Work— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is understandable but can be more natural and clear. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, say "I am currently both a student and a coordinator at a school in Naxal, Kathmandu."

Example: I am currently both a student and a coordinator at a school located in Naxal, Kathmandu.

Suggestion: Your answer is confusing and unclear. Try to give a clear and specific location without unnecessary or unclear names. For example, "I work in a school located in Naxal, which is in the heart of Kathmandu."

Example: I work in a school located in Naxal, which is in the heart of Kathmandu.

Suggestion: Your answer has good ideas but lacks clarity and coherence. Avoid filler words like "blah blah" and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "Although there are challenges, I have learned many skills that helped me grow personally and professionally, so I think it is a good place to work."

Example: Although there are challenges, I have learned many skills that helped me grow personally and professionally, so I think it is a good place to work.

Suggestion: Your answer is unclear and contains many errors. Avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences. Try to express your opinion clearly with supporting details. For example, "I like my workplace because it helps me develop my skills and character, but I believe it can improve by adopting new technologies."

Example: I like my workplace because it helps me develop my skills and character, but I believe it can improve by adopting new technologies.

Suggestion: Your answer is relevant but can be more concise and natural. Avoid awkward phrases like "curriculum activities" and use correct terms like "achievements" or "experiences." For example, "I want to use the knowledge I gained to build my career and gain valuable experiences that will help me become a successful businessman."

Example: I want to use the knowledge I gained to build my career and gain valuable experiences that will help me become a successful businessman.

× Currently I'm doing both.

✓ Currently I'm doing both.

No correction needed here; 'doing both' is correct as it describes ongoing actions.

× I'm a student as well as I'm working as a coordinator in Kathmandu in this school which in Naxal.

✓ I'm a student as well as working as a coordinator at a school in Naxal, Kathmandu.

The original sentence is awkward and redundant. Using 'as well as working' avoids repeating 'I'm' and improves sentence flow. Also, 'in this school which in Naxal' is incorrect; it should be 'at a school in Naxal.'

× I work in the capital city of Kathmandu, that is next Telleria, which is near the heart of the city known as Soon Dara Andorra Markovia.

✓ I work in the capital city of Kathmandu, in an area called Next Telleria, which is near the heart of the city known as Sundhara and New Road.

The preposition 'next' is incorrect here; it should be 'in an area called.' Also, some place names seem misspelled; 'Soon Dara Andorra Markovia' likely refers to 'Sundhara and New Road.' Correct prepositions and proper nouns improve clarity.

× In any workplace there is challenges as well as opportunities so I have faced both of it.

✓ In any workplace, there are challenges as well as opportunities, so I have faced both of them.

'Challenges' is plural, so 'there is' should be 'there are.' Also, 'both of it' is incorrect; it should be 'both of them' to refer to plural nouns.

× In that organization I have learned so much thing that helped me to develop my career skills that builds me as a better person.

✓ In that organization, I have learned so many things that helped me develop my career skills and have built me into a better person.

'So much thing' is incorrect; it should be 'so many things' because 'things' is countable. Also, verb forms and conjunctions are adjusted for clarity and correctness.

× Whereas it may board so many threads in me.

✓ Whereas it may have brought many threats to me.

The original sentence is unclear and uses incorrect words. 'Board so many threads' is incorrect; likely intended 'brought many threats.' Correct pronouns and word choice improve meaning.

× So I think it is a good place for me as well as blah blah.

✓ So I think it is a good place for me as well.

'Blah blah' is informal and inappropriate in this context; it should be omitted for clarity and professionalism.

× I have a mic stand for it.

✓ I have a mixed stand on it.

The phrase 'mic stand' is unclear and likely a mishearing or typo. Possibly intended 'mixed stand' meaning mixed feelings or opinions. Correct quantifier and phrase needed for clarity.

× Uh, when I was building my cardial in that organization, I learn so much of thing that helps me to build myself as a good personal character.

✓ Uh, when I was building my career in that organization, I learned so many things that helped me build myself into a good person with strong character.

'Learn' should be past tense 'learned' to match 'was building.' 'So much of thing' is incorrect; use 'so many things.' 'Cardial' is likely 'career.' Sentence structure improved for clarity.

× And at the time passes by, I I would like to say that the place where I work can be even better as.

✓ And as time passes by, I would like to say that the place where I work can be even better.

'At the time passes by' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'as time passes by.' Also, remove repeated 'I' and incomplete ending.

× As technology is developing, the organizer.

✓ As technology is developing, the organization should adapt accordingly.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'the organization should adapt accordingly' completes the thought and improves sentence structure.

× So whatever I have learned in their organization, in my personal life, I want to utilize that knowledge in my career building and I want to achieve a good curriculum activities in my CV that helps me to be a better businessman in the future.

✓ So whatever I have learned in that organization, in my personal life, I want to utilize that knowledge to build my career, and I want to achieve good curricular activities on my CV that will help me become a better businessman in the future.

Use 'that organization' instead of 'their organization.' 'Curriculum activities' is incorrect; 'curricular activities' or 'achievements' is better. Prepositions adjusted for clarity.