Internet— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer lacks clarity and coherence. Try to give a direct response first, then add supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and be more specific about your experience.

Example: I started using the internet when I was about seven years old. At that time, it was still quite new and developing rapidly, so I found it fascinating to explore.

Suggestion: Your answer is repetitive and unclear. Provide a clear frequency and explain why you go online using linking words. Avoid hesitation sounds and incomplete sentences.

Example: I go online several times a day because it is very convenient to access information on my phone anywhere and anytime.

Suggestion: Your answer is confusing and lacks coherence. Give a clear topic sentence, then explain the situation with specific details and linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and filler words.

Example: Yes, I remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the internet. I went to my neighbour's house to use their internet without permission, and my dad was very angry about it.

Suggestion: Your answer is unclear and contains errors. Start with a clear opinion, then explain with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases.

Example: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because it leaves me little time to relax, such as going for walks or sitting by the river.

Suggestion: Your answer is generally good but could be improved by linking ideas more smoothly and avoiding vague phrases like 'it's like'. Be more specific about your plans.

Example: Without the internet, I would read more physical books and travel with my best friends. This way, I could experience real life more fully and spend quality time with my family.

× When I was like 7 years old, I can't remember vividly.

✓ When I was like 7 years old, I couldn't remember vividly.

The sentence refers to a past time ('when I was 7 years old'), so the verb 'can't' should be in the past tense 'couldn't' to maintain tense consistency.

× It seems it's a few years.

✓ It seems it was a few years ago.

The phrase 'it seems' is present tense, but the event happened in the past, so 'it's a few years' is incorrect. It should be 'it was a few years ago' to correctly indicate past time.

× I guess the Internet, uh, developed so fast.

✓ I guess the Internet has developed so fast.

The present perfect tense 'has developed' is more appropriate here to express a recent change or development continuing to the present, rather than simple past 'developed'.

× MMM, I guess every day and uh, every hour, umm, every hour every day, because you can search online, uh, on your phone, it's really convenient and uh umm, anywhere, anytime. You can't do it.

✓ MMM, I guess every day and every hour, because you can search online on your phone; it's really convenient and available anywhere, anytime. You can't do that otherwise.

The original sentence is repetitive and lacks clarity. Removing repeated phrases and restructuring improves clarity and coherence. Also, 'You can't do it' is vague; 'You can't do that otherwise' clarifies the meaning.

× Definitely. You know I still remember vividly once I umm played as a forward and just to go my neighbors house because umm and there had the Internet.

✓ Definitely. You know I still remember vividly once I played as a forward and just went to my neighbour's house because they had the Internet.

The phrase 'just to go my neighbors house' is incorrect; it should be 'just went to my neighbour's house' to use the past tense verb and correct preposition. Also, 'there had the Internet' is incorrect; 'they had the Internet' is correct.

× My dad was so angry at that time he swatched.

✓ My dad was so angry at that time he shouted.

The word 'swatched' is incorrect here; likely the intended word is 'shouted' to describe the father's reaction. Also, 'was' correctly indicates past tense.

× Uh, I can't grades, yes, I think I spend too much time online.

✓ Uh, I can't remember exactly, but yes, I think I spend too much time online.

The phrase 'I can't grades' is unclear and ungrammatical. Replacing it with 'I can't remember exactly' makes the sentence meaningful and grammatically correct.

× I've always grown to my forward and it's like I don't have any time to umm, go for a walk or sit by the river just to to relax.

✓ I've always played as a forward and it's like I don't have any time to go for a walk or sit by the river just to relax.

'I've always grown to my forward' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'I've always played as a forward'. Also, removing the repeated 'to' in 'just to to relax' corrects the error.

× Without the Internet, I think I would read more physical books and go to travel with my best friends.

✓ Without the Internet, I think I would read more physical books and travel with my best friends.

The phrase 'go to travel' is incorrect; 'travel' alone is sufficient and grammatically correct after 'would'.

× It's like I could experience the real life.

✓ It's like I could experience real life.

The phrase 'the real life' is incorrect; 'real life' is an uncountable noun and does not require the definite article 'the'.

× Maybe it's a good idea to stay connected with my parents or family.

✓ Maybe it's a good idea to stay connected with my parents and family.

Using 'or' suggests a choice between parents and family, which is illogical here. 'And' correctly includes both parents and family.