Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Câu trả lời đã nêu lý do và chi tiết, nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp (số nhiều/ít, cấu trúc mơ hồ) và diễn đạt lặp từ. Nên dùng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, theo sau bằng 1–2 câu hỗ trợ cụ thể (ví dụ: hoạt động bạn làm, kỷ niệm đặc biệt). Tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi chia động từ/định từ (friends, our relationship became closer).

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I could spend quality time with my family and my friends. For example, we often had picnics and played games together, and those afternoons created many happy memories that brought us closer.

Suggestion: Câu trả lời có ý tốt nhưng chứa nhiều tiếng ơ, từ không chính xác (patient, cozy ear) và cấu trúc câu lặp. Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh tiếng ngập ngừng và dùng từ chính xác (enjoy taking photos, a peaceful escape). Thêm liên từ để nối ý và một ví dụ cụ thể về khi nào hoặc nơi nào bạn đi.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks nowadays because I like taking photos of the scenery and breathing fresh air. For instance, after a busy workday I often walk to the nearby park to relax and take pictures to post on Instagram.

Suggestion: Ý chính rõ nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp (plural/singular, word choice: parks vs perks, neighborhoods) và ngập ngừng. Nên dùng cấu trúc mạch lạc: nêu ý chính, đưa ví dụ cụ thể, giải thích lý do và đề xuất cải thiện. Chú ý dùng từ vựng phù hợp (senior citizens, well-equipped) và nối câu bằng liên từ.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because the existing ones are small and mainly designed for children. For example, the local park near my neighborhood is tiny and lacks facilities for adults and seniors, so I hope the city will create larger, well-equipped parks suitable for people of all ages.

Suggestion: Câu trả lời ngắn, có nhiều ngập ngừng và lỗi cấu trúc (word order, tense). Nên trả lời trực tiếp, nêu lý do cụ thể và một chi tiết bổ sung (hoạt động muốn làm ở đó). Tránh lặp từ và dùng thì đúng (haven't visited before).

Example: In the future I would like to visit Kung Fu National Park because I want to see its wide-open landscapes and take photographs. I haven't been there before, but I imagine hiking the trails and capturing sunrise shots over the valleys.

× When I was a child, I liked going to parks because I could spend time with my family and hang out with my friend.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to parks because I could spend time with my family and hang out with my friends.

Use plural 'friends' if you mean more than one friend or to match general statement; if you meant one specific friend, keep 'my friend'. Clarify number to be consistent.

× We often had picnics or had deep conversations which helped us become which have our relationship become closer and create memories.

✓ We often had picnics or deep conversations, which helped our relationship become closer and allowed us to create memories.

The original has redundant and ungrammatical phrases ('which helped us become which have our relationship become closer'). Combine clauses using a relative clause 'which' to refer to the preceding activities, use 'helped our relationship become closer' and parallel verb 'allowed us to create memories' for clarity.

× Now I still like going to parks because of umm uh, patient for taking photos.

✓ Now I still like going to parks because they are good places for taking photos.

'Patient' is incorrect here; likely meant 'a place' or 'good for'. Replace with 'good places' and use plural 'parks' to match context.

× Whenever I go to parks, I will snap for some photos to post on social platforms like Facebook or TikTok because of the beautiful scenery of the parks and I can feel the fresh air.

✓ Whenever I go to parks, I snap some photos to post on social platforms like Facebook or TikTok because of the beautiful scenery and the fresh air.

Use simple present 'snap' for habitual actions; remove unnecessary 'for' after 'snap'; simplify 'because of the beautiful scenery of the parks and I can feel the fresh air' to parallel nouns 'the beautiful scenery and the fresh air'.

× The cozy ear after busy days of, uh, schedules.

✓ They are a cozy escape after busy schedules.

Original phrase 'The cozy ear' is unintelligible; likely 'cozy ear' was meant as 'cozy escape' or 'cozy area'. Use full sentence with subject 'They' (parks) and correct noun 'escape' to convey meaning.

× Frankly speaking, my city doesn't have many parks for people from every age.

✓ Frankly speaking, my city doesn't have many parks for people of every age.

Use preposition 'of' with 'every age' to indicate age range: 'people of every age' is the correct idiom.

× For example, there is a small local parks near my neighborhoods but it's umm not enough big and only suitable for children.

✓ For example, there is a small local park near my neighborhood, but it's not big enough and is only suitable for children.

Use singular 'park' to match 'there is'; 'neighborhood' singular fits 'my neighborhood'; adjective order 'not big enough' is correct; include verb 'is' before 'only suitable'.

× So in the future I want to see more parks in my city for UH. Have bigger perks and have more qualities for all people from old age.

✓ So in the future I want to see more parks in my city that are bigger and better suited for people of all ages, including older adults.

Replace fragment 'Have bigger perks and have more qualities' with a relative clause 'that are bigger and better suited'; use 'people of all ages' and explicitly mention 'older adults' if intended. 'Perks' is incorrect word here.

× In the future I want to go to uh, Kung Fu National Park because uh, I, I want to see the, umm, wide scenery and have more photos about the place where I didn't. Visit before.

✓ In the future I want to go to Kung Fu National Park because I want to see the wide scenery and take more photos of a place I haven't visited before.

Remove filler pauses and repeated pronouns; use 'take more photos of' instead of 'have more photos about'; correct tense to present perfect 'haven't visited before' to indicate prior non-visit.