Hometown— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Try to make your sentences more natural and grammatically correct. For example, instead of 'it gives me few more comfortable and tranquil', say 'it is more comfortable and tranquil'. Also, avoid redundancy by not repeating similar ideas. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Example: My hometown is Permangano, a suburban area that is less populated, so it is less crowded and has less traffic compared to the urban city of Georgetown. Because of this, it is more comfortable and tranquil, which makes living there very enjoyable for me.

Suggestion: Your answer is good but can be improved by using linking words to connect your ideas better. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas like 'sense of freedom' and 'unwind myself' which are close in meaning. Try to add more specific details to enrich your answer.

Example: I really love the paddy field behind my house because it gives me a sense of freedom and peace. For example, I usually go cycling there in the evening, and the gentle breeze flowing through my hair and face helps me to relax and forget about daily stress.

Suggestion: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using linking words to connect ideas and by making sentences more concise. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas like 'my parents and other relatives also live there' and 'they grew up there'.

Example: I have lived in Permangano since I was a baby because my grandparents bought a house there. Moreover, my parents and other relatives grew up in the same area, so it feels like a big family home.

Suggestion: Your answer is good and clear. To improve, try to use linking words to make your points flow better. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas like 'explore more opportunities' and 'start up their own business' which are related. Try to be more concise and specific.

Example: To be honest, I don't think my hometown is suitable for young people to find new opportunities or start their own businesses because the community is quite traditional and conservative. Therefore, it can be challenging for young entrepreneurs to introduce new and innovative ideas.

× It gives me few more comfortable and tranquil, so I really enjoy living there.

✓ It gives me a few more comfortable and tranquil moments, so I really enjoy living there.

The phrase 'few more comfortable and tranquil' is incorrect because 'comfortable' and 'tranquil' are adjectives and need to describe a noun. Adding 'a few' requires a plural noun after it. Therefore, adding 'moments' makes the sentence grammatically correct and clearer.

× I really love the Paddy field behind my house, it gives me a sense of freedom whenever I want to unwind myself.

✓ I really love the paddy fields behind my house; they give me a sense of freedom whenever I want to unwind myself.

'Paddy field' is singular, but the context suggests multiple fields or a general area, so 'paddy fields' (plural) is more appropriate. Also, the pronoun 'it' should be changed to 'they' to agree with the plural noun 'fields'. Additionally, the sentence is a run-on and should be separated properly.

× I usually go cycling there in the evening and I feel relaxed when the gentle breeze flows through my hair and face.

✓ I usually go cycling there in the evening, and I feel relaxed when the gentle breeze flows over my hair and face.

The preposition 'through' is incorrect here because a breeze flows 'over' or 'across' hair and face, not 'through' them. Using 'over' is more natural and grammatically correct in this context.

× They grew up there so it feels like a big family home.

✓ They grew up there, so it felt like a big family home.

The first clause is in past tense 'grew up', so the second clause should also be in past tense to maintain tense consistency. Changing 'feels' to 'felt' aligns the tenses properly.

× ...which can be quite challenging for young entrepreneurs to try on new and innovative ideas.

✓ ...which can be quite challenging for young entrepreneurs to try out new and innovative ideas.

The phrasal verb 'try out' is correct when referring to testing or experimenting with ideas. Using 'try on' is incorrect here as it usually refers to clothing or accessories.