梦想— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarify your main idea with a clear topic sentence and use simple, correct grammar. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and add one specific detail. Use linking words like “usually” or “often” to sound natural.

範例: Yes. I usually dream about my future life over the next ten years, especially where I will live and how my family will be. For example, I often imagine moving to a bigger city and getting a stable job so my parents can retire comfortably.

建議: Answer directly with a topic sentence stating whether you share dreams, then give one brief reason and a short example. Use correct words and linking phrases like “because” or “for example.” Avoid unclear words.

範例: No, I don’t usually share my dreams because I consider them private. For example, if I have a strange or personal dream, I prefer not to tell friends because it feels embarrassing.

建議: State your opinion clearly and support it with one specific reason or short example. Use linking words like “because” or “for instance,” and avoid filler words (uh, um). Keep it to two or three sentences.

範例: Yes, I think dreams can relate to real life because they sometimes reflect our worries or desires. For instance, when I was young I often dreamed about exams before an important test, which showed my anxiety.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence saying yes or no, then explain one or two concrete goals and why they matter. Use linking words like “because,” “so,” or “for example,” and avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

範例: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because they would improve my life and my family’s future. For example, I hope to build a successful career so I can support my parents and have more time to spend with friends.

× Is generally a dream about in the next 10 years the **** where I live defend if I have and my family.

✓ Generally, my dream for the next 10 years is to defend the place where I live and to protect my family.

The original sentence has fragmented structure and missing subject and verbs. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Reorder components to supply a clear subject ('my dream'), a time frame ('for the next 10 years'), and verbs ('is to defend', 'to protect'). Use parallel infinitive forms for multiple goals. Ensure logical word order: adverb ('generally') at start, then subject and predicate.

× Well, I never share my dear to Walters because it's my privacy and edema Wells something crazy. Yeah, and.

✓ Well, I never share my dreams with others because they are my private thoughts and sometimes seem crazy.

The original uses incorrect and unclear pronouns/words ('dear', 'to Walters', 'edema Wells'). This is primarily an incorrect use of pronouns and word choice (ID 12). Use 'dreams' (plural) and the correct preposition 'share with'. Use 'they' to refer back to 'dreams' and replace unclear words with 'private thoughts' and 'sometimes seem crazy'.

× Yes, I think the is related to real life because uh, when I was young, I was D mobile next year and it's video so.

✓ Yes, I think dreams are related to real life because when I was young I had vivid dreams that felt like videos.

The sentence has missing and incorrect pronouns/subjects ('the is') and unclear phrases ('D mobile next year', 'it's video'). This falls under incorrect use of pronouns/word choice (ID 12). Restore the subject 'dreams', use plural agreement 'are', and replace the unclear fragment with 'had vivid dreams that felt like videos' to convey the intended meaning. Maintain past tense for childhood experiences.

× Well, yes, I want to achieve my team because it will change my life forever and my dearness, I want to reach. I want to have a a lot of friends. I want to to my family.

✓ Yes, I want to achieve my goals because it will change my life forever and make me closer to my dreams. I want to have a lot of friends and support my family.

This passage contains broken sentences, wrong word choices ('team' instead of 'dreams' or 'goals', 'dearness'), missing verbs, and repeated words. It is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and some incorrect word choice overlapping with pronoun/adjective issues. Replace 'team' with 'goals', clarify 'dearness' as 'dreams' or 'ambitions', remove duplicate words, and provide complete clauses with clear verbs ('make me closer', 'support my family'). Keep tense consistent (present/future intention).