Hometown— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: In your answer, try to use clearer sentence structures and avoid redundancy. For example, say "My hometown is a village in Kampong Chiang province, about 150 kilometers from the provincial capital." Also, add linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your answer within 5 sentences.

Example: My hometown is a village in Kampong Chiang province, about 150 kilometers from the provincial capital. It is well known for its fertile agricultural land where most villagers do farming. When I think about my hometown, I often miss my childhood moments there.

Suggestion: Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like "uh" and be more specific. For example, say "I like my hometown because it has a peaceful and quiet atmosphere, which helps me relax after busy days."

Example: I like my hometown because it has a peaceful and quiet atmosphere. Living far from the city allows me to enjoy nature and relax. Moreover, the friendly people make the village a pleasant place to live.

Suggestion: Your answer needs clearer sentence structure and more coherence. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition. For example, say "I lived there for about 20 years before moving to the town. I have many fond memories of my childhood with neighbors and family, and I especially miss the food and relatives."

Example: I lived in my hometown for about 20 years before moving to the town. During that time, I enjoyed spending time with my neighbors and family. I especially miss my relatives and the delicious local food.

Suggestion: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to give a direct opinion with reasons and use linking words. Avoid filler words and finish your thoughts. For example, say "I don't think my hometown is good for young people because it lacks entertainment and internet access, which are important for them."

Example: I don't think my hometown is a good place for young people nowadays. This is because it lacks entertainment options and reliable internet access, which young people need for social media and other activities.

× My hometown is more village is in Kampong Chiang province, about 150 kilometer from the provincial capital.

✓ My hometown is a small village in Kampong Chiang province, about 150 kilometers from the provincial capital.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'more village' which is not grammatically correct. It should be 'a small village' to describe the hometown. Also, 'kilometer' should be plural 'kilometers' because the distance is more than one. In English, countable nouns need to be plural when the quantity is more than one.

× It is well known for fertile agricultural land where most of the village they do farming.

✓ It is well known for its fertile agricultural land where most of the villagers do farming.

The sentence structure is incorrect. 'Most of the village they do farming' is ungrammatical. It should be 'most of the villagers do farming' to correctly refer to the people living in the village. Also, 'its' is needed to show possession of the fertile land.

× When talking about hometown, I miss my childhood moment the most.

✓ When talking about my hometown, I miss my childhood moments the most.

The phrase 'When talking about hometown' lacks a possessive pronoun 'my' to specify which hometown. Also, 'moment' should be plural 'moments' because childhood includes multiple memories. This correction improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I like to think about my hometown the most.

✓ I like thinking about my hometown the most.

The phrase 'I like to think about' is grammatically correct but 'I like thinking about' is more natural in this context. It uses the gerund form to express a general preference.

× First is the, uh, environment there, uh, living far from the city, the village is known for peaceful and quiet atmosphere where I can enjoy the nature.

✓ First is the environment there. Living far from the city, the village is known for its peaceful and quiet atmosphere where I can enjoy nature.

The sentence is a run-on and needs to be split for clarity. 'Peaceful and quiet atmosphere' needs the possessive 'its' to describe the atmosphere of the village. 'Enjoy the nature' should be 'enjoy nature' as 'nature' is an uncountable noun and does not need 'the' here.

× I can relax and unwind after business and like the city and the people are also.

✓ I can relax and unwind after business, and I like the city and the people as well.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Adding 'I' before 'like' and connecting the ideas with a comma and 'and' improves sentence structure and clarity.

× To be honest, I lived there before around 20 year before moving to my current address in the town.

✓ To be honest, I lived there for around 20 years before moving to my current address in the town.

The phrase 'before around 20 year before' is redundant and incorrect. 'For around 20 years' correctly expresses the duration. Also, 'year' should be plural 'years' because the time period is more than one.

× When I lived there, I remember my childhood time with my neighbor friends and the time I spent together with my families.

✓ When I lived there, I remember my childhood with my neighbor friends and the time I spent together with my family.

'Childhood time' is redundant; 'childhood' alone suffices. 'Neighbor friends' should be 'neighbors' or 'neighboring friends' but 'neighbor friends' is acceptable in informal speech. 'Families' should be singular 'family' because it refers to the immediate family unit.

× I miss my relative most, miss.

✓ I miss my relatives the most.

The sentence is incomplete and repetitive. 'Relative' should be plural 'relatives' because it refers to multiple family members. Adding 'the most' clarifies the degree of missing them.

× The food there miss.

✓ I miss the food there.

The original sentence lacks a subject and verb agreement. Adding 'I' as the subject and 'miss' as the verb completes the sentence.

× Personally, I don't think my hometown is a good place for young people nowadays since they only require entertainment options or uh, Internet accessing where they can use for their entertainment, uh, activity, taking photo, Facebook or social media.

✓ Personally, I don't think my hometown is a good place for young people nowadays since they only need entertainment options or internet access where they can use for their entertainment activities like taking photos, Facebook, or social media.

'Require' is less commonly used in this context; 'need' is more natural. 'Internet accessing' is incorrect; it should be 'internet access'. 'Activity' should be plural 'activities'. 'Taking photo' should be 'taking photos'.

× But for those who require people.

✓ But for those who need people,

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'Require people' is awkward; 'need people' is more natural. The sentence needs completion to convey full meaning.