Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid filled pauses (uh, um), and finish your thought (e.g., complete the idea about insects). Use linking words to organize ideas (for example, 'and' or 'also'). Include one or two specific details and keep it under five sentences.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often explored plants and played among the flowers and trees, and I enjoyed watching insects closely. For example, I used to catch butterflies and learn their colors, although I later discovered some insects can be harmful.

Suggestion: Start with a direct answer and avoid repetition (‘memories’ twice) and filler words. Complete the final clause (your sentence about your wife). Use linking words like 'however' correctly — place them to contrast ideas. Add one short specific detail about how parks benefit you now.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they remind me of my childhood. However, I rarely go with friends these days; usually my wife accompanies me when we walk there for exercise and relaxation.

Suggestion: Answer directly and remove fillers. Use clear linking words (for example, 'because' or 'and') and complete your final thought (what break? from busy life). Give one specific reason or benefit and keep within five sentences.

Example: Definitely — I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and improve air quality. In addition, parks offer a calm, serene atmosphere and a much-needed break from busy urban life.

Suggestion: Use correct tense (want/would like rather than 'wanted') and reduce fillers. State clearly which place and give a specific reason why you want to go (what interests you). Use linking words like 'because' and finish the comparison or impression you mention.

Example: In the near future, I would like to visit the National Zoo in Canberra because I have never been there and I am curious about its wildlife exhibits. My friends’ photos on social media make it look very interesting, especially the native animal enclosures.

× It was really fun going to park during my childhood days because I used to get, uh, opportunity to explore the nature, play with flowers, play with leaves, trees, more so with some of the insects.

✓ It was really fun going to parks during my childhood because I used to get the opportunity to explore nature, play with flowers and leaves, climb trees, and observe some insects.

Errors: missing plural for 'park' (should be 'parks') and missing article 'the' before 'opportunity' and unnecessary 'the' before 'nature'. Also sentence lists actions without proper conjunctions and verbs: add 'and' and 'climb' for clarity. Suggestion: use plural for general places, include 'the' for a specific noun like 'opportunity', omit 'the' before uncountable 'nature', and connect items with commas and 'and' for smooth flow.

× However, I did not know that some of the insects were quite.

✓ However, I did not know that some of the insects could be harmful.

The original sentence ends with 'were quite' which is incomplete and lacks a complement. To correct, supply an adjective or phrase that completes the idea (for example 'could be harmful' or 'were dangerous'). Suggestion: always ensure verbs like 'were' are followed by adjectives or nouns to complete the thought.

× Of course, going to park now, even at this age, reconnects, uh, my memories with the childhood, uh, memories.

✓ Of course, going to parks now, even at this age, reconnects my memories with my childhood.

Use plural 'parks' for general reference and avoid redundant repetition of 'memories'. Use 'my childhood' rather than 'the childhood memories'. Suggestion: remove fillers and redundancy for clarity and use plural for general places.

× And for now, umm, I don't get uh, friends to go with me.

✓ And for now, I don't have friends to go with me.

'Get friends' is unidiomatic; use 'have friends' or 'find friends'. 'Get' plus noun is incorrect here. Suggestion: use 'have' to indicate possession/companionship or 'find' if meaning inability to arrange companions.

× However my wife is always there to.

✓ However, my wife is always there for me.

The sentence ends with 'to' which is incomplete; the correct idiom is 'there for me' meaning supportive. Suggestion: use complete prepositional phrase 'there for me'.

× Definitely, uh, having more parks in my city would add uh, more for not only for myself but for the people living there.

✓ Definitely, having more parks in my city would benefit not only me but also the people living there.

Original has redundant 'for' and awkward structure 'add more for not only for myself'. Use verb 'benefit' or phrase 'add value' and correct correlative structure 'not only... but also...'. Suggestion: use parallel structure with 'not only... but also...' and avoid repeated prepositions.

× It is going to give calm and serene atmosphere.

✓ It is going to give a calm and serene atmosphere.

Countable singular noun 'atmosphere' needs the indefinite article 'a'. Suggestion: include 'a' before singular countable nouns modified by adjectives.

× Uh, uh, giving uh, break from the.

✓ It would also provide a break from the busy city life.

Original is a fragment missing subject and object; 'break from the' is incomplete. Provide a complete noun phrase such as 'a break from the busy city life' to convey meaning. Suggestion: complete fragments by adding subject and object.

× In the near future, I wanted to visit, uh, the national, uh, Australian Zoo located in Canberra because there, uh, I have never been there, but, uh, according to the social media and the memories shared by my friends, looks like that.

✓ In the near future, I want to visit the National Zoo in Canberra because I have never been there, but according to social media and memories shared by my friends, it looks amazing.

Mixed tenses: 'In the near future' requires present or future intention ('want' or 'would like'), not past 'wanted'. Remove redundant 'there' and capitalize or use consistent name 'National Zoo' (avoid 'national, Australian Zoo'). 'Looks like that' is ungrammatical; use 'it looks amazing' or similar. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with future intention, remove fillers, and use a clear descriptive clause.