Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy such as "I used to be a student five years ago"; simply say "I graduated from Monash University five years ago." Also, try to keep your answer within 4-5 sentences and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Example: I graduated from Monash University five years ago, and now I work as a receptionist at a gym. I really enjoy this job because it allows me to meet new people every day and stay active.

Suggestion: Your answer is well-structured and informative. To improve, try to use linking words like "also" or "in addition" to connect your points more smoothly. Additionally, you could add a specific example to make your answer more vivid and engaging.

Example: I work as a receptionist at a gym. It’s a great place to work because it offers several benefits, such as free access to the gym and flexible hours. In addition, the friendly atmosphere makes it enjoyable, and I often meet interesting people from different backgrounds.

Suggestion: Your answer is positive but a bit repetitive and slightly unclear at the end. Try to avoid repeating the same points and use linking words like "because" and "which" correctly. Also, be specific about how organised activities help, to enrich your answer.

Example: Yes, it’s a fantastic place to work because the environment is positive and supportive. It also offers benefits like free gym access and organised activities, which help employees relax and build good relationships.

Suggestion: There is a small mistake: "the place where I walk" should be "the place where I work." Also, try to avoid repeating the same benefits mentioned before. Instead, add new details or personal feelings to make your answer more natural and engaging.

Example: Yes, I really enjoy working there because it helps me stay healthy with free gym access. Moreover, the regular social events make the workplace friendly and supportive, which motivates me to do my best.

Suggestion: Your answer is relevant but contains some grammatical errors and an incomplete ending. Use correct modal verbs like "I hope I can" or "I would like to". Also, complete your sentences fully and use linking words like "because" and "so that" to clarify your reasons.

Example: I would like to become an office manager in the future because the role offers a higher salary and more responsibility. I’m eager to use my organisational and leadership skills to help the team work more efficiently and to develop my career further.

× I used to be a student five years ago at Monash University, but now I graduated and I started working as a receptionist at a gym.

✓ I used to be a student five years ago at Monash University, but now I have graduated and I have started working as a receptionist at a gym.

The sentence mixes past simple ('graduated', 'started') with 'now' which indicates a recent or current state. Using present perfect ('have graduated', 'have started') is appropriate to show actions completed recently and relevant to the present.

× Yes, I really enjoy the place where I walk because it offers several benefits to the employees, such as free access to the gym, which helps me stay healthy.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy the place where I work because it offers several benefits to the employees, such as free access to the gym, which helps me stay healthy.

The word 'walk' is a typo or incorrect word choice here; the correct pronoun is 'work' to refer to the place of employment. Using the correct verb clarifies the meaning.

× I'm eager to use my organizational and leadership skills to help the team work more efficiently and to develop my career for.

✓ I'm eager to use my organizational and leadership skills to help the team work more efficiently and to develop my career further.

The preposition 'for' at the end is incorrect and incomplete. The correct word is 'further' to indicate advancement or progression in career development.