Views— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 답변이 자연스럽고 감정이 잘 드러나지만 문장 구조와 어휘 사용에서 반복과 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 예를 들어 'preserve, preserve this moment'와 'A fascinated moment'는 부자연스럽고, 'was caught up by' 대신 'was captivated by'가 더 적절합니다. 또한 주제문 다음에 간결한 이유와 하나의 구체적 예시(언제, 어디서 어떤 장면이었는지)를 덧붙이면 내용이 풍부해집니다. 문장은 3~4문장으로 유지하고 중복 표현을 피하세요.

Example: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. Recently I went camping with my parents and I was captivated by the stunning landscape, so I took several photos to capture the moment. For instance, I photographed a golden sunset over a quiet lake, which looked especially peaceful. I like keeping these images to remember the trip.

Suggestion: 의미 전달은 되지만 문법과 어휘 선택, 중복 표현('calms calms me down')에서 문제가 있습니다. 'I appreciate a piece'는 잘못된 표현이고 'I appreciate the peace'가 적절합니다. 주제문을 분명히 하고, 이유(예: 소음이 적고 자연 소리가 편안함)와 구체적 예시(어떤 경치나 활동 때문에 편한지)를 한두 문장으로 추가하세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 논리를 명확히 하세요.

Example: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I enjoy peace and quiet in nature. For example, standing in a wide field and watching a small stream flow by helps me relax far more than busy city streets. Because there is less noise and more open space, I feel calmer in the countryside.

Suggestion: 문법 오류와 어순 문제가 많습니다('I am now found that','is as fascinating','Than the ones...'). 또한 응답이 장황하고 중복되어 있습니다. 간결한 주제문을 제시한 뒤 이유(예: 문화적 친숙함, 접근성)와 구체적 예시(특정 장소나 경험)를 덧붙이세요. 비교문을 쓸 때는 'as ... as'나 'more/less ... than' 구조를 정확히 사용하세요.

Example: At the moment I prefer views in my own country because I feel more familiar with the landscapes and culture. For example, after camping with my parents I discovered many beautiful local mountains and lakes that surprised me. I find these familiar scenes just as impressive as views abroad, and they are easier to visit.

× Yes, I've recently been to camping with my parents and there I was caught up by the stunning views and I couldn't help myself but to take my phone out and take photos, right? And to preserve, preserve this moment. A fascinated moment.

✓ Yes, I've recently been camping with my parents, and I was caught up by the stunning views so I couldn't help myself but take my phone out and take photos to preserve the moment.

The phrase 'been to camping' is incorrect; use 'been camping' or 'have gone camping'. 'Caught up by' is better as 'caught up in' or simply 'was caught up by' adjusted to 'was caught up by the stunning views' works but smoothing the sentence improves clarity. 'Couldn't help myself but to take' should be 'couldn't help myself but take' (omit 'to' after 'but'). 'A fascinated moment' is incorrect adjective use; use 'a fascinating moment' or simply 'the moment'. Suggestion: use natural collocations: 'been camping', 'couldn't help but take', 'preserve the moment', and avoid short fragments.

× I prefer views in rural areas to urban views since I appreciate a piece when I'm standing in the middle of the field watching the streams going down.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas to urban views since I appreciate peace when I'm standing in the middle of a field watching the streams flow down.

'Appreciate a piece' is a typo; should be 'appreciate peace'. 'The field' is too specific; 'a field' is more natural. 'Streams going down' is awkward; use 'streams flow down' or 'streams flowing down'. Suggest using correct word 'peace' and natural verb forms: 'a field' and 'streams flow'.

× It just calms calms me down.

✓ It just calms me down.

There is a repeated word 'calms calms' which is a redundancy. Remove the duplicate. Also 'calms me down' is natural; avoid repetition.

× I prefer views in my own country now. The experience of camping with my parents broadened my sight and I am now found that the views in my own country is as fascinating and amazing.

✓ I prefer views in my own country now. The experience of camping with my parents broadened my perspective and I have found that the views in my own country are just as fascinating and amazing.

'Broadened my sight' is unnatural; use 'broadened my perspective' or 'my view'. 'I am now found' is ungrammatical; correct is 'I have found'. Subject-verb agreement: 'views ... is' should be 'views ... are'. Use 'just as' for comparisons: 'just as fascinating and amazing'. Ensure present perfect 'have found' fits with 'now'.

× Than the ones in foreign country.

✓ They are as fascinating as the ones in foreign countries.

This fragment 'Than the ones in foreign country.' is a sentence fragment and lacks a subject and verb. It also has article and number issues: use 'foreign countries' or 'a foreign country' and include comparison structure 'as ... as'. Combine with previous sentence or rewrite as a complete sentence: 'They are as fascinating as the ones in foreign countries.'