Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be clearer, more accurate and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct word choices (park not bar), use simple past consistently, and give one or two specific supporting details linked by a connector (e.g., 'for example' or 'also'). Keep answers under five sentences.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. For example, my friends and I would run around, play hide-and-seek and climb trees. These outings made me feel happy and free.

Suggestion: Answer directly and avoid confusing word choices. Use present simple for habits and give a clear reason with a linking word (e.g., 'because' or 'so'). Avoid repetition and fillers. Keep it concise (2–3 sentences).

Example: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because they can be noisy, and I prefer quieter places like cafés where I can relax or read.

Suggestion: Good direct answer and reason. Improve by using more precise vocabulary and one clear example of benefits, and remove fillers. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas.

Example: Yes, I would. More parks in my neighborhood would improve air quality and give people a pleasant place to exercise and relax. For example, a small park near my flat would make weekend walks more enjoyable.

Suggestion: Clarify meaning and correct vocabulary. Start with a direct statement naming the park, explain why you want to go using clear reasons and linking words, and avoid unclear words (e.g., 'tumor'). Keep it to two or three sentences and give a specific detail such as activities you plan to do.

Example: Yes. My sister and I plan to go to the Aqua Park near our neighborhood because the weather is very hot, and the water rides are a great way to cool off and relax.

× Yes I did when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a child.

This sentence is already correct in tense but needs a comma after 'Yes' for naturalness. Use past tense 'did' to match 'when I was a child'. Add comma to separate discourse particle from clause.

× I love going to bars and going to my friends to running around the parks and sometime climbing trees is something yeah make me blessed.

✓ I loved going to parks with my friends, running around and sometimes climbing trees; those things made me feel blessed.

Multiple problems: verb forms and tense consistency. The original mixes present 'love' with past context; use past 'loved' to match 'as a child'. Remove incorrect infinitive phrase 'to running' — use gerund 'running'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Make me blessed' is unidiomatic; use 'made me feel blessed'. Also simplify 'going to my friends' to 'with my friends'.

× No, I don't love to go into bars.

✓ No, I don't like going to parks anymore.

The student likely intended to contrast childhood parks with current feelings. 'Don't love to go into bars' is incorrect vocabulary and preposition. Use 'don't like going to parks anymore' to express present preference. Also use gerund after 'like'.

× I I feel myself adult enough to go to these areas because, uh, sometimes it is too noisy and I prefer to go to quieter places such as cafe or quiet.

✓ I feel mature enough to go to those places because sometimes they are too noisy, and I prefer quieter places such as a cafe.

'I feel myself adult enough' is incorrect reflexive pronoun use; use 'I feel mature/adult enough'. 'These areas' may be 'those places'. 'It is too noisy' should refer to 'they' (parks). 'such as cafe or quiet' is incorrect; use 'such as a cafe' or 'quiet cafes'.

× Yes, I would like to see them around my neighborhood, around my city, because they add more relaxation to the environment and make it more, uh, comfortable when you see them.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my neighborhood and city because they make the environment more relaxing and comfortable to see.

Phrase 'add more relaxation to the environment' is awkward. Use adjective 'relaxing' after 'more' or 'make the environment more relaxing'. Keep modal 'would like' is fine. Ensure noun 'parks' explicit and avoid redundant 'around my neighborhood, around my city'.

× Yes, my sister and I belong to going to Aqua, but it is uh, near our neighborhood.

✓ Yes, my sister and I plan to go to Aqua Park, which is near our neighborhood.

'Belong to going' is incorrect; use 'plan to go' or 'are going'. Also clarify 'Aqua' to 'Aqua Park' and use relative clause 'which is near our neighborhood'.

× Uh, because this tumor is uh, too hot, we decide to go to Aqua Park.

✓ Because the weather is too hot, we decided to go to Aqua Park.

'This tumor' is incorrect word choice — likely meant 'summer' or 'weather'. Use 'the weather' or 'it is too hot'. Tense should be past 'decided' if discussing a past decision, or present 'decide' for present/future. Here past fits context. Fix word choice and verb tense.

× It is more relaxation.

✓ It is more relaxing.

'More relaxation' is a noun phrase where an adjective is needed to describe the park's effect. Use comparative adjective 'more relaxing' or simply 'relaxing'.