Internet— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar (articles, verb forms). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly.

Example: I started using the internet when I was in secondary school. I mainly used it for schoolwork because it helped me research topics and complete assignments, and I also got my first smartphone then so I could access it more easily.

Suggestion: Give a direct answer about frequency first, then one clear reason and a linked example. Reduce hesitations and correct phrasing (e.g. 'to avoid distraction' not 'to distract me from').

Example: I go online several times every day, often checking my phone hourly during the daytime. Because this distracts me from studying, I usually put my phone in focus or do-not-disturb mode when I need to concentrate.

Suggestion: Organise chronologically: say when, why, and what happened. Fix grammar (past tense consistency) and be specific about consequences. Avoid filler words.

Example: Yes. When I was in secondary school my mother banned me from using the internet for about a week because I was spending too much time online and my grades were falling. After the break I was able to focus more on my homework and my results improved slightly.

Suggestion: Answer directly, then give two specific activities you do online and two alternatives you'd prefer. Improve sentence structure and vocabulary (e.g. 'scrolling through social apps', 'relaxing away from technology').

Example: Yes, I do spend a lot of time online for studying, messaging friends and scrolling through social apps like Instagram. I would prefer to spend more time reading books or walking in the park because those activities help me relax away from technology.

Suggestion: Start with a clear topic sentence about main activities without the internet, then list two or three specific hobbies with reasons. Keep tense consistent and avoid repetition and unclear clauses.

Example: Without the internet I would read books and go for walks in the park to relax. I would also go jogging regularly because exercising helps me relieve stress and enjoy my free time.

× I actually started using Internet when I was in secondary school because Internet can help me with my study and also in secondary school I only started to have my own phone so that I can access through the Internet.

✓ I actually started using the Internet when I was in secondary school because the Internet can help me with my studies, and it was only in secondary school that I started to have my own phone so that I could access the Internet.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'Internet' and inconsistent noun number and pronoun reference. 'Internet' is a specific medium and requires 'the'. 'Study' should be plural 'studies' to match general academic work. Use 'it was only... that' to improve sentence structure and 'could' to match past ability.

× I go online right now very frequently when I'm in the daytime, almost every hour I will go online.

✓ I go online very frequently during the day; almost every hour I go online.

Awkward tense/time expressions and redundant 'right now' with present habitual action. 'I'm in the daytime' is incorrect; use 'during the day'. Maintain consistent simple present for habitual actions: 'I go online' not 'I will go online'.

× So in order to uh, distract me from the online, from the phone, I will always put myself in the put my phone to focus mode.

✓ So in order to stop myself from being distracted by my phone, I always put my phone into focus mode.

Phrase order and word choice errors: 'distract me from the online' is incorrect; the meaning is 'stop myself from being distracted by'. Use 'put my phone into focus mode' for correct verb and preposition. Use simple present 'always put' for habitual action.

× Yes, I remember when I was in the secondary school at the time when I'm really addicted to the Internet where I don't, uh, study a lot and I, my result and my academic performance request.

✓ Yes, I remember when I was in secondary school and I was really addicted to the Internet; I didn't study much and my results and academic performance suffered.

Mixed present and past tense: 'I'm really addicted' should be past 'I was really addicted'. 'I don't study a lot' should be past 'I didn't study much'. 'My result and my academic performance request' is ungrammatical; use 'my results and academic performance suffered' to express decline.

× So at the time, my mother, uh, stopped me from using the Internet for around a week and so that I can focus back on my study.

✓ So at that time my mother stopped me from using the Internet for about a week so that I could focus on my studies again.

Modal/tense mismatch: 'so that I can focus' should be past 'so that I could focus' because the event is in the past. 'Around a week' is better as 'about a week'. Use 'studies' plural and 'again' for clarity.

× Yes, I would say actually nowadays I spend a lot of time online to study, catch up with friend to messages and also, uh social, uh, scrolling to the social apps like Instagram and Facebook.

✓ Yes, I would say that nowadays I spend a lot of time online studying, catching up with friends through messages, and scrolling through social apps like Instagram and Facebook.

Incorrect verb forms after 'spend time': use gerunds ('studying', 'catching up', 'scrolling'). 'Friend to messages' is incorrect; use 'friends through messages'. 'Scrolling to the social apps' should be 'scrolling through social apps'.

× Instead. Actually I would like to spend more time to like read the book or just go to a park for a walk, which just umm, made me relax then just technological think.

✓ Actually, I would like to spend more time reading books or going to a park for a walk, which makes me relax more than using technology.

Wrong verb forms: use gerunds 'reading' and 'going'. 'Read the book' is too specific; 'reading books' is natural. Tense consistency: 'made me relax' should be present 'makes me relax' when comparing current preferences. 'Technological think' is incorrect; use 'using technology' or 'being on technology'.

× So without Internet, I will usually read the book uh, as a pastime.

✓ So without the Internet, I usually read books as a pastime.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'Internet'. 'Read the book' suggests a specific book; plural 'books' is natural for a pastime. Use simple present 'usually read' for habitual action.

× Beside this, I will also go to the park for a walk because it helped me to relax my mind and other than that, I also loves jogging.

✓ Besides that, I also go to the park for a walk because it helps me relax my mind, and I also love jogging.

Preposition 'Beside' is wrong; use 'Besides' or 'Besides that'. Tense consistency: 'helped me' should be present 'helps me' for habitual. Subject-verb agreement: 'I also loves' should be 'I also love'.

× Uh, if I didn't if I don't have the Internet because I can't relieve my stress and also enjoy my hobby.

✓ If I didn't have the Internet, I wouldn't be able to relieve my stress or enjoy my hobbies.

Mixed conditional and incorrect verb forms. Use past tense 'didn't have' with conditional 'wouldn't be able to' to form second conditional for hypothetical present situations. Use plural 'hobbies' or 'my hobby' consistently and 'relieve my stress' with 'be able to'.