Sharing— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail or short example. Avoid redundancy and grammar errors (e.g., tense, articles). Use linking words like “because” or “for example”.

Example: Yes — my parents taught me to share when I was a child. For example, they encouraged me to lend toys to neighborhood kids and explained that sharing helps build friendships, so I learned to be more polite and considerate.

Suggestion: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the main things you share, then give one or two specific examples with brief reasons. Keep sentences shorter and avoid vague phrases like “all other routines activities”.

Example: I usually share ideas and small personal items with others. For example, I tell friends about interesting experiences from my day and sometimes lend my phone to call a parent or share a snack during school break.

Suggestion: Give a clear direct answer naming specific personal items not suitable for sharing, and explain why with a short reason. Correct vocabulary (e.g., “private information”, “underwear”) and avoid unrelated cultural references unless explained briefly.

Example: I think personal items that aren’t suitable to share include phones with private data and underwear. These items contain private information or hygiene concerns, so it’s better to keep them personal.

Suggestion: Answer directly (yes/no) and state the specific item, then give one clear, concise reason why you’d share it. Avoid filler words, unclear phrases, and incorrect expressions. Use correct vocabulary for emotions and relationships.

Example: Yes — recently I would share my bicycle with a close friend. I grew up with that bike and trust him, so sharing it would be easy and enjoyable because we have a long friendship.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence naming the person, then add a brief specific reason and one supporting detail. Keep sentences grammatical and avoid hesitations. Use correct time expressions (e.g., “since age five”).

Example: I would first share good news with my friend Suzhou. We have been close since age five, so she is the first person I trust and like to celebrate happy events with.

Suggestion: Answer directly with a topic sentence naming the types of news, then give one or two specific examples and a short reason. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing like “daily happening” or “the deep things”.

Example: I usually share recent personal updates and important events with my friends. For example, I tell them about job news, plans for the weekend, or problems I’m facing so we can support each other.

× Definitely Yes, it is undoubtedly true that all of the parents help the children in their childhood to share their things or their feelings with each other, as that will help the children to be more polite and natural behavior that will help them in the future, As for instance if any.

✓ Definitely yes, it is true that many parents teach their children to share toys and feelings in childhood because this helps children behave politely and naturally in the future.

The original sentence has run-on structure, redundant words, incorrect article use ('all of the parents' -> 'many parents' or 'parents'), and awkward phrases ('natural behavior that will help them'). Keep sentences concise and use parallel noun phrases ('to share toys and feelings'). Use 'teach' rather than 'help ... to share' for clarity. Use proper capitalization (yes not Yes in middle).

× Well, there are a lot of things that I like to share with the other individuals such as the ideas or the experiences that I faced throughout the day and also my nearer things such as my mobile phone, my toys that I used to play in my childhood and also all other routines activities that I follow.

✓ I like to share many things with others, such as ideas and experiences from my day, my mobile phone, childhood toys, and daily routine items.

The original uses awkward pronouns and phrases ('the other individuals', 'my nearer things'). Replace with 'others' and restructure the list for parallelism: 'ideas and experiences', 'mobile phone', 'childhood toys', 'daily routine items'. Use simple past for 'used to play' or 'childhood toys' as a noun phrase. Maintain concise word order.

× Well, there are a lot of things that are not applicable to share with other individuals such as the mobile phone that is a fulfilled with the all the privacy policy of any individual is not to be able to share with others and also some other personal things such as the clothes that are the inner or some other.

✓ There are many things that are not appropriate to share with others, such as a mobile phone that contains private information and personal items like underwear.

Incorrect prepositions and articles ('applicable to share with', 'fulfilled with the all the privacy policy', 'the clothes that are the inner'). Use 'appropriate to share with', 'contains private information', and correct nouns like 'underwear'. Keep sentences clear and avoid redundant phrasing.

× That is a tradition known as Kachai in India.

✓ That tradition is known as Kachai in India.

Minor word order issue: 'That is a tradition known as Kachai in India' is acceptable but more natural is 'That tradition is known as Kachai in India.' Keep subject and verb close and avoid unnecessary 'is' placement.

× Definitely, yes, I have a lot of things, but the most important that I can share with my friend is my bicycle as I have a eat up from my childhood and I have a lot of memories with these, with this, uh, bicycle.

✓ Yes, I have many things I could share, but the most important is my bicycle because I have had it since childhood and I have many memories with it.

Errors: awkward phrase 'a eat up', tense and article problems. Use present perfect 'have had it since childhood' to show duration. Use 'it' for a single bicycle and avoid disfluencies ('uh').

× And uh, if I get a chance to share this with my friends, then I, I will not, uh, suffer in sharing this as we are close to each other and also we are Keith and Kings.

✓ If I get a chance to share it with my friends, I would not mind because we are close to each other and very good friends.

Pronoun 'this' replaced with 'it' for a single object; 'suffer in sharing' is incorrect—use 'mind' or 'have a problem'. 'Keith and Kings' is unclear; replace with 'very good friends' unless a proper name is intended. Remove fillers ('uh').

× Well, there are a lot of personalities, but if I had to choose a particular person, then he will be Suzhou.

✓ There are many people I could choose, but if I had to pick one it would be Suzhou.

Use 'people' instead of 'personalities' in this context. For conditional 'if I had to choose' use 'would be' instead of 'will be'. Maintain pronoun agreement and natural phrasing.

× That is very close to my heart. And we are together since 5:00 when? Since the age of five.

✓ He is very close to my heart, and we have been friends since the age of five.

Use present perfect 'have been friends since' to indicate an action starting in the past and continuing to the present. 'We are together since' is incorrect tense. Remove unclear time phrase 'since 5:00 when?'.

× And from that time we used to share our daily experiences with each other and also we share a lot of things with each other.

✓ Since then we have shared our daily experiences with each other and we continue to share many things.

Mix of 'used to' and present tense is inconsistent. Use present perfect 'have shared' for actions from past to present, and 'continue to share' for ongoing habit.

× Well, the latest updates about my life I like to share with my friends as that will help us to be more familiar with each other and also we keep we become more closer to each other after sharing our daily thoughts about everyone's life and also we share our daily happening that happened with us and also the deep things.

✓ I like to share recent updates about my life with my friends because it helps us become closer and more familiar with each other. We share daily events and deeper thoughts.

The original is long, repetitive, and ungrammatical ('we keep we become more closer', 'daily happening that happened'). Break into shorter sentences, remove redundancy, correct comparative 'closer' (not 'more closer'), and use parallel noun phrases ('daily events and deeper thoughts').