Sharing— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words for coherence and correct minor grammar (e.g., use plural/singular forms, articles). Avoid repeating ideas.

Example: Yes. My parents taught me to share, especially food, when we went out. For example, they encouraged me to offer snacks to friends to show respect and build closer relationships, which helped me become more considerate.

Suggestion: Start with a direct topic sentence and give a specific example. Improve grammar (article use, plural forms) and use a linking word to connect reason and result. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Example: I like to share the music I enjoy. For example, I send playlists to friends because sharing hobbies helps us bond, so exchanging songs often leads to more conversations and closer friendships.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence naming specific items (e.g., personal hygiene items, private photos) and explain why with a short, logical reason. Correct unclear phrases and use linking words to improve coherence.

Example: I think personal items such as toothbrushes, underclothes, or private photo albums are not suitable for sharing because they invade privacy and can make people feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

Suggestion: Answer directly and give a specific recent example. Fix tense and pronoun issues, and explain briefly how sharing made you feel using a linking word. Keep it concise and natural.

Example: Yes. Recently I shared snacks I bought at a night market with my family when we went out. I felt happy because sharing the food made our outing more enjoyable and brought us closer.

Suggestion: Use a clear topic sentence and provide one specific example of a time you shared news. Improve grammar by choosing concise phrases and use a linking word to connect reason and result.

Example: I would first share good news with my mother because she is very supportive. For instance, when I passed an important exam, I called her first and she cheered me on, which made the moment even happier.

Suggestion: Begin with a direct statement and give a specific example of the type of celebrity or entertainment news you share. Use correct grammar (plural forms, articles) and a linking word to explain why these topics are popular among your friends.

Example: I usually share entertainment and celebrity news with my friends. For example, I often tell them about new songs or movie releases from our favorite artists because discussing celebrities is a common topic that keeps our conversations lively.

× Yes they did.

✓ Yes, they did.

Missing comma after introductory word 'Yes'. This is punctuation, not in list, but keep minimal: add comma to reflect natural spoken punctuation. Suggestion: include comma after 'Yes'.

× They taught me to share my food with others when going out because you can show some respect and appreciation to others and I learned.

✓ They taught me to share my food with others when going out because you can show respect and appreciation to others, and I learned to do so.

Sentence combines past teaching with general truth. 'I learned' needs an object or infinitive 'to do so' to be complete. Also remove extra 'some' before uncountable 'respect'. Suggestion: add 'to do so' and use 'respect' without 'some'.

× I also learned how important it is in building stronger relationship.

✓ I also learned how important it is to build stronger relationships.

Incorrect preposition 'in' with 'building' and singular 'relationship' should be plural. Use infinitive 'to build' and plural 'relationships' for general meaning. Suggestion: use 'to build stronger relationships'.

× I like to share the music that I enjoy listening with others because I believe sharing kind of hobbies with others help me build stronger relationship with other.

✓ I like to share the music that I enjoy listening to with others because I believe sharing hobbies with others helps me build stronger relationships with them.

Missing particle 'to' after 'listening'; unnecessary 'kind of' and wrong form 'help' should be 'helps' for subject-verb agreement; 'relationship' should be plural and 'other' should be 'them' (pronoun). Suggestion: use 'listening to', remove 'kind of', use 'helps', and pluralize 'relationships'.

× So I would like to share the music with others.

✓ So I would like to share music with others.

Definite article 'the' is unnecessary before 'music' when speaking generally. Suggestion: omit 'the' for general statements.

× I believe personal item suggests private for those album and not good for sharing because some people might have uncomfortable upbringing as a child.

✓ I believe personal items, such as photo albums, are private and not good for sharing because some people may have had an uncomfortable upbringing as children.

Multiple errors: singular/plural mismatch 'personal item' -> 'personal items'; awkward phrase 'suggests private for those album' replaced by 'such as photo albums'; verb agreement and tense: use 'are'; modal 'may have had' fits possibility and past 'upbringing' relates to 'children' plural. Suggestion: use plural nouns, provide example 'photo albums', and match tense and plurality.

× So I believe sharing those kind of thing with others might make people uncomfortable.

✓ So I believe sharing those kinds of things with others might make people uncomfortable.

Number agreement: 'those' requires plural 'things' and 'kind' should be 'kinds' when used with 'those'. Suggestion: use 'those kinds of things'.

× I like to share my food with others when going out, especially with my family since I really love to go out with my family.

✓ I like to share my food with others when going out, especially with my family, since I really enjoy going out with them.

Repetition of 'my family' is redundant; 'love to go out with my family' can be smoothed to 'enjoy going out with them'. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use 'enjoy' for naturalness.

× I usually share my delicious food that I bought in the public with my family and I became really glad after sharing my food and saying thank you to me.

✓ I usually share the delicious food I buy in public with my family, and I feel really glad after sharing it when they say thank you to me.

Awkward articles and tense: 'in the public' -> 'in public'; use present simple 'buy' for habitual action; 'became' -> 'feel' for immediate reaction; clarify who says thank you to 'me'. Suggestion: use 'the delicious food I buy in public' and 'feel glad after sharing it when they thank me'.

× I like to share new memories or news with my mother because she is really supportive and she is kind of person who always cheers me up.

✓ I like to share new memories or news with my mother because she is really supportive and is the kind of person who always cheers me up.

Missing article 'the' before 'kind of person'; better to say 'the kind of person'. Suggestion: include 'the' to make the noun phrase correct.

× So when I got some good news then she is the first one I would like to share with.

✓ So when I get good news, she is the first person I want to share it with.

Tense inconsistency: use present simple 'get' for habitual action; 'then' is unnecessary; 'one' -> 'person' sounds more natural; 'would like to' -> 'want to' aligns with immediacy. Suggestion: use present tense for regular behavior and clearer phrasing.

× I like to share some public news such as entertainment or celebrity news because those kind of news are common in my friendship and relationships.

✓ I like to share public news, such as entertainment or celebrity news, because that kind of news is common among my friends and in my relationships.

Agreement: 'those kind of news' should be 'that kind of news' (singular 'kind'); 'news' is uncountable so use singular verb 'is'; 'in my friendship' -> 'among my friends' or 'in my relationships'. Suggestion: use 'that kind of news is common among my friends'.

× So I like to share some our favorite artists or celebrities news with my friends.

✓ So I like to share news about our favorite artists or celebrities with my friends.

Incorrect word order 'some our' should be 'news about our'; 'celebrities news' should be 'news about celebrities'. Suggestion: reorder to 'news about our favorite artists or celebrities'.