Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Improve clarity, accuracy and coherence. Start with a clear direct topic sentence, correct incorrect vocabulary (e.g. “practice how to write” should be “learn to ride”), remove redundant filler words (uh, um), and limit to 2–4 short sentences. Organize supporting details logically: mention when you got the bike, why your father bought it, and one or two specific benefits or memories. Use linking words (for example, because, so) correctly.

Example: Yes. My father bought me a bicycle when I was 12 because he wanted me to learn to ride. I often rode it at family gatherings, which made outdoor activities more fun. Riding also helped me improve my balance and fitness.

Suggestion: Be more concise and accurate with grammar and vocabulary. Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then support it with specific, coherent reasons and examples. Remove hesitation markers (well, um) and correct plural/singular and article use (e.g. “sharing bike” → “shared bikes”; “people who doesn't” → “people who don't”). Finish the sentence—avoid trailing off. Use linking words (for example, because, also) to connect ideas.

Example: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because shared-bike services have become widespread. Many people use shared bikes when they have limited space at home or need a cheap and quick way to travel short distances. For example, commuters often ride shared bikes to and from the nearest subway station.

× Yes, my father bought me one when I was 12.

✓ Yes, my father bought me one when I was 12.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a past event. Keep using simple past for completed actions in the past.

× He wanted me to practice how to write.

✓ He wanted me to practice how to ride.

The verb 'write' is incorrect in context; the student meant riding a bike. Use the base verb 'ride' with 'to' after 'wanted me' (infinitive). This is not a tense error but a lexical choice; correction keeps past tense 'wanted' consistent.

× So that's when we are all for the family gatherings in the outside, uh, we can have so much more fun because, uh, it can train my body and my balance.

✓ So we all went to family gatherings outdoors then; we could have much more fun because it trained my body and improved my balance.

Multiple issues: incorrect tense and awkward phrasing. 'Are all for the family gatherings in the outside' is ungrammatical. Use past tense 'went' to match 'bought' and 'wanted'. 'Outdoors' is the correct adverb. 'Can' should be 'could' to match past context. 'Train my body and my balance' should be 'trained my body and improved my balance' for clarity and parallel structure.

× Well, umm, that's an interesting questions and my answer is definitely yes, because in my country we now, uh, have a lot of sharing bike.

✓ Well, that's an interesting question, and my answer is definitely yes, because in my country we now have a lot of shared bikes.

Errors: 'questions' should be singular 'question'; 'we now, uh, have' is fine but filler removed; 'sharing bike' is incorrect noun form—use adjective 'shared' plus plural 'bikes'. Also add comma and conjunction punctuation for clarity.

× It's for the people who doesn't have a space for their own bike and it provides convenience for people who need to use bike in any.

✓ They are for people who don't have space for their own bikes, and they provide convenience for people who need to use a bike occasionally.

Subject-verb agreement: 'people' is plural so use 'don't' not 'doesn't'. 'Space' doesn't need 'a' before it here, and 'bike' should be plural 'bikes' when referring generally. 'It' should be 'they' to match plural 'shared bikes'. 'Use bike in any' is ungrammatical; 'use a bike occasionally' or 'when needed' is clearer. This correction fixes agreement, articles, and idiomatic phrasing.