Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitation sounds (umm, uh) and fix tense errors (use past tense consistently). For example, say you owned a bike, explain why you didn’t ride it (mother’s concern) and mention any consequence or feeling.

Example: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but I never learned to ride it because my mother was worried I might fall and get hurt. As a result, I mostly walked to school instead of cycling, and I sometimes felt disappointed that I couldn’t join my friends.

Suggestion: Give a direct, confident topic sentence, then support it with one or two clear reasons and a brief example. Avoid repetition and hesitation. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to structure your answer. Also correct phrasing (e.g., 'show off their financial status' once) and simplify wording.

Example: I don’t think bicycles are very popular in my country because many people prefer to buy cars to display their wealth. For example, in my city it is common for families to own at least one car, so cycling is mostly seen as a low-status or recreational activity.

× Indeed, I had a bike when I was a child, but the problem was that I never had an experience to ride my bike.

✓ Indeed, I had a bike when I was a child, but the problem was that I never had the opportunity to ride it.

The original phrase 'never had an experience to ride my bike' is unnatural in English. Use 'had the opportunity to ride it' or 'never learned to ride it.' This fixes word choice and idiomatic usage while keeping past tense consistent.

× Umm, because my mom was a bit of umm, a bit afraid me to ride that bike that I can fall and hurt myself.

✓ Umm, because my mom was a bit, um, afraid of me riding that bike because she thought I could fall and hurt myself.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'afraid me to ride' and has awkward structure. Correct verb-preposition collocation is 'afraid of someone doing something.' Also reorder clause to 'because she thought I could fall and hurt myself' for clarity and correct tense/modal use.

× So I had a bike, but uh, personally I never ride a bike.

✓ So I had a bike, but personally I never rode it.

The main clause refers to past time ('I had a bike'), so the verb should be in past tense: 'never rode it.' Using present tense 'ride' is inconsistent. Also replace 'a bike' with 'it' to refer back to the previously mentioned bike.

× Umm, personally I think I would not say that bikes are popular in my country because umm, in my country people love to show off their financial status and to show their financial status, they are more likely to buy car and expensive cars to show that they are wealthy enough uh, to possess this item.

✓ Umm, personally I would not say that bikes are popular in my country because people like to show off their financial status, and to do that they are more likely to buy cars and expensive vehicles to show that they are wealthy enough to own such items.

Multiple issues: tense and phrasing. Remove redundant 'in my country' and simplify. Use plural 'cars' and 'vehicles' and correct verb agreement 'they are more likely to buy cars.' Replace 'possess this item' with natural 'own such items.' Keep present tense for general statements about habits.