Study— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 答えは明確で専門性があり良いですが、やや詳細が多く冗長に感じられます。自然で効果的にするためには、最初に簡潔な主題文を置き、その後に1つか2つの具体例に絞って話すと良いです。また語彙は適切ですが、句読点的な区切り（短い文）を増やして流暢さと理解しやすさを改善してください。

Example: I work as an architect in Tokyo. I mainly design large-scale buildings, such as skyscrapers and hotel towers. For example, recently I helped design a mixed-use redevelopment that combines retail, offices and residences.

Suggestion: 回答は具体的で情景が浮かびますが、時制の一致（過去形や現在形の使い分け）や語の選択に注意してください。'national scenery'は不自然なので'natural scenery'が適切です。また主題文→補足の構成をもっと明確にするため、短い文でつなぐ表現を使ってください。

Example: I studied at Kobe University, which sits on a mountainside. The campus is surrounded by beautiful natural scenery, so the peaceful atmosphere and stunning views helped me relax and focus on my studies.

Suggestion: 肯定は明確ですが、いくつかの語や表現（'walking press', 'livelihood'）が誤用されています。文を簡潔にし、正しい語彙（例えば 'walking paths' や 'well-stocked library'）を使ってください。また接続語を使って理由を論理的に示すと良いです。

Example: Yes, it is a great place to study. The campus is surrounded by greenery and quiet walking paths, which help students concentrate. In addition, the university has excellent facilities, such as a well-stocked library with quiet study areas and many reference books.

Suggestion: 問題点と希望が明確に述べられていますが、'the the'のような誤字と冗長な表現を避け、理由を簡潔に整理するとより効果的です。因果関係を示す接続詞（so/therefore/which means）を使い、具体的な提案を1つに絞って述べてください。

Example: Because the campus is on a hill, it can be hard to reach in bad weather. I would prefer classrooms to be closer to the main road so students can get to school more easily, arrive less tired and concentrate better in class.

Suggestion: 意図と理由は明確ですが、数カ所の文法ミス（'renowned university'→'renowned universities'）と語順に注意してください。意図を1文で述べ、次に具体的な理由と期待する成果を簡潔に述べると良いです。

Example: I would like to study at a university in the UK, especially in London. I want to develop advanced computational design skills, and many London universities offer cutting-edge courses in digital design and architectural computation, which would help me advance my career.

× I work as an architect at an architecture design office in Tokyo.

✓ I work as an architect at an architectural design office in Tokyo.

Article is not the main issue here; the adjective form is. 'Architecture design office' is awkward: use the adjective 'architectural' to modify 'design office' for natural English. Use 'an architectural design office' rather than 'an architecture design office'. Suggestion: use appropriate adjective forms (architectural) before nouns.

× My responsibility is designing large scale buildings such as skyscrapers, mixed-use redevelopment and hotel towers, and recently I was involved in a redevelopment project that combined retail, offices and residents.

✓ My responsibility is designing large-scale buildings such as skyscrapers, mixed-use redevelopments and hotel towers, and recently I was involved in a redevelopment project that combined retail, offices and residences.

Errors: missing hyphen in 'large-scale', incorrect noun form 'redevelopment' should be plural 'redevelopments' to match 'buildings' list, and 'residents' is the wrong noun for spaces in a building; use 'residences'. Suggestions: hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns, ensure parallel noun forms in lists, and choose correct noun ('residences') for living spaces.

× I studied at Kobe University, which was located on the mountaintop.

✓ I studied at Kobe University, which is located on the mountaintop.

Tense mismatch: talking about the campus location is a general fact still true, so present tense 'is located' is appropriate. 'Was located' implies it is no longer there. Suggestion: use present tense for enduring facts.

× The campus was surrounded by beautiful national scenery, so I enjoyed studying there because the peaceful atmosphere and the stunning views helped me relax and concentrate.

✓ The campus was surrounded by beautiful natural scenery, so I enjoyed studying there because the peaceful atmosphere and the stunning views helped me relax and concentrate.

Word choice error: 'national scenery' is incorrect; 'natural scenery' is intended. Rest of sentence is fine. Suggestion: use correct adjective 'natural' to describe scenery.

× Absolutely yes.

✓ Absolutely.

'Absolutely yes' is redundant and unnatural in this context; a short affirmative 'Absolutely.' or 'Yes, absolutely.' is more natural. Suggestion: use concise affirmatives.

× The school is surrounded by abundant greenery and peaceful walking press so students can concentrate on their work.

✓ The school is surrounded by abundant greenery and peaceful walking paths so students can concentrate on their work.

Wrong word 'walking press' is likely a typo for 'walking paths' or 'walking areas'. Replace with 'walking paths'. Also consider adding a comma before 'so' if desired. Suggestion: check word choice and typos.

× In addition, the school has excellent facilities, for example, a well stocked livelihood that provides quiet study areas and many reference books to help us prepare for exams.

✓ In addition, the school has excellent facilities, for example, a well-stocked library that provides quiet study areas and many reference books to help us prepare for exams.

Multiple errors: 'well stocked' should be hyphenated as 'well-stocked' when before a noun; 'livelihood' is incorrect word choice—use 'library'. Also article use: 'a well-stocked library' is correct. Suggestion: use correct noun 'library' and hyphenate compound adjective.

× My school is located on the top of a hill so it can be difficult to reach in heavy rain or snow.

✓ My school is located on the top of a hill, so it can be difficult to reach in heavy rain or snow.

Main issue is missing comma before 'so' for clarity. Preposition 'on the top of a hill' is acceptable though 'at the top of a hill' is slightly more natural. Suggestion: use 'at the top of a hill' and add a comma before 'so'.

× I would like the the classrooms to be closer to the main road so it would be easier for students to get to school, arrive less tired and concentrate better in lessons.

✓ I would like the classrooms to be closer to the main road so it would be easier for students to get to school, arrive less tired, and concentrate better in lessons.

Typo: duplicated 'the the' should be 'the'. Also add Oxford comma for clarity before 'and'. Suggestion: remove duplicate word and include commas for parallel list items.

× I would like to study at a university in the UK, especially in London because I want to develop more advanced computational design skills in architecture and design.

✓ I would like to study at a university in the UK, especially in London, because I want to develop more advanced computational design skills in architecture and design.

Missing comma before 'because' to separate clauses improves clarity. Tense is appropriate. Suggestion: add comma after 'London'.

× London has many renowned university offering cutting edge courses in digital design and architecture computation, so studying there will help.

✓ London has many renowned universities offering cutting-edge courses in digital design and architectural computation, so studying there will help.

Errors: 'university' should be plural 'universities' to match 'many'; 'cutting edge' should be hyphenated 'cutting-edge' when before a noun; 'architecture computation' is awkward — use 'architectural computation' or 'computational architecture'. Suggestion: ensure noun number agrees with quantifier, hyphenate compound adjectives, and choose the correct compound noun.