Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 문법과 시제 사용을 고쳐야 합니다. 과거 경험을 말할 때는 과거 시제를 사용하고, 문장을 더 간결하게 만드세요. 또한 이유를 말할 때 구체적인 활동(예: 놀기, 소풍, 산책)을 포함하면 좋습니다. 연결어를 사용해 이유를 자연스럽게 이어보세요.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because I often went there with my parents. We used to have picnics and play games, which made those visits happy and memorable.

Suggestion: 문법(관사, 동사 형태)과 어순을 다듬으세요. 감정이나 활동을 더 구체적으로 설명하고 이유와 행동을 연결하는 연결어를 사용하세요. 문장은 2~3개로 간결하게 유지하세요.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relieve stress. When I feel overwhelmed, I go for a walk or sit quietly to breathe and relax.

Suggestion: 발음 실수(예: 'MO'?)와 문장 구조를 정리하세요. 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적 이유와 예상 효과(예: 건강, 공기질 개선)를 제시하면 설득력이 높아집니다. 연결어로 이유와 결과를 명확히 연결하세요.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are few green spaces and many buildings. More parks would improve air quality and give residents places to relax and exercise.

Suggestion: 자연스럽지 않은 표현과 어색한 문장 연결을 개선하세요. ‘I am’ 같은 불필요한 표현을 제거하고 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 예시(호수, 강)를 자연스럽게 연결해 말하면 더 좋습니다.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit the parks along the Han River because I enjoy watching water. For example, I find rivers and lakes calming, so I think Han River Park would be very relaxing.

× Yes, I like going to parks when I was a child because it is happy time for a childhood because with going with my parents it is.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child because it was a happy time in my childhood, especially when I went with my parents.

Tense inconsistency: 'like' is present but referring to past childhood, so use past 'liked' and 'was'. Sentence structure and word choice: 'happy time for a childhood' is unnatural; use 'a happy time in my childhood'. 'with going with my parents it is' is ungrammatical; replace with 'especially when I went with my parents'. Improve by keeping past tense and using natural noun phrases.

× Yes, I still like going to park because it is chance for really release my stress when I feel stressed.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park because it is a chance to really relieve my stress when I feel stressed.

Incorrect verb form and missing articles: 'going to park' needs the definite article 'the park'. 'chance for really release my stress' wrongly combines 'for' with base verb; use 'a chance to really relieve my stress'. 'release' should be 'relieve' in this context. Suggestion: use 'a chance to' + base verb and correct verb choice.

× So when I feel stressed I going to park for walking or breathing.

✓ So when I feel stressed, I go to the park to walk or get some fresh air.

Missing auxiliary/verb: 'I going' lacks the main verb; use 'I go'. 'to park' needs 'the park'. 'for walking or breathing' is awkward; use infinitive purpose 'to walk' or natural phrase 'get some fresh air'. Also add comma after subordinate clause.

× Yes I would because in cities there are few green spaces and more building so many people don't enjoy nature so I think it would MO build more park.

✓ Yes, I would, because in cities there are few green spaces and many buildings, so many people don't enjoy nature; I think we should build more parks.

Wrong quantifier and count nouns: 'more building' should be 'many buildings'. 'few green spaces' is okay. 'it would MO build more park' is unintelligible; likely meant 'we should build more parks' — use modal 'should' and plural 'parks'. Also punctuation to clarify clauses.

× Yes I am. I want to go park around the Han River because I enjoy watching uh water for example lake or river. So I want to go Han River park.

✓ Yes, I do. I want to go to the parks around the Han River because I enjoy watching water, such as lakes or rivers. So I want to visit Han River Park.

Wrong auxiliary reply: use 'Yes, I do' not 'Yes I am' for liking/intent. Missing preposition 'to' in 'go to the park(s)'. 'watching uh water for example lake or river' is ungrammatical; use 'watching water, such as lakes or rivers'. 'go Han River park' needs 'visit Han River Park' and proper article/capitalization. Suggest using appropriate auxiliary, prepositions, and pluralization.