Tidiness— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and unfinished sentences. For example, start with a direct statement about liking tidiness, then explain briefly why it was difficult during college and how it is easier now.

Example: Yes, I enjoy keeping things tidy. However, while I was at college it was hard to stay organized because of a busy schedule, so I could only tidy up when I returned. Now that I have finished college, I find it much easier to maintain a neat home.

Suggestion: Give a clearer, logically connected response: state whether you kept your room tidy, then explain the role of your mother and how that influenced you. Use past tense consistently and avoid contradictory statements.

Example: I didn't always keep my room tidy as a young child, but my mother often helped me organize my things. Watching her taught me good habits, and by the time I was older I usually kept my room fairly tidy.

Suggestion: Be specific and concise: start with one clear method, then give a brief reason with a linking word. Avoid repeating the same point. Mention concrete examples of how you arrange items.

Example: I organize my study space by using separate containers for pens, notebooks and electronics. This way I can find items quickly and avoid clutter, so I waste less time looking for things.

Suggestion: Give a direct opinion then support it with one or two specific reasons. Avoid gender-generalizations unless you explain why they matter to you. Use linking words to connect ideas.

Example: Yes, I believe being tidy is important because a clean environment makes it easier to focus and improves your mood. For example, I feel more motivated to work when my room is organized and free of distractions.

× Yes, I love keeping things tidy but managing the college time and keeping rooms and house tidy is very difficult but I make sure that when I come back from college I tidy up my things now that I my college is finished, it's easier for me to keep my.

✓ Yes, I love keeping things tidy, but managing college and keeping my room and house tidy was very difficult. I made sure that when I came back from college I tidied up my things. Now that my college is finished, it's easier for me to keep them tidy.

The original contains run-on sentences, repetition and missing or incorrect words ('the college time', 'rooms and house', 'now that I my college'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Improve by splitting into clear sentences, using correct noun phrases ('college', 'my room and house'), consistent tense, and correct pronouns ('them'). Use commas and periods to separate ideas.

× As a child I don't really remember keeping my things tidy, but my mom helped me keep things tidy.

✓ As a child I didn't really remember keeping my things tidy, but my mom helped me keep them tidy.

The clause refers to past time ('As a child') so present 'don't' is incorrect; use past 'didn't' (ID 5). Also pronoun repetition: use 'them' for clarity. Use consistent past tense when describing childhood memories.

× So looking at her growing up, I used to keep my things tidy.

✓ So seeing how she kept things while I was growing up, I used to keep my things tidy.

The phrase 'looking at her growing up' is awkward and unclear. Adjust to 'seeing how she kept things while I was growing up' to maintain past meaning (ID 5). 'Used to' correctly indicates habitual past; ensure surrounding phrasing matches past tense.

× I arrange things separately for studying tools.

✓ I arrange my study materials separately.

Awkward noun phrase 'studying tools' and incomplete idea; restructure for clarity (ID 26). Use 'study materials' and include possessive 'my' for specificity.

× I keep it separately so that I do not have to go and find it later and it is easier for me to find and other steps.

✓ I keep them separate so that I do not have to look for them later; it is easier for me to find things this way.

Pronoun 'it' is incorrect for plural 'things' and 'separately' misused; change to 'them' and 'separate'. The sentence was also run-on; split into two for clarity (ID 12). Use appropriate verbs: 'look for' rather than 'go and find'.

× I keep it separately so that the things don't mix up and make me wonder where I keep it.

✓ I keep them separate so that the things don't get mixed up and I don't have to wonder where I put them.

Use plural pronoun 'them' instead of 'it'. Use passive 'get mixed up' and correct verb 'put' for placing objects (ID 12). Avoid repetition and correct word order for clarity.

× Yes, it is necessary to be tidy and also as a girl keeping things tidy is very important because if your place, if the place that you live has tidied up, you feel motivated and happy.

✓ Yes, it is necessary to be tidy. As a girl, keeping things tidy is very important because if your living space is tidy, you feel motivated and happy.

Original is a run-on with awkward clauses and incorrect passive phrase 'has tidied up'. Restructure into two sentences and use 'living space is tidy' for correct adjective usage (ID 26). Add commas and correct verb form 'is tidy' for clarity.