Music— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with clearer grammar and linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'cheerful and happy' is repetitive) and correct article use ('a happy music' → 'happy music').

Example: I prefer happy music to sad music because it lifts my mood. For example, listening to an upbeat song in the morning usually makes me feel energetic and positive for the rest of the day.

Suggestion: Improve coherence and correct awkward phrases. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid unclear expressions like 'eyesight moment'. Be specific about how melody and beat affect you and limit to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because a strong melody and fast beat make me want to move or dance. As a result, my energy rises and my mood brightens.

Suggestion: Correct grammar (articles, verb forms, tense) and make the sequence clearer. Start with a simple topic sentence, then give concise specific details about what you learned and the result. Use linking words like 'when' and 'so' for coherence.

Example: Yes. I took music classes when I was nine because my mother wanted me to learn guitar and piano. The instructor explained basic music theory and showed me step-by-step techniques, so now I can play both instruments reasonably well.

Suggestion: Make the answer clearer and grammatically correct. Give one main reason and a brief example, using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid unclear phrases ('do a words') and correct subject-verb agreement ('music is').

Example: No, I usually don't. I prefer to work in silence because I need to concentrate fully on important tasks, so I only listen to music during my free time.

× I prefer happy music more than sad music because the music somehow influenced my mood of the day.

✓ I prefer happy music to sad music because music somehow influences my mood during the day.

The original mixes past tense 'influenced' with present preference; use present simple 'influences' to match general truth. Also use 'prefer ... to ...' not 'prefer ... more than ...' and 'music' without 'the'. Use 'during the day' for natural phrasing.

× So after hearing a happy music in early of the day, it will give me a cheerful and also a happy day.

✓ So after hearing happy music early in the day, it gives me a cheerful, happy day.

Use present simple 'gives' for habitual effects. Remove article 'a' before 'happy music' and reorder 'early in the day'. Combine adjectives with a comma and avoid redundant 'also'.

× Yes, happy music does make me more excited especially when you hear the melody and the beat will make you want to move along with the music.

✓ Yes, happy music does make me more excited, especially when the melody and the beat make you want to move along with the music.

Avoid mixing second-person 'you' with wrong verb forms; use present simple 'make' not 'will make' for general statements. Add a comma before 'especially'.

× And by hearing the happy music itself the eyesight moment will increase and also the mood also will be brighten up.

✓ And by listening to happy music, the visual experience seems to increase and the mood also brightens.

Use 'listening to' rather than 'hearing', and 'brightens' (present simple) instead of passive 'will be brighten up'. 'Eyesight moment' is unclear; 'visual experience' is a clearer noun phrase. Avoid redundant 'also'.

× Yes, I have taken a music classes during I was 9 because my mom want me to learn guitar and piano.

✓ Yes, I took music classes when I was nine because my mom wanted me to learn guitar and piano.

Use simple past 'took' and 'wanted' for completed actions. 'Have taken' with a specific past time is incorrect. Use 'music classes' (no article) and 'when I was nine' instead of 'during I was 9'.

× The instructor told me about the background of music and also told me step by step how to use the piano and guitar.

✓ The instructor told me about the background of music and also showed me step by step how to play the piano and the guitar.

Use 'play' instead of 'use' for instruments and 'showed me' fits teaching actions. Add 'the' before instruments optionally; 'play the piano' is idiomatic.

× Right now I know how to play guitar and piano more precisely.

✓ Right now I know how to play the guitar and the piano more accurately.

Use present simple 'know' is fine; change 'more precisely' to 'more accurately' or 'better'. Include articles 'the' before instruments for naturalness.

× No, I am someone who will prefer to concentrate and focus doing my works and things because for me music are good to hear during our leisure time and if you want to do a words but something important it better if you put your focus 100% instead of hearing music doing that the work.

✓ No, I prefer to concentrate on my work because I think music is good for leisure time; if you need to do something important, it is better to focus 100% rather than listen to music while working.

The original is run-on and has many errors: use 'prefer to concentrate on my work', correct subject-verb agreement 'music is', replace 'doing my works and things' with 'my work', and restructure to two clear clauses. Use 'listen to music while working' instead of awkward phrasing.