Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Try to make your answer more natural and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add supporting details without redundancy. Also, pay attention to grammar and article usage, for example, say 'I have my own shoe shop' instead of 'a own shop'.

Example: I recently finished my studies at Hassan College, where I completed a Regency course. Now, I own and regularly work at my own shoe shop.

Suggestion: Make your answer more coherent by using linking words and clearer descriptions. Avoid filler phrases like 'Yeah that's it'. Also, use correct grammar such as 'I work at my own shoe shop' and specify the types of shoes more clearly.

Example: I work at my own shoe shop, which offers a variety of shoes including traditional farmers' shoes and modern styles. I also have three salesmen who help me sell the shoes.

Suggestion: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, explain why you feel great and how your friends contribute to the good environment.

Example: Yes, it is a great place to work because I feel comfortable there. Moreover, many of my kind friends work nearby, which makes the atmosphere friendly and enjoyable.

Suggestion: Make your answer more concise and avoid repeating the same ideas. Use linking words to connect your reasons logically. Also, correct grammar such as 'my shoe shop is beside my home'.

Example: Yes, I like the place because my shoe shop is next to my home, which is very convenient. Additionally, many other shoe shops and my friends are nearby, so I feel comfortable working there.

Suggestion: Try to complete your answer fully and avoid hesitation sounds like 'Huh'. Start with a clear topic sentence and provide specific future plans with supporting details. For example, mention what kind of business you want to run or your goals.

Example: As a business management student, I plan to become a successful businessman in the future. I aim to expand my shoe shop and possibly open more branches to grow my business.

× Yeah, recently I finished with my study.

✓ Yeah, recently I finished my studies.

The phrase 'finished with my study' is incorrect; 'finished my studies' is the correct expression to indicate completion of education. Also, 'studies' is plural here because it refers to the entire course of education.

× I passed the Regency from Hassan College and now I have a own shop which is shoe shop and regularly I work there.

✓ I passed the Regency from Hassan College and now I have my own shoe shop and regularly work there.

The phrase 'a own shop' is incorrect; it should be 'my own shop' to indicate possession. Also, 'which is shoe shop' is awkward; better to say 'my own shoe shop'. The article 'a' is incorrectly used before 'own'.

× I am working my own shoe shop.

✓ I am working at my own shoe shop.

The verb 'working' requires the preposition 'at' to indicate the place of work. Without 'at', the sentence is incomplete and incorrect.

× There are many shoes collection like farmers shoes and modern shoes.

✓ There is a large collection of shoes like farmers' shoes and modern shoes.

'Shoes collection' is singular, so 'There is' should be used instead of 'There are'. Also, 'farmers shoes' should be 'farmers' shoes' to show possession.

× Yeah that's it and I have 3 salesman to sell my shoes.

✓ Yeah, that's it and I have 3 salesmen to sell my shoes.

The plural of 'salesman' is 'salesmen'. Using the singular form with a plural number is incorrect.

× Yeah, of course it it is a really good place to work because of I feel so great when I am at my shoe shop because and there are, there are lots of my friends and they are really kind.

✓ Yeah, of course it is a really good place to work because I feel so great when I am at my shoe shop and there are lots of my friends who are really kind.

The phrase 'because of I feel' is incorrect; it should be 'because I feel'. Also, 'because and there are' is incorrect conjunction usage; 'and there are' is sufficient. The sentence is corrected for clarity and grammar.

× Yeah, of course I like the place because my shoe source beside at my home and that's why I like that place and there are lots of shoe shops and also my friends work there.

✓ Yeah, of course I like the place because my shoe store is beside my home and that's why I like that place. There are lots of shoe shops and also my friends work there.

The phrase 'my shoe source beside at my home' is incorrect. It should be 'my shoe store is beside my home'. 'Beside' does not require 'at' after it. Also, 'shoe source' is likely a mistake for 'shoe store'.

× That's why I feel so comfortable or when I work there, that's why I like the place.

✓ That's why I feel so comfortable when I work there; that's why I like the place.

The conjunction 'or' is incorrectly used here; it should be removed or replaced with a semicolon or comma to connect the ideas properly.