us very confused about our future.

✓ And if we don't have these dreams, it will make us very confused about our future.

The conditional here is a real possibility, so use 'will' rather than 'would'. 'Would' is for unreal or hypothetical conditions.

× I would love my dreams to come true because because it is very cool to be A to complete your dreams into becoming a lot of things.

✓ I would love for my dreams to come true because it is very cool to achieve your dreams and become many things.

Article and phrasing issues: 'to be A to complete your dreams into becoming a lot of things' is incorrect. Use 'to achieve your dreams and become many things'. Remove unnecessary 'A' and correct collocations: 'make dreams come true' or 'achieve your dreams'.

× And I think if I look back at my past self, I think my past self would be proud of me too.

✓ And I think if I look back at my past self, my past self would be proud of me too.

Redundant 'I think' repeated twice; while not strictly a tense error, streamline sentence. The conditional 'would be' is appropriate because imagining past self's reaction is hypothetical. Keep tenses consistent.