Singing— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is heartfelt and relevant, but it can be more natural and concise. Avoid short, incomplete sentences like 'Actually.' and try to connect ideas smoothly. Also, finish your thoughts completely to avoid abrupt endings.

Example: Yes, I love singing because it has been a big part of my life since childhood. Growing up in a Christian family, I often participated in worship through music, which inspired me to join choirs and develop my singing skills.

Suggestion: Your answer provides good information but ends abruptly and lacks linking words. Try to complete your sentences and use connectors to make your response more coherent and natural.

Example: Yes, I have learned how to sing since I was very young. When I was eight, I joined my school's choir, and the choir master coached me well, helping me find my vocal range as a soprano.

Suggestion: Your answer is clear and meaningful, but try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, keep sentences concise and avoid repetition.

Example: I want to sing for the Lord to praise and glorify Him. One day, I hope to worship alone in church without any choir or coaching, and eventually, I want to teach others who are like I was when I started.

Suggestion: Your answer has good ideas but is incomplete and contains filler words like 'umm'. Try to finish your thoughts fully and use linking words to make your response more coherent and natural. Avoid redundancy and be specific.

Example: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness, especially to those feeling sad or depressed. For example, when my mother was feeling down, I would sing to her, and it always helped improve her mood.

× Actually. I love singing because I've been grown up in a Christian family where they usually worship and praise the Lord only by singing and by music.

✓ Actually, I love singing because I grew up in a Christian family where they usually worship and praise the Lord only by singing and music.

The original sentence has a sentence fragment ('Actually.') and uses an incorrect verb form 'I've been grown up'. The correct past tense form is 'I grew up'. Also, 'by singing and by music' is better expressed as 'by singing and music' for smoother flow.

× I've participated in choirs and.

✓ I've participated in choirs.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and' without completing the thought, which is a sentence structure error. Removing 'and' completes the sentence properly.

× Yes, I've learned how to sing from a very young age.

✓ Yes, I learned how to sing from a very young age.

Using present perfect 'I've learned' is less appropriate here because the action is completed in the past at a specific time ('from a very young age'). Simple past 'I learned' fits better.

× He helped me choose my range of vocals, especially I was in soprano, so.

✓ He helped me choose my vocal range, especially since I was a soprano.

The original sentence is awkward and incomplete. 'Range of vocals' is better expressed as 'vocal range'. The phrase 'especially I was in soprano, so' is unclear and incomplete; rephrasing to 'especially since I was a soprano' clarifies the meaning.

× One day I dream about singing in the church, worshiping the Lord all by myself, without any umm, choir or without any coaching, without anyone to guide me how to do it.

✓ One day I dream about singing in church, worshiping the Lord all by myself, without any choir or coaching, without anyone to guide me on how to do it.

The phrase 'in the church' is better as 'in church' for general activity. The repeated 'without any' before 'choir' and 'coaching' is redundant; removing the second 'without any' improves flow. Also, 'guide me how to do it' should be 'guide me on how to do it' for correct preposition use.

× I want to one day teach people just like me when I was young.

✓ I want to teach people one day just like I was when I was young.

The phrase 'I want to one day teach' is awkward; placing 'one day' after 'teach' is more natural. Also, 'people just like me when I was young' is unclear; rephrasing to 'people just like I was when I was young' clarifies the meaning.

× I think singing can bring happiness into people's life lives, especially people who are emotionally deprived of happiness or they are going through any depression.

✓ I think singing can bring happiness into people's lives, especially people who are emotionally deprived of happiness or are going through depression.

The phrase 'people's life lives' is incorrect; the plural 'lives' is correct. Also, 'any depression' is better as just 'depression' for natural expression.

× Umm if I would go and sing to my mother when she was down, she always.

✓ Umm, if I went and sang to my mother when she was down, she always felt better.

The original sentence is incomplete and uses incorrect conditional form 'if I would go'. The correct form is 'if I went and sang'. Also, the sentence needs completion to convey the intended meaning.