Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Cải thiện cấu trúc câu và ngữ pháp: tránh lỗi thì và trật tự từ (ví dụ “I had to buy” không hợp lý — nên là “I had one” hoặc “my mother bought me one”). Viết lại câu mở đầu rõ ràng (topic sentence), sau đó thêm 1–2 câu chi tiết cụ thể (khi nào, ai mua, mục đích). Sử dụng liên từ phù hợp (e.g., “because”, “so”, “for example”) để kết nối ý. Giảm số lỗi phát âm/grammatical như ‘two grade’ → ‘second grade’, ‘main miner transport’ → ‘main means of transport’, và loại bỏ từ thừa (‘it was it’). Hãy giữ tối đa 3–4 câu, tự nhiên và súc tích.

Example: Yes, I did. My mother bought me a bicycle when I was in second grade because it made it easier to get around town. I often used it to ride to school and to relax by cycling to nearby parks on weekends.

Suggestion: Làm rõ ý chính và dùng từ vựng phù hợp: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp (Yes, they are) rồi giải thích nguyên nhân với từ vựng chính xác (e.g., “widespread”, “important role”, “means of transport”, “developing country”). Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và trật tự từ như ‘that use advice’ và ‘main menu transport’. Nên thêm 1 câu chi tiết cụ thể hoặc ví dụ (ví dụ: giá rẻ, tiện lợi, ít tắc đường) và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Giữ 2–3 câu, rõ ràng và mạch lạc.

Example: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. They are a common means of transport because they are cheap and convenient, especially in developing areas with narrow streets. For example, many children ride to school and adults use bikes for short errands.

× Of course yes, I had to buy when I was a child.

✓ Of course, I had one when I was a child.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'had to buy' which implies obligation rather than possession; the question asked about having a bike. Use past simple 'had' to indicate possession. Also add a comma after 'Of course' and 'one' as a pronoun for 'bike' to avoid repetition.

× When I was a two grade student my mother bought me a bike in order to help me to travel around the town and use it as a main miner transport to go to school in my free time.

✓ When I was a second-grade student, my mother bought me a bike to help me travel around town and use it as my main means of transport to go to school in my free time.

Use ordinal 'second-grade' rather than 'two grade'; add a comma after the introductory clause. Replace 'in order to help me to travel' with 'to help me travel' (infinitive without extra 'to'). 'Around the town' becomes 'around town' for natural usage. 'Main miner transport' is incorrect—use 'main means of transport' and 'my' to indicate possession.

× Also it was it to travel to the near area in order to get relaxation.

✓ Also, I used it to travel to nearby areas to relax.

Original sentence has redundant and awkward phrasing ('it was it', 'near area', 'get relaxation'). Use concise structure: 'I used it' subject and verb, 'nearby areas' for location, and 'to relax' for purpose.

× Of course, yes, in my country that use advice is really widespread and it plays an important role in people's life because my country is still on the way of developing and people on always use it as main menu transport, especially among children.

✓ Of course. In my country, that practice is really widespread and it plays an important role in people's lives because my country is still developing, and people always use it as a main means of transport, especially among children.

Use 'practice' instead of 'use advice' for intended meaning. Add punctuation and commas for clarity. 'People's life' should be plural 'people's lives'. 'On the way of developing' is awkward; use 'still developing'. Remove extraneous 'on'. 'Main menu transport' is incorrect—use 'main means of transport'. Place adverb 'always' correctly before verb.