7 分範例
話題: Describe a time when you felt proud of a family member
範例
Step 1: Identify the Part 2 question requirements. The question asks you to describe a time when you felt proud of a family member. You should mention: - When it happened - Who the person is - What the person did - And explain why you felt proud of him/her Step 2: Strategies for a better answer - Expand your answer with more details or extra stories: Give background about your family member, describe the situation in detail, and add any relevant emotions or reactions. - Coherence is important: Make sure your story flows logically from one point to the next. - Paraphrasing: Use different words to express the same ideas, especially when referring to pride or achievement. - Referring: Refer back to previous points to maintain cohesion. - Signposting: Use linking words and phrases to guide the listener through your answer. - Vocabulary needs to be appropriate as well as varied: Use a range of adjectives and verbs to describe feelings and actions. - Using synonyms or substitution: Avoid repeating the same words, especially “proud” or “family member.” - Demonstrating a range of grammar is key factor: Use different tenses, conditionals, and complex sentences. - Whole Model Answer MUST be more than 300 words. Topic:A time I felt proud of my younger sister When it happened One of the most memorable times I felt incredibly proud of a family member was about two years ago, during my younger sister’s high school graduation ceremony. The event took place in June, right at the end of the academic year, and it was held in the large auditorium of her school. I remember the weather was perfect that day, which made the whole experience even more enjoyable for our family. Who the person is The person I’m referring to is my younger sister, Lily. She’s always been a very determined and hardworking individual, but she’s also quite modest and doesn’t usually talk much about her achievements. Growing up, we were quite close, and I’ve always admired her dedication to her studies and her willingness to help others. What the person did What made this occasion so special was that Lily was chosen as the valedictorian of her graduating class. This meant she had the highest academic performance among all her peers, and she was selected to deliver the graduation speech. I still remember sitting in the audience, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness as she walked up to the podium. Her speech was not only eloquent and heartfelt, but it also inspired many of her classmates to pursue their dreams. She spoke about overcoming challenges, the importance of perseverance, and the value of supporting one another. After her speech, she received a standing ovation from everyone in the auditorium, including teachers, students, and parents. And explain why you felt proud of him/her The reason I felt so proud of Lily was not just because of her academic accomplishments, but also because of the way she carried herself throughout the entire process. She worked incredibly hard, often staying up late to study or help her friends with their assignments, yet she never complained or sought attention. Seeing her recognized for her efforts and hearing her speak so confidently in front of a large audience made me realize how much she had grown. It was a truly emotional moment for me, and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and admiration for her. To this day, whenever I think about that moment, it motivates me to work harder and be a better sibling.
第一步：確定第二部分問題的要求。 問題要求你描述一次你為家人感到驕傲的時刻。你應該提到： - 這件事發生的時間 - 這個人是誰 - 這個人做了什麼 - 並解釋為什麼你為他/她感到驕傲 第二步：提升答案的策略 - 用更多細節或額外故事來擴展你的回答：介紹你的家人背景，詳細描述情況，並加入相關的情感或反應。 - 連貫性很重要：確保你的故事從一點自然流暢地銜接到下一點。 - 轉述同義：使用不同的詞彙來表達相同的意思，尤其是談及驕傲或成就時。 - 指代：回顧前面提到的重點，以維持整體連貫性。 - 標示：使用連接詞和短語引導聽者理解你的回答。 - 詞彙需恰當且多樣化：使用各種形容詞和動詞來描述感受和行動。 - 使用同義詞或替代詞：避免重複使用相同的詞語，特別是“驕傲”或“家人”。 - 展示語法多樣性是關鍵：使用不同時態、條件句和複雜句。 - 整篇範文回答必須超過300字。 主題：我為妹妹感到驕傲的一次經歷 發生時間 我最難忘、最驕傲的一次是大約兩年前，當時是我妹妹的高中畢業典禮。這個活動在六月舉行，學年剛結束，地點是在她學校的大禮堂。我記得那天天氣非常好，這讓整個體驗對我們家人來說更加愉快。 這個人是誰 我說的這個人是我的妹妹Lily。她一直是一個非常堅定且努力的人，但她也很謙虛，通常不會多談自己的成就。從小到大，我們感情很深，我一直很欣賞她對學業的投入和願意幫助他人的態度。 這個人做了什麼 讓這次典禮特別的是Lily被選為畢業班的致辭代表，這代表她在同學中擁有最高的學業成績，並且被選中發表畢業演講。我仍然記得坐在觀眾席上，心裡既興奮又緊張，看著她走上講台。她的演講不僅言辭優美且發自內心，還激勵了許多同學去追求夢想。她談到了克服挑戰、堅持不懈的重要性，以及相互支持的價值。演講結束後，她獲得了全場，包括老師、學生和家長的起立鼓掌。 為什麼為他/她感到驕傲 我為Lily感到驕傲的原因，不僅是因為她的學業成就，更因為她在整個過程中表現出的態度。她非常努力，經常熬夜讀書或幫助朋友完成功課，但她從不抱怨也不張揚自己的付出。看到她努力得到認可，並在眾多觀眾面前自信地演講，讓我深刻體會她成長了多少。那對我來說是一個非常感動的時刻，我對她充滿了驕傲和敬佩。直到今天，每當我想起那一刻，都激勵我更加努力，做一個更好的兄姐。
語法分析
- **複雜句型結構：** 答案展現了對複雜句子的良好掌握，使用從屬子句和關係子句來增加細節和深度。例如：“What made this occasion so special was that Lily was chosen as the valedictorian of her graduating class, which meant she had the highest academic performance among all her peers, and she was selected to deliver the graduation speech.” - **時態多樣性：** 回答巧妙地在過去簡單時態（“I remember the weather was perfect”）、過去進行時（“she was staying up late to study”）和現在簡單時態（“she’s always been a very determined and hardworking individual”）之間切換，以提供背景和情境。 - **代詞指涉與連貫性：** 使用“she”、“her”和“this”等代詞有效地維持連貫性並避免重複。 - **被動語態的使用：** 被動語態使用恰當，例如：“was chosen as the valedictorian,” “was held in the large auditorium,” “was recognized for her efforts.” - **條件句與使役結構：** 答案使用使役及條件句表達原因與假設情況，如“The reason I felt so proud…was not just because of her academic accomplishments, but also because of the way she carried herself.” - **連接詞與提示性語句：** “What made this occasion so special,” “After her speech,” “The reason I felt so proud,” “To this day,” 和 “whenever I think about that moment” 等詞語和短語有助於引導聽眾了解敘述脈絡並確保邏輯流程。
高分詞匯
  • - **Adjectives and Descriptive Phrases:** “incredibly proud,” “memorable,” “determined,” “hardworking,” “modest,” “eloquent,” “heartfelt,” “confidently,” “overwhelming sense of pride and admiration.”
    - **形容詞和描述短語：** “incredibly proud,” “memorable,” “determined,” “hardworking,” “modest,” “eloquent,” “heartfelt,” “confidently,” “overwhelming sense of pride and admiration.”
  • - **Academic and Event-Related Vocabulary:** “graduation ceremony,” “valedictorian,” “graduating class,” “academic performance,” “graduation speech,” “standing ovation,” “auditorium,” “peers,” “teachers,” “students,” “parents.”
    - **學術及活動相關詞彙：** “graduation ceremony,” “valedictorian,” “graduating class,” “academic performance,” “graduation speech,” “standing ovation,” “auditorium,” “peers,” “teachers,” “students,” “parents.”
  • - **Verbs and Phrasal Verbs:** “admired,” “delivered,” “overcoming challenges,” “pursue their dreams,” “supporting one another,” “recognized for her efforts,” “carried herself,” “motivates me,” “work harder.”
    - **動詞和片語動詞：** “admired,” “delivered,” “overcoming challenges,” “pursue their dreams,” “supporting one another,” “recognized for her efforts,” “carried herself,” “motivates me,” “work harder.”
  • - **Emotional and Reflective Language:** “felt an overwhelming sense of pride,” “truly emotional moment,” “admiration,” “motivates me to work harder,” “be a better sibling.”
    - **情感與反思語言：** “felt an overwhelming sense of pride,” “truly emotional moment,” “admiration,” “motivates me to work harder,” “be a better sibling.”
  • - **Idiomatic and Natural Expressions:** “walked up to the podium,” “stood out,” “staying up late,” “never complained or sought attention,” “to this day.”
    - **慣用且自然的表達方式：** “walked up to the podium,” “stood out,” “staying up late,” “never complained or sought attention,” “to this day.”
  • These features together demonstrate a Band 7.0 level answer: clear, fluent, well-organized, with a range of grammar and vocabulary, and only occasional minor errors that do not impede communication.
    這些特點共同展示了一個7.0分的答題水平：清晰、流暢、組織良好，具備多樣的語法和詞彙，且僅有偶爾的小錯誤，不影響溝通。