Study— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: သင်၏အဖြေသည် သဘာဝကျပြီး ထိရောက်မှုရှိရန် ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ အဆုံးမပြည့်စုံသော စကားလုံးများကို ရှင်းလင်းစွာ ပြောဆိုပါ။

Example: Currently, I work as an assistant in a traditional clothing shop while preparing for my IELTS exam. Although it's my first time balancing both, I am gradually learning to manage my time effectively.

Suggestion: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုတိကျပြီး သဘာဝကျစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ သင်၏အတွေ့အကြုံများကို ပိုမိုအသေးစိတ် ဖော်ပြပါ။

Example: I graduated from the top high school in my city. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I took a two-year gap before continuing my studies at a theological college, as I had limited options for higher education.

Suggestion: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုစည်းလုံးပြီး သဘာဝကျစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ ဆက်စပ်စကားလုံးများကို အသုံးပြုပါ။

Example: Yes, my school is popular due to its experienced teachers and beautiful natural environment. Moreover, the British-built architecture makes it unique compared to other schools in town.

Suggestion: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုတိကျပြီး စည်းလုံးစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ အကြောင်းပြချက်များနှင့် အသေးစိတ် ဖော်ပြပါ။

Example: Although my school has experienced teachers and a great learning environment, the transportation system is poorly organized. As a result, only wealthy students can afford cars, while middle and lower-class students must rely on less convenient options.

Suggestion: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုသေချာပြီး သဘာဝကျစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ အနာဂတ်အစီအစဉ်များကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ဖော်ပြပါ။

Example: In the future, I plan to study architecture and earn my degree by age 26. Afterwards, I will return to my theological college to pursue a master's degree. Ultimately, I aim to become a writer specializing in both secular and theological topics.

× Right now I'm working as an assistant in a traditional clothing shop and also preparing for my IELTS exam. Even though it is my first time balancing both work and study, I gradually learn how to manage my time effectively. I'm.

✓ Right now I'm working as an assistant in a traditional clothing shop and also preparing for my IELTS exam. Even though it is my first time balancing both work and study, I am gradually learning how to manage my time effectively.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'I'm' which is incomplete and causes a sentence structure error. Also, 'I gradually learn' should be 'I am gradually learning' to correctly express the ongoing action in present continuous tense.

× I graduated my high school from #1 busy education high school for one.

✓ I graduated from #1 busy education high school.

The verb 'graduate' is usually followed by 'from' to indicate the institution. The phrase 'my high school' is redundant and 'for one' is unclear and unnecessary here.

× After that, I spent two years as a gap year because of the COVID pandemic.

✓ After that, I took a two-year gap because of the COVID pandemic.

The phrase 'spent two years as a gap year' is incorrect because 'gap year' refers to a single year. Also, 'took a two-year gap' is more appropriate to express the intended meaning.

× After that, I have no much choice about higher education, so I stay connected with theological college.

✓ After that, I had not many choices about higher education, so I stayed connected with the theological college.

The tense should be past ('had' and 'stayed') to match the timeline. 'No much choice' is incorrect; 'not many choices' is correct. Also, 'connected with the theological college' requires the definite article 'the'.

× The building was built by the British so it's unique if we compared to other school in the town.

✓ The building was built by the British, so it's unique compared to other schools in the town.

The phrase 'if we compared to' is incorrect; it should be 'compared to'. Also, 'other school' should be plural 'other schools' to match the comparison.

× Only the rich people can have the car transportation. Well. Middle class and low class students have to go on.

✓ Only rich people can afford car transportation. Well, middle-class and lower-class students have to use other means of transport.

'Have the car transportation' is incorrect; 'afford car transportation' or 'have access to car transportation' is better. Also, 'go on' is incomplete; specifying 'use other means of transport' clarifies the meaning.

× In the future I will study architect and will got degree at my 26 and after that I will come back to my old theological college and I will continue to get master degree and finally I will be a writer for both secular andology.

✓ In the future, I will study architecture and will get my degree at 26. After that, I will return to my old theological college and continue to pursue a master's degree. Finally, I will be a writer for both secular and theology.

'Study architect' should be 'study architecture'. 'Will got' is incorrect; it should be 'will get'. 'At my 26' should be 'at 26'. 'Come back' is better as 'return'. 'Continue to get master degree' should be 'continue to pursue a master's degree'. 'Andology' seems to be a typo for 'theology'.