Music— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and an example. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'cheerful' or 'uplifts') and reduce redundant words like 'more happy' and 'more lively'.

Example: I prefer happy music because it uplifts my mood. For example, upbeat songs with a fast tempo make me feel energetic and help me concentrate when I work.

Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same idea with synonyms. Give one clear effect and briefly explain why it happens. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect cause and effect. Replace vague intensifiers like 'even' with precise descriptions.

Example: Yes, happy music does make me more excited because an upbeat rhythm boosts my energy levels, which helps me feel more confident before presentations.

Suggestion: Be specific about the classes and avoid awkward phrases like 'extra caliber activities' and 'during my summer time.' Use a clear timeframe and one or two details about what you learned. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I took summer music classes at school where I learned basic piano and singing techniques. Those classes helped me improve my rhythm and confidence when performing.

Suggestion: Be concise and specific about which activities and how music helps. Avoid redundancy like 'hectic stresses' and 'several other stressful things.' Use one linking phrase such as 'because' and give an example of a chore.

Example: Yes, I often listen to music while doing household chores because it distracts me from stress. For instance, upbeat playlists make washing dishes more enjoyable and less tiring.

× As far as I'm concerned, I prefer hearing happy music because it uplifts my mood and makes me more happy and more lively.

✓ As far as I'm concerned, I prefer listening to happy music because it uplifts my mood and makes me happier and more lively.

Use the adverb form 'listening' (verb + -ing) or the gerund 'listening to' instead of 'hearing' when referring to intentionally enjoying music; this matches natural collocation. 'More happy' is non-idiomatic; use the comparative adjective 'happier'. Keep 'more lively' as it is correct.

× Undoubtedly, lively music makes me feel more energetic as well as excited because hearing happy music makes me more confident and even highly motivated.

✓ Undoubtedly, lively music makes me feel more energetic and excited because listening to happy music makes me more confident and even highly motivated.

Use the conjunction 'and' rather than 'as well as' for parallel adjectives in this context for smoother style. Replace 'hearing' with 'listening to' because 'listening to' implies active enjoyment; 'hearing' is passive.

× Yes, definitely. When I was in school, my school offered a lot of extra caliber activities which involved music classes, so I enrolled in that during my summer time.

✓ Yes, definitely. When I was in school, my school offered a lot of extracurricular activities that included music classes, so I enrolled in them during my summer break.

'Extra caliber activities' is incorrect word choice; the correct term is 'extracurricular activities'. 'Which involved' is acceptable but 'that included' is clearer. 'Enrolled in that' is wrong because 'that' is singular while 'activities' is plural; use 'them'. 'Summer time' is non-idiomatic here; use 'summer break'.

× Yes, I do listen to music while doing my other chores because music actually helps me to keep my mind off other hectic stresses and several other stressful things.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while doing my other chores because music actually helps me keep my mind off stressful things.

The phrase 'helps me to keep my mind off' can omit 'to' for conciseness: 'helps me keep'. 'Other hectic stresses and several other stressful things' is redundant and wordy; simplify to 'stressful things'. Also 'do listen' can be simplified to 'listen' in spoken answers.