Views— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 문장이 자연스럽고 의도는 분명하지만 발화에 중복 표현(‘I say’, ‘you know’)과 어색한 관용구(‘a beautiful scenery’)가 있어 자연스러움을 떨어뜨립니다. 주제문을 더 명확히 하고 연결어를 사용해 이유를 더 구체적으로 서술하세요. 또한 문장 수를 3문장 이내로 줄여 간결하게 표현하면 좋습니다. 예: 주제문 → 이유 → 구체적 예 순으로 구성하고 ‘capture the moment’, ‘remind me of’ 같은 표현을 정확히 사용하세요.

Example: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially when I encounter a beautiful scene. I take pictures to capture the moment and preserve the feelings I had at that time. For example, after visiting a sunset spot last month, the photos help me remember the calm and warmth I experienced.

Suggestion: 뜻은 전달되지만 여러 문법·어휘 오류(‘real areas’→‘rural areas’, 어순·관사 문제, 동사형 부족)가 있습니다. 주제문을 바로 제시하고 대비를 표현할 때는 연결어를 명확히 사용하세요(‘although’, ‘whereas’). 구체적 이유와 간단한 예를 덧붙여 문장을 2~3문장으로 정돈하세요.

Example: I definitely prefer rural areas to urban ones because the countryside is quieter and has more natural scenery. Although cities are lively and convenient, people there often seem rushed and stressed, which makes me prefer peaceful landscapes.

Suggestion: 요지는 잘 전달되지만 말 더듬음(‘umm’, ‘uh’), 어휘 실수(‘perspect’→‘a fresh perspective’)와 불필요한 반복이 있습니다. 핵심 이유를 하나로 정하고 구체적 설명 또는 예를 덧붙이세요. 말 더듬음을 피하려면 잠깐의 정지로 생각을 정리한 뒤 자연스럽게 이어가세요.

Example: I prefer views in other countries because being a stranger gives me a fresh perspective and makes me notice details I would overlook at home. For instance, when I travelled abroad last year, I appreciated local architecture and daily life patterns that I rarely consider at home.

× I say I like taking photos of different views, especially when I see a beautiful scenery.

✓ I would say I like taking photos of different views, especially when I see beautiful scenery.

The sentence uses 'I say' awkwardly; 'I would say' is a natural present-tense hedging phrase. 'A beautiful scenery' is incorrect because 'scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not take the article 'a'. Use 'beautiful scenery' instead.

× I want to capture the moment and you know, taking pictures can remind of the event and the emotions that I had back then.

✓ I want to capture the moment, and you know, taking pictures can remind me of the event and the emotions I felt back then.

The verb 'remind' requires an object (who is reminded), so add 'me'. 'That I had back then' is awkward; 'I felt back then' is a clearer past-tense expression for emotions.

× I say I definitely prefer scenery in real areas.

✓ I would say I definitely prefer scenery in rural areas.

The speaker likely meant 'rural' not 'real'. Also 'scenery in rural areas' is the correct prepositional phrase. 'I say' is awkward; 'I would say' is more natural.

× Although I like the lively and a busy atmosphere of cities, people there often seem rush and stressed.

✓ Although I like the lively and busy atmosphere of cities, people there often seem rushed and stressed.

Do not use both 'the' and 'a' together before 'busy atmosphere'; choose 'the lively and busy atmosphere'. 'Seem rush' is wrong; use the past participle adjectives 'rushed' and 'stressed' to describe people's state.

× Compared to that in the countryside there are more nature.

✓ Compared to the countryside, there is more nature there.

Original word order is confusing. 'Nature' is uncountable, so use 'more nature' and place 'there' appropriately: 'Compared to the countryside, there is more nature there.' Better: 'There is more nature in the countryside.'

× I prefer views in other countries. That's mainly because I can be a total stranger.

✓ I prefer views in other countries. That's mainly because I can be a total stranger there.

Add 'there' to clarify location. Tense is fine but sentence needs the locational adverb to make sense.

× That means I have, umm, perspect, uh, fresh perspective to observe things that I might ignore in my own country.

✓ That means I have, umm, a fresh perspective to observe things that I might ignore in my own country.

Remove the misheard fragment 'perspect, uh' and add the article 'a' before 'fresh perspective'. The rest of the clause is fine.